Desktop, Deskside, and Desk-Under Support

| USA | Working | January 12, 2014

(An IT person is crouched under my coworker’s desk to check the network cable connections, which my coworker obviously doesn’t expect to see upon her return from lunch.)

Coworker: “Oh, my god! There’s a BUTT under my desk!”

Taxing Faxing, Part 11

| OK, USA | Right | January 8, 2014

(A customer calls into my place of employment asking a question about her laser printer.)

Customer: “Hello. I need to know what my fax number is.”

Me: “Fax numbers are issued by your phone company. You would need to contact them to find out the number.”

Customer: “What? You mean they don’t come through the air?”

Me: “No, ma’am. They do not come through the air.”


A Solution To Put You At A Net Loss

| London, England, UK | Working | December 24, 2013

(Our internet hasn’t been working properly for the past two days. My mum rings up the tech support.)

Mum: “Our internet isn’t connecting. We’ve already tried restarting it.”

Tech Support: “Okay. Have you looked at the online help?”

Mum: “Um… no.”

Tech Support: “Next time you should. Often that solves the problem.”

Mum: “I would, but since the problem is that my internet isn’t working, that might not help.”

Tech Support: “Oh…” *awkward silence*

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Must Have That New Biohazard

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Working | December 16, 2013

Coworker #1: “Did he say why he called in sick?

Coworker #2: “He hasn’t beaten his video game yet.”

Me: “I heard that’s been going around.”

Quick To Find Fault With Being Quick To Finding Fault

| Manchester, England, UK | Right | December 13, 2013

Me: “Hello. IT Help Desk. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Caller: “Yes. I logged a job the other day. It’s been resolved already, so I’d just like to close it.”

(I proceed to take the reference number. I load the job up, thinking this will be a quick and easy call.)

Me: “Okay. That’s all sorted for you. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Caller: “Yes. I’d just like to ask. When I phoned the other day and logged this fault, someone came and fixed it five minutes later.”

Me: “Well I’m… glad to hear that?”

Caller: “No, but—why, when I wasted all that time trying to get through to you, did no one tell me it had already been logged?”

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we have a dozen staff taking hundreds of calls from thousands of users. If you tell us there’s a fault to log we can only take your word for it.”

(This clearly wasn’t the right answer. The user gets more and more agitated.)

Caller: “Yes, but, don’t you keep track of these things? Can’t you keep track of all these jobs? Why couldn’t someone have told me?”

Me: “Ma’am, if you’d told us you didn’t know whether or not it was logged, we could’ve investigated. We could have spent time trying to ascertain if a call had already been made to us regarding the issue. We certainly couldn’t do that as a routine matter for every call we receive.”

Caller: “I just don’t understand why the person I spoke to didn’t know! My time is very valuable. I’m a very busy person. I wasted a lot of time on that call!”

(This goes back and forth for a while. We’re reaching the 10 minute mark.)

Me: “I can only apologise again that we were unaware your fault had already been logged before you called. However, with all due respect, you didn’t know either. It is your printer. Also, even if we had told you, your complaint was about the length of time it took you to get through. It was time you would’ve wasted whether or not we logged your duplicate call. Finally, ma’am, your complaint is that you wasted your valuable time speaking to IT unnecessarily. Yet you’ve been going around in circles about this with me for 10 minutes now. I’m sorry, but I don’t know how else to answer your question. I am happy to hear that we were able to resolve your issue so quickly, though.”

Caller: *click*

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