I worked as a tech support for a global insurance company. Our old manager retired. He was a cool guy, not a micromanager. We got this new one who was, right away, very confrontational. He was a “my way or the highway” kind of guy, even when we explained the bureaucracy of our company and processes. For whatever reason, he had it in for me; he went as far as making comments in front of everybody about replacing me.

At one of our employee review meetings, he said he was getting complaints of me “not smiling enough”, which I found very odd because I consider myself a likable person and I’m always joking with other users and employees, which I’ve found helps with the job.

He even went as far as to show me how to smile.

I proceeded to give out the most forced, creepy smile humanly possible every time I interacted with a user, every single time. People asked me what was wrong, and I always answered, “Following an employee review, I was instructed to smile more, so I’m smiling.”

I was doing this for a couple of days and after an interaction providing support for Human Resources, with the smile and the explanation, I went back to my desk.

A couple of minutes later, I saw the HR lady go to my boss’s office. They were there for like half an hour. After she left, my boss called me in.

Boss: “You don’t have to smile anymore.”

Me: *Sarcastically* “Aww, do I really have to stop?”

He just looked at me for a moment.

Boss: “That’s all.”

He left like a year later. No one, not even the other managers, liked him.

I work remote IT for a medical facility, which is a very high-paced environment. It can be rough some days, but generally, after I ask a few questions, I can do the troubleshooting I need to fix the issue. If not, I can send the case to a team onsite to get the issue resolved.

I got a call today that started out like this.

Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I assist you today?”

Caller: “The CPU was stolen!”

Stealing a CPU for one of these computers requires a lot of time and a lot of work because most of the computers in this location are locked in cages.

Me: “All right, do you see any dented metal or screws lying on the floor?”

Caller: “No. Why would that stuff be there?”

Me: “If a CPU was stolen they we need to unscrew the cage, the case, the fan mount, and potentially the CPU mount.”

Caller: “Well, the HDD (hard disk drive) is saying it’s corrupted!”

Me: “Okay, so is the CPU intact?”

Caller: “No, I’m telling you that the HDD is corrupted! Do you even work with computers?”

Me: “Uh… Okay, can you read off the error that the HDD is giving you?”

Caller: “‘Entering power sleep mode,’ and I can’t get it to show anything else.”

Yeah, so the CPU being stolen… I have no idea what that means. This “HDD” error just means that the computer isn’t getting a video signal. I document what actually is going on and get back to the call.

Me: “Okay, so, from the sounds of the error on the screen, it may be that the cable is loose or bad. Could you please check the cables for me?”

Caller: “Pfft, no, the CPU was stolen, and I already checked the cables!”

Me: “Could you try turning the computer on for me to check to see if any lights pop up?”

Caller: “No, I’m telling you…”

There’s a bit of a scuffle and some random worker comes on the phone.

Worker: “The CPU was stolen, and we need a tech up here to fix it.”

I try to do the same troubleshooting steps to maybe confirm that it is an issue with a cable or it’s not plugged in, but…

Worker: “Look here. I know more about computers than you do, and when I say that the CPU was stolen, I know it, and on top of that, our HDD is saying it’s corrupt!”

I mute myself, sigh, and smack my head.

Me: “Okay, I’ll send a tech over to take a look at it.”

Worker: “There, was that so hard?!” *Click*

Sometimes the only way to win is to lose. I checked back on the case a little bit ago and saw the solution the techs gave.

Techs: “Went to site, turned on computer.”

I work in IT for a large company in the financial industry that has several divisions. It also has quite a few detached agents that don’t technically work for us but sell our services. I don’t know what it is, but almost universally, they seem to believe they are God’s gift to the company and are very rude and impatient.

I get a call from an agent one evening because he can’t log into his laptop. This is a common occurrence and is usually just a simple matter of unlocking their account. This time is different, though. He has forgotten his password completely, so there is a whole long process to go through with lots of steps. He’s overall not the worst so far, but I can tell he’s getting impatient.

I have him restart his computer, and then the REAL issue reveals itself, which turns out to be an entirely different login than what he originally said it was. When I realize this, I tell him we’ll have to do a different process, and he drops this classy line.

Agent: “Can I just talk to someone who knows what the f*** they’re doing?”

Me: “[Agent], I’d just like to remind you that these calls are all recorded. If you continue to speak to me that way, I’ll end the call.”

