(Screen) Save My Internet

| Oshawa, ON, Canada | Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi my name is [name] from [company] internet tech support how can I help you today?”

Customer: “My internet is down.”

Me: “Alright what happens when you try to browse?”

Customer: “Nothing, the screen goes black every time I leave the computer for a few minutes. And I have to hold down the power button for it to come back but that restarts everything!”

Me: “Okay can you move the mouse?”

Customer: “I tried that it doesn’t work!”

Me: “Try pressing any key on the keyboard.”

Customer: “Okay, the screen isn’t black anymore, but my internet is still down.”

Me: “What does it say?”

Customer: “Owner logged in.”

Me: “Click on owner.”

Customer: “Okay internet is working now.”

Me: “Sir, that was your screen saver.”

Customer: “I don’t know what that is, but thanks for fixing the internet. Bye!”

PEBCAK, Episode IV

| Connecticut, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

(The head of a department wants her word processor upgraded to the latest version.)

Manager: *on phone* “Okay, I’ll send Jeff over to upgrade you. Please back up all your documents, because he’s going to delete the existing version and install the new one.”

(I go to her office.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to upgrade [word processor] for you. Have you backed up your documents?”

Customer: “Of course I have.”

Me: “Great!”

(I wipe out the existing directory and install the new version. A few minutes before I get back to the faculty computing center, the phone rings.)

Customer: on phone “Where are all my letters and papers? They’re all gone!”

Manager: “Jeff says you backed up your documents.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t know what you guys meant by that. I didn’t want to look stupid, so I said yes.”

Related:
PEBCAK, Episode III
PEBCAK, Episode II
Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

Tech Support Is Rendered Fruitless

| Minnesota, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

Customer: “My computer has fruit in it!”

Me: “Like what?”

Customer: “Every time I turn my computer on, it has a fruit in it.”

Me: “You mean an apple?”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess.”

Me: “That means you have that brand of computer. Do you need anything else, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really like apples. Can I get a cantaloupe on it instead?”