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Times Have Tik-Tokked Since Then

, , , , | Right | January 17, 2021

It’s Christmastime in the early 2000s and we’re very busy trying to help everyone find their gifts.

Me: “Hello, ma’am, is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “I’ve been to over a dozen bookstores and I can’t find this book for my daughter.”

Me: “We’ll see what we can do. What’s it called?”

Customer: “It’s the Facebook.”

Me: “I’m not familiar with that one. Is it a makeup tutorial or something like that?”

Customer: “I don’t know. She just never stops talking about it and I want to surprise her. I think it has something to do with the Internet.”

Then, it clicked for me that she was talking about the website “Facebook,” and I did my best to explain it to her. She was very embarrassed but she appreciated my honesty. To this day, I don’t understand how so many other stores let her go on trying to find “the Facebook.”

Of Mice And Technologically-Compromised Men

, , , | Right | January 17, 2021

We have an older fellow in his eighties who’s been coming to us for computer service for several years — usually to deal with spyware or for help putting ink in his printer.

This time, he brings in his all-in-one and mouse.

Customer: “The mouse stopped working.”

I test it.

Me: “It just needs batteries.”

Customer: “I didn’t think it needed batteries.”

Since they don’t make fusion-powered mice, I’m not sure how he came to that conclusion, unless someone gave him the mouse with batteries already in it.

Customer: “Also, my Facebook has disappeared.”

I check, and I don’t know what he’s talking about because it is working fine. Maybe the mouse was acting up when he tried to access the web page?

He’s also VERY impatient. He double- or triple-clicks EVERYTHING. When his email page doesn’t load in one second, he keeps clicking on it over and over.

Me: “Please give it a couple of seconds for the page to load.”

His all-in-one is fair at best and doesn’t load pages as quickly as something that has an SSD and more RAM. I usually try to get people to break themselves of that habit, especially if they make purchases online.

A half-hour after he takes the computer home, he calls us.

Customer: “It won’t turn on.”

Me: “Is everything plugged in tight?”

Customer: “Everything is plugged in tight.”

Me: “Do you have a power strip?”

Customer: “I do and it’s turned on.”

I was out of ideas. I sent my tech the next day to check it out. The old guy only lived five minutes away. 

The technician came back after fifteen minutes. As I suspected, it was user error. The old guy had a power strip but only his printer was plugged into it. He never plugged the computer’s power cord into the power strip.

The tech also told me that once the computer was turned on and operational, he was using the mouse upside-down, which is odd because he had been using it the correct way the day before.

I’ll give the guy credit for trying to keep up with technology and being online with Facebook, but man… it gets frustrating working with people sometimes.

Email Fail, Part 29

, , , , | Right | January 13, 2021

A new customer is attempting to get set up for online payments with us and is having difficulty with our systems.

Customer: “I keep getting error messages that don’t make any sense!”

I have several usernames associated with his account, each of them an email address, all of which are variations of his name, like [Customer1]@[website], or [Customer12]@[website].

This conversation takes place via email, from yet a different email address, none of which is one of the ones I already have.

Customer: “I’m not seeing an option to add a payment method when I log into your website.”

Me: “Hmm, that’s odd. Can you tell me what username you’re logging in with?”

Customer: “Mine.”

Me: “Um. Okay. Let me try again. Can you tell me exactly what letters or numbers, in exactly what order, you are typing into the box that says, ‘Username,’ on our site?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s my email address!”

Cue head-desk.

I did finally manage to get him to send me a screenshot of what was happening.

He was using yet again another different email address, not the one he was emailing me from or any of the ones I had on file. This turned out to be associated with a different account altogether. He did eventually make his payment, though!

Related:
Email Fail, Part 28
Email Fail, Part 27
Email Fail, Part 26
Email Fail, Part 25
Email Fail, Part 24

Party Like It’s 1999

, , , | Working | January 11, 2021

I work at a small-town branch of a bank. I often get asked other questions that have nothing to do with banking. One customer asks if I know the number to the local DMV office.

Me: “I don’t, but I can Google it for you.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you! So helpful.”

My boss comes up behind me as I’m typing and hands me the phonebook. I’m in my twenties, and I haven’t seen a phonebook since I was a little kid.

Me: “Um… what’s this for?”

Boss: “I heard you say you needed to look up a phone number. We have a phonebook in the back. Here you go!”

Me: “Actually, I just Googled the number.”

I write the number down for the customer. She thanks me again and leaves.

Boss: “So, you found the number for the DMV on the Internet?”

Me: “Yes. I do it all the time.”

Boss: “But we have a phonebook!”

I examine the phonebook in question.

Me: “This thing is as old as I am.”

Boss: “It still works!”

Me: “So, no one’s number has changed in two and a half decades?”

Boss: “Uh…”

Me: “That’s why I look online. Generally, you’ll find updated information.”

Boss: “But you can use the phonebook.”

Me: “You can use it. I’ll stick to Google.”

Num-Locked Into A Vicious Cycle

, , , , , | Right | January 6, 2021

Me: “IT help line; this is [My Name].”

High-Maintenance User: “Hi, [My Name]. Remember when you did all that work on my computer yesterday? Well, I can’t log in this morning! Did you do something to the network last night?”

IT “doing something to the network last night” is the primary cause of all problems, according to this user.

Me: “Noooo…”

I am already going to unlock the account.

Me: “Let’s get you unlocked here.”

High-Maintenance User: *Frantic typing* “It still won’t let me log in! Did you do something? Let’s just reset my password!”

During this whole time, he is not letting me answer. But if he wants to reset his password, no skin off my nose.

Me: “Okay… the new password is [new password with numbers and letters].”

High-Maintenance User: *Increasingly frantic* “It’s still not working! It’s not… Oh, wait. I had the Number-Lock key off. That’s why I couldn’t log in, to begin with!”

Another satisfied customer… for now.