Of course, he doesn’t apologize, but he does sort of huff dismissively. We finally get to the point where I’m telling him his new temporary password, which has a dollar sign in it, and he suddenly has no idea how to type that. I’m surprised that he, someone who allegedly uses a computer every day for his job in the FINANCIAL industry, doesn’t know how to type a dollar sign, but I tell him it’s SHIFT + 4.

Agent: “Well, okay, because there’s more than one dollar sign on a keyboard.”

I got him signed in and squared away and hung up.

Then, I closely studied my own keyboard to make sure I wasn’t the stupid one because, on a standard English US keyboard, there is definitely only ONE dollar sign.

This story is from the late 1990s. Internet Service Providers (ISPs) were just becoming popular. In addition to your national ISP, there were regional and local ISPs. They all sent out a disk to load the software onto your computer so you could dial in using a modem.

I had just started to work for a regional ISP as tier one — the first point of contact — tech support. When anyone called in, they got me — or one of the other 100 people employed at my level.

One day, I got a call.

Caller: “I have your disc and a modem. How do I get online?”

Me: “Put the disk into the CD drive and follow the instructions on the screen.”

Caller: “What’s a CD drive?”

After several minutes of this and explaining how to find the CD drive, I slowly came to the realization that the customer didn’t actually have a computer. This is not what surprised me. What did surprise me is that he had a modem and knew he needed it to get online.

Me: “How did you get the modem?”

Caller: “I went into the local computer store, I told them I’d gotten this disk in the mail and I wanted to get online, and I asked what I needed. And the sales associate there said I needed a modem, so he sold me a modem.”

Me: “Did they ask what type of computer you have?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Do you have a computer?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Well, to use our CD, you have to have a computer with a CD drive so it can read the CD, and the computer will then use the modem and our software from the CD to dial into our server to get you onto the Internet. Do you still have all the packaging for the modem?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Pack it back up go to the store to return it, leave, and then go to one of their competitors and tell them you need a computer that can get you online.”

I further explained that he’d need a computer, desktop or tower, and a monitor and that a good computer would have an internal modem, so he wouldn’t need to buy an external modem and it’d come with a keyboard and mouse. The customer was annoyed that he couldn’t get online at that moment but was appreciative that I took the time to explain what he needed.

It’s been long enough that I don’t remember for sure if he ended up calling back to get set up, but I do know that a few days later when I went in and checked, he did have an account set up, associated with the number he had called in on.

I had issues with [Phone Provider] after moving house which culminated in replacing much of our ten-year-old home equipment with upgraded versions. The issue was escalated to a case manager who provided close to $1,000 in credits once resolved.

Once the bill is issued, I try to view it to work out whether I need to pay anything this month, but I can’t see it on the app or a browser.

I contact tech support and they have me do the usual troubleshooting: uninstall the app and reinstall it. (That doesn’t explain the browser issues, but okay.) After several different steps, they escalate it to their IT team.

After ten days and still no action, the person I dealt with suggests raising a complaint to have a case manager assigned — it worked last time? — so we do.

The case manager is pleasant enough and contacts me several times over a period of weeks, each time to let me know there isn’t an update but that he will follow up with the tech team.

Twenty-five days in, the case manager calls me and tries the same troubleshooting steps we did on day one. (I’ve been doing this regularly just to check.)

I mention that we’ve uninstalled the app a couple of times already and ask how to do another step on my phone. (It turns out it’s a PC step, not meant for phone troubleshooting.)

Case Manager: “You’re smart; you figure it out.”

After several rounds of him giving a similar attitude, I reluctantly ask for his manager.

Case Manager: “You can call the ombudsman. I will not connect you with a supervisor.”

Me: “Can I have the number for the ombudsman, then?”

Case Manager: “You’re smart; figure it out.”

So I did.

Lodging a complaint with the ombudsman took less than five minutes, and they assured me someone would call soon.

A day later, someone did. They apologised for the experience and asked me to try logging in online and tell them if I could see my services. I explained that I could see my services, and it was only when I tried to view my bill that the services disappeared.

The employee immediately figured out the issue and checked my profile to see that my account had been linked to another account with no services or billing and all online services were showing me the other account, which is why I couldn’t see my bill. She showed me how to change the account and I could again see my bill!

From beginning to end, this person listened to my issue, confirmed what had been tried, and walked me through trying other steps. The entire call lasted less than twenty minutes, and after twenty-six days, the issue was resolved by a non-tech person — meaning this could have been resolved on day one if the original person had taken a little more time to understand the issue.

She finished up by saying they’d go back and listen to the call from the day prior, and she applied another $200 credit to my bill!