Coworker: “Tech support, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I need LSD for my son. You have that, right?”
Coworker: “Uh?”
Customer: “You know, that high-speed Internet thing…”
Coworker: *trying not to laugh* “You mean DSL?”
This story is part of our dangerous parents roundup!
Read the next dangerous parents roundup story!
Read the dangerous parents roundup!
(I’m hurrying to the bathroom as a foreign couple starts flailing at me.)
Me: “How can I he–”
Customers: “FAXMACHEEEEE!”
Me: “A fax machine?”
Male Customer: “FAXMACHEEEEEE!”
Me: “Okay… well, if you follow me over here, I’ll show you what we have.”
(I lead the customer over to the single fax machine that we carry.)
Female Customer: *staring at me confused* “FAXMACHEEE?!”
Me: “Yes, that’s a fax machi–”
Male Customer: “FAXMACHEEE?!”
Me: “Are you trying to ask if we carry any other fax machines?”
Male Customer: *stares blankly at me for a few moments*
Female Customer: *nods frantically* “FAXMACHEEEE!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but this is the only one we carry currently.”
Male Customer: “… faxmachee?” *hangs head and walks away with female customer*
(Preface: One of our business’ locations lost power. I first spent an hour on the phone…)
Me: “Your power went out? Did you shut down the computers or did they shut down on their own?”
Them: “They just shut down, and now they won’t come up!”
Me: “So you have power now? Are your TVs and radios playing?”
Them: “Yes!”
Me: “What I want you to do is go to the computer and find the power cord.”
Them: “Okay, got it.”
Me: “Trace it to the battery backup. You will find it plugged into the back of it.”
Them: “Okay, found it.”
Me: “Plug it into a receptacle other than the battery backup. Plug it into the wall receptacle.”
Them: “Okay, done.”
Me: “Now try to power the computer up.”
Them: “Nothing.”
Me: “There may have been a breaker that tripped. Do you know your way around your fusebox?”
Them: “Yes.”
Me: “Go look at it and see if anything is tripped. If so, reset it, okay?”
Them: “Okay, hold on…”
(After a few moments…)
Them: “Nothing’s tripped and I have customers needing to make payments!”
Me: “Okay, I will be there in a couple of hours.”
(After a two-hour trip, I arrived with a new computer in my backseat. The first thing I looked at is the backup power supply. The problem? The computer was still plugged into the backup, but even better: they plugged the backup power supply into itself. Two-hour trip, one-minute solution.)
This story is part of the Problems That Resolve Themselves roundup!
Read the next Problems That Resolve Themselves roundup story!
Read the Problems That Resolve Themselves roundup!
(A library patron comes to the desk with her laptop.)
Patron: “I’m having problems getting on the Internet.”
Me: “Well, if you’re connecting wirelessly, you need to log on to our network with your email address–”
Patron: “I know that! I’m not stupid. I put in my email and password and it won’t connect me!”
Me: “Okay, why don’t you try and log in here, and I’ll see if I can help.”
Patron: *logs on* “See! I enter everything and then it says Not Connecting You To The Internet. It’s been doing this for the past half hour… I keep closing it and trying again!”
Me: “Uh, that says Now Connecting You To The Internet…”
Patron: “No it doesn’t! It says Not Connecting You To The Internet!”
Me: “What’s that word?”
Patron: “Now!”
Me: “And the others?”
Patron: “Connecting You To The… erm. I have to go now.”
This story is part of the Refusing To Read roundup!
Read the next Refusing To Read roundup story!
Read the Refusing To Read roundup!
Customer: “Since you don’t have the laptop in stock that I want, here’s what I want instead: a bag, a decent one, and a USB stick, at least a 4 gig but I’d prefer the 8. All for free.”
Me: “Uh, I can’t do that.”
Customer: “I thought it was about making the customer happy! I am not happy. You have to make me happy!”
Me: “So, let me get this right. Since you’re not buying anything today, you want free stuff?
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Well, this isn’t very good customer service at all. You guys say you run a business, but this is just s***.”
Me: “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, but like you said, it’s a business. You don’t stay in business by giving things away!”
Customer: *stalks off*
