Microsoft is well known for Patch Tuesday; on the second Tuesday of the month, they push out patches and updates. They push out some patches and updates like clockwork, and upon coming to work on the following Wednesday, my computer is off because it didn’t reboot to apply the patches.

I power on my computer, and after about five minutes, my computer is back up and on the desktop. I open the programs I need to use and go about my workday. Nothing is out of the ordinary, but that is soon to change.

I print up some paperwork for an order. No issues. I print up paperwork for another order. No issues. I print up paperwork for a third order. An error pops up about the print spooler failing. Okay, that’s odd, but it’s happened before.

I open services.msc and restart the print spooler. The print spooler service stops, but it doesn’t restart; it just hangs there for about five minutes until I get impatient and I restart the computer.

The computer is now back up and running and I’m working on printing off paperwork. The first order prints up fine, but the second order doesn’t print. I restart the print spooler service and try to print again, but nothing happens. I restart the computer again and go through the same process of having constant printer failures. The only way to successfully print is to reboot the computer, and if I’m really lucky, I can get three print jobs done, but usually only two, before the printing fails and I have to reboot the computer.

I don’t change anything hardware-wise on my system. Just to make sure the printer isn’t the issue, I power-cycle it, and I also swap out printer cables from the printer to my computer. This does not fix the issue.

The next logical step in the troubleshooting process is to see what changed, and I know a Windows update went through, so I check to see how many updates were installed. I find that one update was installed. I check out the update online and see that people are reporting printer issues like I’m having. Okay, no problem. I’ll just remove the update… or so I think.

Apparently, the IT guy has had some people installing and uninstalling programs, so he’s locked everyone out of being able to install or remove programs. I now need him to access my computer to uninstall the update.

I shoot him an email, and about thirty minutes later, I get a response from him saying he’s on vacation (right now it is Wednesday) and he won’t be back until Monday and he has no way to access my computer. I ask him for the username and password so I can uninstall the update, and he won’t give it to me.

For three days, I struggle to do my work. I also find out that one of the owner’s daughters is struggling with printer issues because of the update. She is pissed. I tell her what the problem is and what the solution would be, but the IT guy is out of town and no one else has the username or password to bypass the UAC to uninstall the Windows update.

Monday finally comes around and the IT guy shows up at around 8:30 — a full two hours after I get into work — and I tell him the update needs to be removed. I tell him the update is the ONLY change that happened and removing it would resolve the printer issue for me and anyone else is having at work.

IT Guy: “It’s a security update and it wouldn’t be causing the printer problem. Otherwise, all other computers on the network would be having the same problem.”

He refuses to remove the update.

I sit off to the side for over four hours, doing nothing, while he screws around with removing printer drivers and reinstalling them with no success. He tries using different printers with no success. He screws around for a long time in system settings and printer settings with no success. Finally, after four grueling hours of doing not a dang thing, he finally decides he will listen to me, and he uninstalls the Windows update from last week. Once the update is removed and the system is restarted, all printing issues are gone.

Me: “You’ll need to make sure that that update doesn’t get installed again. You need to set up the server to decline that update.”

IT Guy: “I don’t know how to do that. We’ll just see how things go. Let me know if the issue comes back.”

I come in on Tuesday morning and my computer is off. What the heck? I power it on and find out that Windows installed the stupid update again. I try things out first, but the printer problem is back.

I email the IT guy and tell him the issue is back with the update. He has to uninstall the update again to get the printer problem to go away.

IT Guy: “I don’t know how to keep that update from installing.”

Me: *Internally screaming* “I’ll get you the info you need.”

I find the program that Microsoft designed to block updates from installing that you don’t want. I pass along the official link to Microsoft so the IT guy can download the program, and I tell him that he needs to use it to block that update from downloading and installing again. This is what I’m told when he calls my phone.

IT Guy: “I’m not comfortable using that kind of program. How do I know it’s legit and won’t cause any other issues?”

I’m literally banging my head on my desk.

Me: “It is a program designed and distributed by Microsoft to specifically allow people to block certain updates from downloading and installing. Just follow the instructions and please prevent this update from installing again.”

IT Guy: “I guess, but I still don’t know if this is okay.”

The IT guy finally ran the program and blocked the update from running and installing again. My head hurts just thinking about this issue again and how stupid the IT guy is at my company.

