Still In The Digital Dark Ages

| Missouri, USA | Technology

Me: “Thanks for calling [ISP]. I’m [name], how can I help you?”

Customer: “There’s no light in my castle!”

Me: *confused* “Uh…tell me a little more about the problem. Can you reach any websites?”

Customer: “No! How can I get to a website with no light in my castle?!”

Me: *still confused* “Could you explain…a little further?”

Customer: *becoming irate* “I’ve poked its belly button a bunch of times, but there’s no light in my castle!”

Me: *epiphany* “Oh! The power light on your desktop tower is not lit?”

Customer: “Tower, castle, whatever! How am I supposed to know all this technical stuff?!”

It’ll Click Eventually

| England, UK | Technology

Me: “Welcome to the IT service desk. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m trying to click on the power button, but for some reason it’s not working.”

Me: “The power button?”

Customer: “Yeah, you know, the one on the bottom right of the screen, with the green light? I’d have thought the help desk would know what a power button is.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid you don’t actually click on the power button. It’s a physical object and needs to be pressed with your finger.”

Customer: *slight pause* “I don’t get it. I’ll go back and try again…”

Ph.Duh

| Nebraska, USA | Technology

(Note: I’m doing tech support for a college professor.)

Me: “Can I have you look at the lights on the modem?”

Professor: “Yep, looking now.”

(There’s a lengthy pause while I wait for him to look. After he doesn’t say anything for awhile, I decide to ask.)

Me: “So, what are they doing?”

Professor: “Oh! Let me go look…”

(This goes on for another 15 minutes, where he doesn’t answer a single question I ask. I eventually manage to get him to plug a ethernet cable in, but it is still saying a cable is unplugged. He still will not not listen to me and goes on doing his own thing. Five minutes later…)

Me: “What port is the ethernet cable plugged into?”

Professor: “The only one it goes into.”

Me: “And what is the other end plugged into?”

Professor: “The computer…”

Me: “And the other end?”

Professor: “Well, it’s not plugged into anything.”

(I try to keep my calm, despite being exasperated.)

Me: “Can you plug that into the modem please?”

Professor: “Well, now it works. So what did we do?”

Me: “We plugged it in…”