Cannot Save This Situation

, | Chico, CA, USA | Learning | July 25, 2013

(I work in our university’s IT department, which also maintains three computer labs on campus of which two are in the library. All of our lab computers use software known as ‘Deep Freeze’ which, upon re-start, completely resets a computer’s settings, registry, and wipes saved data. The background of every machine, and various signs, tell users to ‘Save often!’. A young student approaches the lab help desk.)

Student: “I was upstairs working on my paper for the last six hours, and now it’s gone!”

Me: “Which station are you working at?”

Student: “One on the 4th floor.”

(I follow her to our 4th floor lab, and we head to her station.)

Me: “So, describe what happened.”

Student: “I was working on my paper and needed to go to the bathroom. When I came back the screen was dark, so I held the button down.”

(The student points to the CPU’s power button.)

Me: “Did you save your work to a flash drive, or e-mail it to yourself?”

Student: “No. Why? I should have to do that!”

(I explain Deep Freeze to her, show her the desktop background warnings, and the signs we have around the lab.)

Student: “I shouldn’t be expected to read! Get my paper back!”

Me: “There’s one thing left to try, but I doubt it will work.”

(I open the word processor, and attempt to access the auto-recovery section, which is blank as I knew it would be.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but your paper is gone. Are you sure you didn’t save it to a drive or online document storage?”

Student: “No! I don’t know these computer things. You’re not being helpful! You will call my professor and tell him you lost my paper! I want your manager!”

(I get the name of her professor,.who teaches in Computer Information Systems; the kicker is he doesn’t teach lower division classes!)

Time And Relative Dimensions In Cyberspace

| London, England, UK | Right | July 23, 2013

(Part of my job involves managing the helpdesk for an online research panel. Because the panel is made of just two daily surveys, panelists receive a survey reminder every morning. I take a call from a panelist.)

Panelist: “You’re sending me too many emails! I’m getting two every morning!”

Me: “Alright, it sounds like you may have registered with us twice. Could I take your email address?”

(I look the panelist up by his email, and find that he has indeed registered again. This isn’t normally possible, because the system checks against name, email and address. I do notice one thing, though…)

Me: “Alright, looking at our system, I can see two accounts to your name. The reason you were able to register again is because your address doesn’t quite match between both accounts.”

Panelist: “Well how’s that possible? I haven’t moved anywhere!”

Me: “Well, on one account you put your address down as THE TARDIS.”

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Taking Account Of The Nice Attitude

| FL, USA | Right | July 22, 2013

(I have some problems with my cell phone bill being charged almost double what it is supposed to be.)

Me: “Okay, my account number is [number], and it says I’ve paid everything off!”

Customer Service #1: “Uh, no ma’am. That account was closed.”

Me: “What? When!”

Customer Service #1: “On the 13th. It says right here. Now, you owe $300 for account number [different number]. Honestly, you can see this all online.”

Me: “Um, no I can’t. I can see the info for account number [first number], but I don’t have an account with [second number].”

Customer Service #1: “Oh, you can’t see it? Let me transfer you to someone that can help with the website.”

Me: “What? No! Don’t transfer me!”

(She transfers me before I finish talking. At this point I am extremely annoyed. When the next person comes on the line, I am more than a little rude.)

Me: “Okay, here is what is going on…”

(I explain the whole long process.)

Me: “Now, why is there a different account number there, than what I have?”

Customer Service #2: “Okay, I see here that you put in a transfer of ownership, yes?”

Me: “Yes, it was my brother’s, and now it’s mine.”

Customer Service #2: “See, that’s why. Since you transferred it to your name, we had to cancel the old account and create a new one. The contracts transferred as is.”

Me: “Oh, that makes sense. I wish someone had told me that would happen, though. But why is it so high?”

Customer Service #2: “Let me see, huh. With your plan and discount, it should only come out to be about half of what you’re being charged. That is weird. Oh, here it is. For some reason it charged you for last month as well, but you paid that off on the other account, right? It shows a zero balance to me.”

Me: “Yes, I paid off last month, and that month was higher because I got a new phone.”

Customer Service #2: “Let me talk to my supervisor, and see if we can fix this issue for you.”

(I am put on hold for a few minutes.)

Customer Service #2: “Good news! My supervisor okay-ed me to remove the excess charges. Your new total comes out be $200. The reason it’s still a little high is because of the transfer of ownership fee, and your late fees for not paying on time.”

Me: “Thanks, but is there anyway you can remove the late fees? I’ve always used the automatic payments, and didn’t know I’d have to link to a new account.”

