Just Wait Until They Discover Palindromes

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Me: “Okay, we now need to log into your modem. It should ask for login details.”

Customer: “What are they?”

Me: “Admin and admin are the username and password.”

Customer: “Are the passwords in that order?”

Me: “Umm. Sure, go for it.”

Customer: “Ok, I’d hate to have gotten them mixed up!”

Amen, Part 2

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Caller: “I’m not happy with the website.”

Me: “Why?”

Caller: “It’s not reporting my usage correctly.”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that. Is it saying you have used more than you think you have?”

Caller: “No, it’s saying I have not used any.”

Me: “Oh, that means we were accidentally giving it to you for free. Thanks for telling me!”

Caller: “Crap! I should learn not to complain!”

Related:
Amen

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Soggy Software

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(This call came in shortly after Hurricane Katrina.)

Customer: “My computer isn’t working.”

Me: “It’s not working, or your service isn’t working?”

Customer: “My computer itself will not turn on.”

Me: “Well, since it’s not a service-related problem, I can’t really help you with fixing it. When was the last time it worked?”

Customer: “Well, we had to evacuate for a few days, and then we came back to clean up. I fished the computer out of the swimming pool and let it dry out, then got it hooked back up.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not gonna work.”

Close Encounters Of The Dumb Kind

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Me: “Thank you for calling **** support.”

Customer: “Um…I don’t think you’re going to believe this….”

Me: “What seems to be the issue today?”

Customer: “I think my computer was abducted!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I went to bed last night and my computer was on my dining room table. I woke up this morning late for work and rushed out the door. As I backed out of the driveway, I heard a crunch, and I figured it was a trash can or something.”

Me: “…OK. And what does this have to do with your computer, sir?”

Customer: “Well, when I checked it out it was my computer under the back tire. But I swear that it was still inside the house when I went to bed last night!”

Me: “OK sir, unfortunately your warranty does not cover extraterrestrial damage, so any repairs to the computer will have to be paid with a credit card.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I don’t want it fixed! I just wanted to let you know that your computers attract aliens. My insurance company already replaced it. I’m just waiting for it to arrive now.” *click*

There’s Always Time To Complain

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(I overheard my coworker take this call…)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling **** tech support, how can I help you?”

Caller: “I don’t have time to get into it right now! It’s not working, I’ll call back later!”

Coworker: “Okay… thank you for calling!”

Related:
I Just Called To Say I Hate You

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