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Just Wait Until Congress Hears About This

, , | Right | December 27, 2007

Me: “Yes, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Well I need one of those things that go in back of my phone. What’s it called?”

Me: “I’m not sure what it is, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh yeah, I remember what it is. A stem cell…”

Me: “A what?!”

Customer: “You know, a stem cell so I can make calls… the little card thing…”

(She was thinking of a SIM card; I died laughing when she left!)

Not Unless It Has A Prenup

, , | Right | December 6, 2007

(This is where I entered the conversation.)

Lady Customer: “Yes, I have at home a ‘widows’ computer. Will the software work on a ‘widows’ computer?”

You Go On Wit Yo Bad DIY Self!

, | Right | December 3, 2007

Caller: “Hello, I’d like some help!”

Me: “Sure, sir, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Well, actually I don’t have an account yet. I was wondering if I could talk or send messages to my daughter. She’s in Australia and she has an internet account.”

Me: “Yes, sir, that’s possible!”

Caller: “What do I need to do that?”

Me: “You just need a computer and a modem.”

Caller: “Hey, but I just have a FAX machine and a TV! Isn’t that enough?”

Me: *controlling the urge to burst in laughter* “I’m afraid not, sir. You’ll need a computer for sure.”

Caller: “YOU KNOW WHAT? You guys don’t wanna help me! I know your types! You just want the fat, rich customers that will buy anything you demand! You know what? You’re not the only ISP in town! Goodbye!” *click*

A Lost Cause

, , | Right | November 21, 2007

(I have a friend that works at a home improvement store; one day, a woman comes in looking for a generator)

Customer: “What does it mean when it says seven-gallon tank?”

Employee: “Uh, it means it can hold seven gallons of gas.”

Customer: “Gas? Why would it need gas?”

Employee: “It’s a generator. How else would it produce electricity?”

Customer: “I thought you just plugged it in.”


This story is part of our Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

Read the next Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup story!

Read the Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

Honesty Is Always The Best Policy

, , | Right | November 15, 2007

Customer #1: “Ah… okay. Thanks for your help.”

Me: “That’s what I’m here for.”

Customer #2: “I need help…”

Me: “…and that is how it’s done.”

Customer #2: “That was simple. You made me feel dumb.”

Me: “That’s what I’m here… I mean…” (I didn’t know what to say from there)