So Call Me Maybe

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid

Me: “Thank you for calling sales and support! This is [name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I received this letter telling me to call you.”

Me: “I’d be happy to help. Can you tell me what the letter states?”

Caller: “For 24/7 customer service, call [number].”

Me: “Okay, sir, did you need any assistance with your account?”

Caller: “No, the account is fine. This letter says to call.”

Me: “What you read to me indicates that you should call our number should you need customer service. Did you need any help today sir?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

Ph.Duh, Part 2

, | Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

(I work at the college IT department. One day, I get a phone call from a professor.)

Me: “Thank you for calling the help desk. How may we help you?”

Professor: “My computer is making a beeping sound. I can’t get it to stop. Can you send someone to fix it?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be right over.”

(I arrive at the professor’s office.)

Professor: “I don’t understand why it is doing this. It has never done this before.”

(I notice a rather large book on top of his keyboard.)

Me: “Sir, you can’t leave objects on top of your keyboard. That is what causes the beeping.”

(I remove the book.)

Professor: *embarrassed* “Oh.”

(This professor is the department chair of the Computer Science division of the college. He has a Ph.D in Computer Science.)

Related:
Ph.Duh

Talladega Springs To Mind

, | USA | Geography

Customer: “Do I have signal where I live?”

Me: “I would be happy to check for you. What is your city and state?”

Customer: “I live in Alamb-ma.”

Me: “What is the zip code where you live in Alabama?”

Customer: *gives me a zip code*

Me: “That zip code is a Georgia location. You wanted coverage for Alabama, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t know the zip code, so I made one up.”

Me: “That’s fine. Let’s try searching by city name instead.”

Customer: “It begins with T-A-L-L…but…I don’t know the letters after that.”

Me: “Why don’t I just pull up the map for the entire state for you…”