As Clear As Muddy

, | Pennsylvania, USA | Language & Words, Technology

(I’ve just started on the floor for customer service for a cable company. A customer calls in saying his TV is “muddy”.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, I’m not understanding what is wrong with your TV. Is it pixelated, blue, or fuzzy?”

Customer: “No, it’s muddy.”

(After a few minutes of trying to figure out exactly what he meant by muddy.)

Me: “Sir…do you have mud on your TV?”

Customer: “D*** it! I said it’s muddy. M-U-T-E…MUDDY!”

Me: “Sir, do you see a muddy button on your remote?

Customer: “Yes. ”

Me: “Press the button.”

Customer: “That fixed it. Thank you so much!”

So Call Me Maybe

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid

Me: “Thank you for calling sales and support! This is [name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I received this letter telling me to call you.”

Me: “I’d be happy to help. Can you tell me what the letter states?”

Caller: “For 24/7 customer service, call [number].”

Me: “Okay, sir, did you need any assistance with your account?”

Caller: “No, the account is fine. This letter says to call.”

Me: “What you read to me indicates that you should call our number should you need customer service. Did you need any help today sir?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

Ph.Duh, Part 2

, | Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

(I work at the college IT department. One day, I get a phone call from a professor.)

Me: “Thank you for calling the help desk. How may we help you?”

Professor: “My computer is making a beeping sound. I can’t get it to stop. Can you send someone to fix it?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be right over.”

(I arrive at the professor’s office.)

Professor: “I don’t understand why it is doing this. It has never done this before.”

(I notice a rather large book on top of his keyboard.)

Me: “Sir, you can’t leave objects on top of your keyboard. That is what causes the beeping.”

(I remove the book.)

Professor: *embarrassed* “Oh.”

(This professor is the department chair of the Computer Science division of the college. He has a Ph.D in Computer Science.)

Related:
Ph.Duh