Flip It, Crush It, Then Reverse It

| Boise, ID, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [tech support]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to return this phone. I don’t use it.”

Me: “Okay. I see you are still under your buyer’s remorse period and–”

Customer: “Yes, take it back.”

Me: “So, you have the original packaging and the receipt?”

Customer: *proudly* “Yes!”

Me: “Great, and is there any damage to the phone?”

Customer: “I ran over it with my car.”

Me: “Well, then. Unfortunately, ma’am, we can’t take it back.”

Customer: *irate* “But it’s still within the first 30 days!”

I’m Falling (And Calling) To Pieces

| Saskatoon, Canada | Technology

Me: “Thanks for calling. How can I help you?”

(I hear a loud banging noise over the phone.)

Caller: “Sorry, I dropped my phone.”

(More banging.)

Caller: “Oh, no! I dropped my remote. Hold on.”

(A few minutes later…)

Caller: “I got my remote now.”

(More banging.)

Caller: “My batteries just fell out.”

(More banging.)

Caller: “Are you still there? I dropped my phone.” *call drops*

Invasion Of The HTML Body Snatchers

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(I am in my office when a user comes running to my door.)

User: “Help! Help! Help!”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

User: “Yahoo took over my Firefox!”

Me: “Wait. What? Yahoo did what?”

User: “Yahoo. It took over my Firefox! Come look!”

(We go to her desk and I sit down and launch her Firefox browser.)

User: “See! No more Firefox! It’s Yahoo.”

Me: “You still have Firefox. You just accidentally made Yahoo your homepage.”

User: “Please, just fix it!”