Not A Fan Of Poly-gab-at-me

| Utah, USA | Bigotry, Religion

(I’m finishing up a tech support call. The conversation has been normal up until this point.)

Customer: “Can I ask where you’re located? You’re not in India, are you?”

Me: “No, we are not in India. We are located in Utah.”

Customer: “Utah, huh? Can I ask you a personal question?”

Me: “Well, I generally avoid discussing personal matters with people I don’t know.”

Customer: “Okay, well, are you Mormon?”

Me: “I am.”

Customer: “How many wives do you have?”

Me: “None.”

Customer: “Okay, okay…but how many are you going to have?”

Me: “One.”

Customer: “Oh, come on, you’re Mormon! Shouldn’t you have like twenty?”

Me: “Sir, it is a common misconception that Mormons have more than one wife, but we don’t. Is there any other technical issue I can help you with?”

Customer: “I would become Mormon just so I could have a bunch of wives.”

(In the background, I hear a woman yelling at the man I’m speaking with.)

Customer: “Shut up, woman! I’m on the phone!”

Me: “It doesn’t sound like you can handle the wife you already have. Why would you want more?”

Customer: “Well, I wouldn’t want to talk to them!”

You’re An Idi0t, Part 2

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Language & Words

(In order to proceed on our site, users need to type in a signature consisting of their name and their username, which is an eight-digit number.)

Customer: “Every time I’m typin’ in my signature, it ain’t accepting it.”

Me: “Okay, well, I just want to make sure everything’s entered correctly in our system.”

(I read out their name, including spelling. Everything’s correct.)

Me: “Alright, let’s check your user ID. It should be zero-one-six—”

Customer: “Now, hold on. Do you mean the letter zero, or the number zero?”

Me: “…The number. Zero is a number.”

Customer: “Oh…huh. Well, that may be the problem. I been usin’ the alphabet-zero this whole time!”

Related:
You’re An Idi0t
You Have O Sense

Weekend Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 2

, , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Technology

Tech Support Classics, Part 2: This week, we feature another five stories that reveal the trials, tribulations, and terrors that technical support employees endure daily! PS–also check out Tech Support Classics, Part 1!

  1. Scareware Makes Us Aware:
    TMI: getting an STD from an FLV!
  2. Workin’ That Tech Support Magic:
    A clever tech support employee gets some magical help!
  3. Get A Life:
    A “real”-ly demanding customer gets a “reality” check.
  4. What She Needs Is A Skynet:
    Artificial intelligence meets zero intelligence.
  5. How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2:
    A user points and clicks their way into the Tech Support Hall Of Shame!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!