Sins Of The Father

| | Right | October 27, 2009

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I can’t do that thingy.”

Me: “I’m sorry, What thingy?”

Customer: “Emails. It keeps saying error 421. I never put that number in.”

Me: “That’s an error number. Can you tell me what lights are flashing on the modem?”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a small box with cables running into it. It will have a lot of lights flickering on it.”

Customer: “The box with the blinky lights?”

Me: “Yes, that should be it.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought my son put that in here to annoy me, so I unplugged it!”

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I Once Had A Game This Big

| | Right | October 27, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, may I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Can you tell me if this game will fit on my computer?”

(I look at size of game install from box.)

Me: “Okay, this takes four gigs of hard drive space. How big is your hard drive?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. About this big, I think?” *holds hands about four inches apart*

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Can’t See The Forest For The Airborne Trees

, | | Right | October 23, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [TV Company], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my TV is broken.”

Me: “I’ll be glad to help you today. What is wrong with your TV?”

Customer: “The picture keeps flashing on and off.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Can I have you check the connections on the back of your TV to make sure everything is screwed in tightly?”

Customer: “Well, the lights in my house are flashing on and off too. We’re in a tornado warning. Do you think that has something to do with it?”

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Now I (Don’t) Know My ABCs

| | Right | October 22, 2009

(I am assisting a customer in creating a dialup connection on his computer. We’re up to the part where he enters his password. We’ve entered a few letters, when we come to one that is a bit troublesome.)

Me: “The next letter is ‘T’, as in Tom.”

Customer: “Z?”

Me: “‘T’, as in Tom.”

Customer: “I’m not hearing that letter.”

Me: “It’s a letter ‘T’ as in Thomas.”

Customer: “P?”

Me: “A letter ‘T’, as in Thomas, as in ‘taste’, as in…”

Customer: “I’m still not hearing the letter.”

Me: “Okay, the letter in the alphabet that comes after ‘S’ as in

(Customer pauses for about 5 seconds.)

Customer: “L?”

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Phishing For Answers

| | Right | October 19, 2009

Me: “This is [company name].”

Customer: “Hi, who’s this?”

Me: “Are you calling for tech support?”

Customer: “Oh, I guess it’s the wrong number. Well, what do you guys do?”

Me: “We’re an online virtual conferencing company. We allow you to host meetings online with webcams and slideshows.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s cool, anything else you do, other features?”

Me: “We also have a feature that lets you remotely take control of another person’s computer, or show them your own.”

Customer: “Oh really? That’s pretty awesome. So can you take control of anybody’s computer?”

Me: “Yeah, as long as their system supports the software.”

Customer: “So, can you do it without their permission…like, can you use it to hack into somebody’s computer with it?”

Me: “No, guests must be attending the conference and give permission for this.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m not interested then.” *click*

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