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When Men Were Men & Electronics Were Multi-Taskers

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2009

(A mother and son are finishing up their purchase.)

Me: “Will that be all for you guys today?”

Customer: “Well… do you have meetings here with your staff? Like ones where everyone can talk?”

Me: “Sometimes…”

Customer: “I want you to tell them I don’t like these new TVs, the flat screens and the plasmas. I want the old TVs back. You should tell them that.”

Me: “The old TVs?”

Customer: “I remember when TVs were like furniture. You could use them to put a plant on, or a lamp, and they were square and wood-paneled. TVs were better then.”

Son: “Mom, I like the new plasma and LCD TVs. They’re really cool!”

Customer: “No! They aren’t! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” *to me* “Now, young lady, you should tell them that for me! Tell them I want furniture back! And I’m not the only one!”

(She then proceeded to walk around the store, going off about technology, and how the old stuff was better. Her poor son was embarrassed the whole time.)


This story is part of the Old-Technology roundup!

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Veni Vidi Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Went Home & Bought

, , , | Right | March 19, 2009

Customer: “I definitely think I want to buy this laptop.”

Me: “That’s great, sir. If you just wait here, I can run back and get it for you right now.”

Customer: “Oh, thanks, that would be great. And I also read something on your website about free shipping.”

Me: “Yes… that’s true.”

Customer: “So, do I get free shipping?”

Me: “Um, that only applies to online orders. There’s no shipping if you buy directly from the store.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “…because you don’t need anything shipped if you buy it in the store.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. Why would anyone buy it in the store when they can get free shipping online?”

Me: “Uh… because they’re already at the store?”

Customer: “You know what? I think I’m gonna just go buy it online. And you should probably re-evaluate your free shipping policy. No offense, but it’s kind of stupid.”

Me: “…”

I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me Log In

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2009

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “When I try to change my password, I’m typing and it’s just making stars.”

Me: “Okay… that’s normal. It’s a security feature to prevent someone standing behind you from seeing what you’re typing.”

Customer: “But there’s no one standing behind me…”

Me: “…”

Quantity Does Not Equal Quality

, , , , | Right | March 17, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling Tech Support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, could you send me one of your free connection CDs?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I pull up her account and see that she’s already ordered 50 copies.)

Me: “Uh, ma’am? It seems you’ve already requested several CDs. Is there a reason you need another?”

Customer: “Well, yes! I used up the other CDs already.”

Me: “Ma’am, you can re-use the CDs. Have you been throwing them away?”

Customer: “No. I put them into the little slot and they just slide in, and the computer keeps them. I thought it was like a bus ticket!”

(I recommended that she go to a local repair shop. They, in turn, removed almost 100 CDs from the inside of her case.)

Deceptive Desserts

, , , , | Right | March 16, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, but I have a complaint to make.”

Me: “Oh, sure. What’s the matter?”

Customer: “I heard a group of teenagers over there talking, and they said the cake that you serve is a lie.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “What exactly do you have to say for yourselves?! I come in here, expecting to find a decent establishment, only to find out you are selling fake food!”

Me: “Um, ma’am. They were repeating a popular phrase from the internet. I can assure you, the cake that we sell very much exists.”

Customer: “Prove it! Show me this cake.”

Me: *points*

Customer: “Oh. In that case, you should write a letter to the internet about how they’re making up rumors about your products.”

Me: “I’ll… I’ll do that. Thank you.”