Customer Service #2: “Okay, since you were not notified you would have to make payments to this new account, and it shows here you have never been late with your payment before, I can waive those too.”

Me: “Oh, my God. Thank you so much.”

Customer Service #2: *a little surprised* “Uh, no problem, ma’am. I’m here to help.”

Me: “No, seriously, I know I was very rude and short with you before, and you’ve been nothing but patient with me.”

Customer Service #2: “Uh, you are very welcome, ma’am. Um, is there anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “I think that’s everything, but thanks again so much for helping me out.”

Customer Service #2: “You’re welcome, and have a nice day.”

(I think she forgot to disconnect the call at the right time, because I hear this right after:)

Customer Service #2: “Hey! The lady I just got apologized for being rude to me earlier, and thanked me for helping her!”

Customer Service #2’s Colleague: “Really? That’s never happened to me!”

Customer Service #2: “I know right?”

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Modem Warfare

| NY, USA | Right | July 2, 2013

(I’m a tier-one tech support rep for internet issues. I receive a call from a customer who is very angry, because his internet still isn’t working, despite multiple calls and field tech visits.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

(The customer begins a tirade of how inept my company is, including everything that’s been done so far. I begin basic troubleshooting as per policy, which doesn’t get the customer back online. I’m about to schedule another field tech to go out the customer.)

Customer: “This is great! You’re too f****** stupid to fix anything, and now I have to waste another f****** day so you can send out another f****** tech! Everything’s already been replaced! They replaced all the lines; I replaced the router and the modem! Why can’t you do your f****** job and fix this?!”

Me: “Did you say you have a new modem? I’m only seeing the one that was installed 10 years ago.”

Customer: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Did you call to have the new modem added to your account, sir?”

Customer: “Why the h*** would I do that?”

Me: “That’s why I’m not seeing the modem, sir. We need to add it to your account so that our system knows where to send the signal.”

(I proceed to enter the new modem to the account, which results in my being able to see good signals. I have the customer try to access the internet, which is now working.)

Me: “I just want to make sure the computer isn’t remembering a website from earlier. Could you try two random websites for me so we can be sure everything’s working?”

Customer: *embarrassed* “I did; it’s fine now!” *click*

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Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 14

| Greenville, SC, USA | Right | June 27, 2013

(I work in computer technical support for an international electronics company. I am a soft spoken female technician with a ‘young’ sounding voice. As a result, I tend to have a hard time being taken seriously by certain customers.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]; my name is [name]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t need customer service; I need technical support.”

Me: “Yes sir, you’ve reached technical support. What product is it that I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I need a tech to help me with this issue. I’m sure you think you know what you’re doing, but if you’d like to put me on hold and transfer me to a male tech, I’d be happy to hold.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to transfer you back into our waiting queue. I assure you, sir, I’ll be able to help you with your issue if you can give me some information. If you’d prefer to speak with a male tech, you can disconnect the call and try again.”

Customer: “No, no I don’t want to do that. Alright, fine, can you help me connect my printer to my wireless connection then?”

Me: “Of course, I’d be happy to assist you with that today. Can you give me the model code on your printer so I can look that model up?”

Customer: *gives model number*

Me: “Does that model code have any letters at the end of it? Perhaps an ‘N’ or a ‘W’?”

Customer: “Ma’am, I assure you; I know how to read a model code. There are no letters at the end of the code on this printer.”

Me: “Alright, sir, I think I see the issue. It appears that this isn’t a wireless or networkable model. Our printer models designate network models with an ‘N’ at the end of the model code, and wireless models with a ‘W’. I can help you connect it to your computer through USB, but this model will not be able to be connected wirelessly or through a network.”

Customer: ”Look, I’m not stupid! I know this is a wireless printer; and I want to connect it to my network! If you can’t tell me how to do that, then transfer me to a man who can!”

Me: “Do you mind if we check a couple of things on that printer, sir, just to be sure? Can you look and see if there’s an ethernet port on the back of your printer? It’ll look like—”

Customer: “I know what an ethernet port looks like; I’m an IT professional! I work with networks all day, and this printer does not have an ethernet port on it!”

Me: “I understand, can you look for one more thing for me? Can you see if there’s a wireless light on the top of the printer? It would be marked as either wireless or with a symbol that looks like—”

Customer: “No! There’s no wireless light on this printer! It doesn’t need a wireless light, it says right on the box that it’s wireless! Now can you help me connect it or not?”

Me: “Sir, can you read me the part of the box that shows this is a wireless printer?”

Customer: “It’s right here! It says: ‘Easy one step wireless setup available on models—’… Oh… I uh… does this mean I’m going to have to buy a new printer?”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 13
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 12
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 11

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