I work in IT for a bank. We are a comparatively small bank; we only have a handful of branches throughout the Pacific Northwest. We are mainly phone support, and while we do onsite support, it is usually equipment setup for new locations or occasionally cabling issues. As a rule, though, the users usually have to help out a bit.

One night, one of our techs gets a call and through his troubleshooting comes to realize that the teller just needs to plug the device into a different USB port. Simple, right? Apparently not.

I only hear his side of the conversation at the time, but he relates everything to us afterward.

Tech: “You’ll need to plug the sig pad into a different port. There should be one available on the front of the computer that you can use.”

User: “Can you send someone out to do this?”

We were based in Seattle, Washington. This branch is in southern Oregon and it is about 3:45 on a Friday.

Tech: “I can try, but we don’t usually send someone out for something like this. And it would be Monday or Tuesday at the earliest before they can get down there.”

User: “Well, what am I supposed to do? I’m eight months pregnant! I can’t be crawling all over that floor! You need to send someone out to do this now!”

Tech: “Is there someone else in the branch who can help you? Like I said, I can see if we can get someone, but it’s going to be next week before they’re down there.”

User: “I’m eight months pregnant! You need to send someone out now!”

Tech: “Look, it’s 3:45 on a Friday. We’re all closed on the weekend, and honestly, I don’t think my manager is going to approve the mileage for someone to come out just to swap that port. Is there someone else who can help you out currently?”

User: “Ugh. Fine!” *Muffles phone* “[Coworker]! I need help!”

She got someone over and they were able to swap the port easily. Guess what? Her issue was resolved! The tech understood her not wanting to get on the floor, but really, how is us driving down there going to be easier than asking a coworker to help? And in the time it took her to try and force the visit, she could have swapped it about fifteen times.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name], and you’ve gotten through to the tech support team. How can I help today?”

Customer: “I hope you can. You see… my phone, it’s stopped ringing. I don’t know what’s happened.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll do my best to help you get it going again. Now, we’ll start with the easy stuff and go down the list, okay?”

Customer: “Oh, I hope it’s not something stupid…”

Me: *Encouraging* “Let’s test first to make sure the phone is making sounds at all. Let’s open the settings and run the ringer test.

The phone fails this test.

Me: “It’s okay, that tells me that we should be able to use that to test if any of our changes work! The first thing I’d like you to check is for a switch on the side. Do you see a switch on any of the edges?”

Customer: *Quiet for a moment* “Yes, I do, it’s just above the volume buttons.”

Me: “That’d be it! Is it showing any orange, or the same colour as the rest of your phone?”

Customer: “It’s showing orange.”

Me: “That’s a good sign. Okay, if you switch it, does it hide the orange?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Perfect. I’d love for you to test the ringer now through the settings like we did a moment ago.”

I hear the ringer as she does this, and the customer practically bursts into tears.

Customer: “Oh, no, it was so simple! You must think I’m an absolute idiot!”

Me: “No! No, you’re not an idiot! There are tons of buttons and switches on everything. You didn’t know what that one did, and now you do! I know that’s why I’m here! I’m glad I was able to find the ‘fix’ so quickly! So, this switch the silent mode for your phone. Now that you know it, you should be able to see a little icon on the screen. Go ahead! Try it with me now!”

The customer settles some and starts getting the giggles as she deliberately turns the silencer on and off.

Customer: “Oh, yes, I think I see it now.”

Me: *Practically beaming as I hear that tone* “That’s it! Now you’ll know if you’ve ever done it on purpose, and you know where that switch is for next time. For now, though, can I help with anything else?”

Customer: “No. That was perfect, thank you.”

I had a stupid smile on my day for the rest of the shift. I live for calls like that. I don’t care if you’re asking me where the power button is; I like making people feel in control of their tech!

I love my job, I really do, but it’s always hard when you get above a certain level of “how did it get this far”. I’m a senior advisor, meaning that, in certain cases, I have additional steps I’m authorised to take and different setups I can enable, and I can sometimes make tickets for the engineering team. For those kinds of cases, I will have to “take over” the case and put a senior flag on it so it stays with us. It’s rare a call gets put through to me for mundane things.

