While there are many computer mice with scroll buttons, this customer doesn’t have one. I am helping them navigate my company’s website.

Me: “The item you’re looking for is toward the bottom of the page, so please scroll down.”

Customer: *After a few moments* “I can’t go down anymore.”

Me: “Did you reach the bottom of the page?”

Customer: “No, but I’m at the bottom of my mousepad; I can’t go any lower.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “How am I supposed to get to the bottom of the page? I have no more room to move down.”

Me: *Pause* “You can click the down arrow that’s at the bottom of the scroll bar; that will keep it moving.”

Customer: “But I have no room left on the mousepad to move it lower.”

I take a deep breath.

Me: “Lift up your mouse…”

Customer: “Okay, I’ve done that.”

Me: “…move your hand forward a bit…”

Customer: “Okay, now what?”

Me: “…put your mouse back down.”

Customer: “Oh, hey! I have more room now!”

Related:
Backing Me Up Into A Corner Here

I’ve recently bought a new home and, since it’s missing a fridge, my roommate and I decide to just go ahead and buy all new kitchen appliances, as there is a great sale on at the time. We get everything scheduled for delivery and have zero issues, except for the microwave, which we are told would be available for pickup in a couple of weeks. No big deal, credit card swiped, and we’re good to go!

The pickup day arrives and I don’t receive any contact that the microwave is ready for pickup, so just to be sure, I go back and check the information on the email receipt. The date we were given at the time of purchase was July 20th, but the pickup date on the receipt is August 8th!

Okay, my bad, I should have checked it when I got it. I call the company and explain what happened.

Me: “Is there anything available sooner? I apologize for not noticing the date on the receipt before, but the original date we were given was July 20th.”

The representative is very nice.

Representative #1: “I can actually change the microwave to delivery at no charge and have it to you by July 23rd!”

I thank her and quickly get an email confirming that date and a morning arrival.

July 23rd comes and the morning starts to creep by with no delivery call ahead. I check my email. Sitting in my inbox is a message telling me to “please set an appointment” to deliver the microwave. Now I’m getting annoyed, but I call again.

[Representative #2] is much less helpful, giving me the runaround while I just want answers and a microwave, but we finally get another delivery date set for August 10th. Irritated, but happy to just have something set, I hang up and receive another email confirming that appointment.

Then, about an hour later, I get another email telling me to call and schedule an appointment. Now, I’m really frustrated. I call again, and while I’m on hold, the computer guide greets me.

Computer Guide: “Thank you for being an Elite member!”

Me: *Without thinking* “I don’t feel like a f****** Elite member!”

The computer happily replies that it has extended the duration on a $5 coupon I have that has expired. Yay? Sorry for yelling at you, Computer.

Finally, [Representative #3] answers, and I explain to him the whole silly back-and-forth situation and defeatedly ask if there are any stores in a three-hour radius that has this microwave available for pickup, because I just want to move on with my life. He checks and there are actually two available at the store where I originally made my purchase — the one that gave me a receipt with a date of August 8th.

He sets one aside for me and I pick up my last appliance that evening, three days after the original quote date, but weeks before the receipt date, and with no answers as to why any of this confusion happened in the first place.

I’ve never had this sort of issue with this company before, but it’s definitely colored my opinion going forward, at least for anything involving setting an appointment, because their system apparently just likes to delete things and make up dates at random!

Back in March 2020, New Zealand went into its first lockdown. The university had to very quickly take courses that had been taught fully in person with few resources other than lectures and transition them into something that could be provided online, and for the most part, they did a great job under that extreme pressure.

But the rapid transition caused some fun quirks in the system.

We came to the first big exam of one of the most academically challenging courses of the whole degree.

The questions were all in multi-choice format so it could be all marked by computer. And because it was marked by computer, as soon as you finished the exam and your two-hour timer ran out, it immediately automatically showed you your mark, and you could look through the correct answers and see what you did wrong.

Only there was one small problem.

As with paper exams, online exams are set up so you can mark questions you’re unsure of and move on, coming back to them later, so you can manage your exam time by answering the easy things first.

But there had been a glitch.

The back button between the different pages of the exam, for some inexplicable reason, did not work. Once you moved on to the next questions, there was no going back to change or even check what you had answered.

The lecturers were obviously inundated with frantic emails from students.

Student #1: “I wanted to check my answers before I submitted the exam, but I couldn’t go back! And I skipped a couple to go back to, and now I can’t answer them at all!”

Student #2: “I made a point to carefully read all of the questions on the test before I started on them, but I couldn’t go back at all. I was forced to submit an empty exam! Help!”

These students weren’t alone; many had done the same things and met the same issue.

So, what choice did the lecturers have?

They called IT, they fixed the glitch, and they reopened the exam. Instead of us all doing it in the two hours between noon and two pm, now we all had until nine pm to retake it.

Thus, we retook the exam of the most challenging exam in the whole degree… after they had shown us the answers.

Online learning was definitely more of a learning curve for the university than the students.

It is a Saturday afternoon and the shop is empty as it usually is at about 2:00 pm. My assistant manager and coworker are pricing up some delivery items behind the counter and I am standing on the shop floor to greet any customers. An old lady with a walking stick enters the store looking like she just ate a lemon.

Me: “Hi there, ma’am! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I bought this tablet to play games and watch videos and it doesn’t work.”

I’m skeptical because we have a testing process that all of our electrical goods go through.

Me: “All right, I’ll have a look at it and see what I can do.”

She takes an iPad from her bag and presents it to me. I turn it on to find that it hasn’t been set up yet and is at the Choose A Language screen. Thinking she’s just reset it, or a family member has, I start to set it up. I get to the WiFi part of the process and she starts:

Customer: “Ah! What’s that you’re doing?”

Me: “I’m connecting it to the store WiFi.”

Customer: “And will that work when I go home?”

Me: “No, do you have a router at home to connect to WiFi?”

Customer: “Yes! I’m with [Company]! But I was never told I would have to connect it to the Internet.”

Me: *Trying my best to not show any emotion* “Well, you need to connect it to set it up and download these things.”

Customer: “And you’re doing that now?”

Me: “Yes, but this will not work when you get home; you’ll need to connect it there, too.”

She starts stamping her walking stick and foot and yelling.

Customer: “I want a refund!”

I look to my assistant manager, who just looks a little dead inside but brings her over to the till to process her refund. My coworker and I retreat to the back of the store to quietly giggle, masked by her yells of refunds. When we compose ourselves, we return, I step behind the tills to put a piece of litter I found on the floor in the bin, and she gives me a death glare.

Customer: “I shouldn’t be expected to know how these things work!”

Me: “All due respect, ma’am, my aunt and uncles are both in their eighties and can work their computers just fine.”

I didn’t get in trouble, and I am still waiting to hear a complaint from her!

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 41
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 40
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 39
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 38
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 37

I am the customer waiting my turn behind an older woman being helped. The clerk is asking the woman to call and make sure the person has received what was sent. The older woman, however, is getting frustrated and doesn’t understand what is being asked of her.

She turns to me to commiserate and says:

Old Woman: “I can’t stand this newfangled technology!”

The technology in question? A fax.