I’m Falling (And Calling) To Pieces

| Saskatoon, Canada | Technology

Me: “Thanks for calling. How can I help you?”

(I hear a loud banging noise over the phone.)

Caller: “Sorry, I dropped my phone.”

(More banging.)

Caller: “Oh, no! I dropped my remote. Hold on.”

(A few minutes later…)

Caller: “I got my remote now.”

(More banging.)

Caller: “My batteries just fell out.”

(More banging.)

Caller: “Are you still there? I dropped my phone.” *call drops*

Invasion Of The HTML Body Snatchers

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(I am in my office when a user comes running to my door.)

User: “Help! Help! Help!”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

User: “Yahoo took over my Firefox!”

Me: “Wait. What? Yahoo did what?”

User: “Yahoo. It took over my Firefox! Come look!”

(We go to her desk and I sit down and launch her Firefox browser.)

User: “See! No more Firefox! It’s Yahoo.”

Me: “You still have Firefox. You just accidentally made Yahoo your homepage.”

User: “Please, just fix it!”

With Great Encyclopedic Knowledge, Comes Great Encyclopedic Power

| Liverpool, UK | Top

(Back when they were common technology, we sent out a software update on four floppy disks.)

Customer: “The computer says it’s unable to read disk two.”

Me: “Can we start the installation again just to check it is the disk that is the problem, please? Put the disk in the drive and type ‘a:update’. Then, press enter.

Customer: “Okay. It says it’s unable to read disk one now.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Did you try that with disk one or two?”

Customer: “Both.”

Me: “No, sorry. Just then, not earlier. Was the disk in the drive disk one, or two?”

Customer: “Both. Both disks are in the drive. Why? Was I supposed to take the first one out before putting the second one in? It didn’t say to do so, just to insert disk 2.”

Me: “You’ve got two disks in the drive at the same time? That must’ve been difficult to manage.”

Customer: “Not when you hit the second one with an encyclopedia.”