I had a call months back that had multiple things that happened, but one section of it required a follow-up because I needed to check that I had all the right details with another group that didn’t work on weekends. So, for that part alone, I put a senior stamp on it, arranged a callback, and went about my business.

Once the other team was back in, I quickly found out that the information I had provided, a mix of stated documentation and a little common sense, was absolutely correct, so when the call back to the customer failed, I sent a message to say that I had tried to call and got no answer but the information I’d provided was correct so she could use that at her leisure.

A few days after that, I got a message demanding I call the customer urgently. I tried but got nothing but voicemail again. After the second time it happened with the same result, no more messages came in. I forgot about it, thinking she had followed my advice about calling in herself or had accepted what I’d told her.

Two months later, out of the blue, a new email showed up.

Customer: “Call me. Urgent.”

If you’ve ever worked in an inbound call centre, you will know that there is no such thing as “quiet time”. These emails came in right in the middle of other calls, with no way to drop everything to call right away anyhow. Since it had been such a long time, the matter we’d dealt with had been considered closed, so I sent back a message.

Me: “If this is about the same matter, click here. If this is a new matter, click here.”

I gave no other response, just a tester into the water to see if she would act on that information.

Nope, the week after, another email:

Customer: “Call me! Urgent!”

I sent the same response.

The third week:

Customer: “I can’t seem to get through to you. You need to call me back; it’s urgent!”

I send a little more blunt email.

Me: “Is this about the same issue or a new one?”

I got a prompt reply that it’s about the same issue.

I made a time to call, and I finally got the customer back on the phone. I started by laying out the facts from last time, reiterating the information I’d given. She interrupted.

Customer: “That’s not what I want to talk about!”

I found the new issue. It had some relation, so I informed her that I would try and answer those questions since they had bearing on our previous conversation, but that she really should have put these questions to the person who set up the new issue. I was able to answer most of them, though one was a “we have to wait and see because it needs to be examined” answer that, as a phone-based supporter, I literally would not be able to tell.

Then, the customer asked that I pick up a case and follow through with setting up a repair for something. Not now, of course; she wanted to do this in a few weeks. She honestly expected me to sit back and play this game with her again.

I had to stare at the phone for a few moments before trying to explain that, while I had made this case to help her on the last call nearly three months ago now, it wasn’t a senior case. I was not going to wait for her to be ready and follow her demands to call her back whenever she wanted. She spent five minutes trying to demand that it was my problem because I made a case number for it, and I countered with the fact that I was a senior and I only called back for cases that required senior attention, like the case I had been attempting to follow up on that she assured me was still the issue. I was there to take calls, not make them!

I absolutely swear that customer was convinced that I was now their personal IT support for every question they had. They started asking about new devices and new issues, and in response to each one, I would go, “You need to call back for that.” She’d say, “But I’m on the phone with you now!” Yes, because you lied.

Eventually, I was able to disconnect and thankfully, I had a break. I realised I had just spent fifty minutes on what would have been five minutes at the time of setup.

Next time, I’ll ask what specifically is happening with the original problem in the email… just to see if she even remembers why I took that side of the call in the first place. I sadly do suspect there is going to be a next time.

I am the admin of a program that only a small set of people use in our company. It gives limited information but it’s needed for certain reports. I am the only one that provides usernames and passwords.

I get a request to create a new username and password for a senior VP, which I do. I send it off with very specific instructions as the program will not work unless you follow them. You must reset your temporary password in the program website before you can open the program to start using it. If you open the program first, the cache gets messed up and I have to reset them again.

I get an email the next day that the VP can’t get into the program to reset him. I send out a second template email, explaining that YOU MUST FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS and reset in the website.

The following day, I get another email that the VP can’t get in. I have a third template that has big, giant, bold letters with highlight saying to read the email, do not pass go, do not collect $200, (with corny pictures). Do this before you open the program. Most find the email funny and that’s the end of it.

The next day, the VP’s admin calls me and states that I’m doing something wrong and her boss still can’t get in. I let her know I will delete the account and recreate it. I tell her to look for a new email which I will copy her on so she can help.

I send the first email again and update the temp password to “ReadTheEntireEmail[VP]”.

I don’t get any more emails, but I do get a chocolate bar delivered to my desk with a note, “I read the email, [VP].”