This Caller’s Not Too Bright

| Charlottetown, PEI, Canada | Crazy Requests, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [company] Tech Support. My name is [name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “The technician needs to come.”

Me: “Sorry about the issue you are having, what seems to be happening?”

Caller: ”It’s too bright!”

Me: “What seems to be too bright?”

Caller: ”The light!”

Me: “What light are you talking about?”

Caller: ”The light on the box!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what box are you referring to?”

Caller: ”Internet light!”

Me: “Is this the light to your modem or your computer?”

Caller: ”The light is too bright and I can’t sleep at night. I need the tech to come out and not make it bright!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Have you tried turning the modem around to face a wall or put something over the lights?”

Caller: ”No, do you think that would work?”

Me: “Possibly.”

Caller: ”Well, I still want my other box back! It wasn’t bright!”

Me: “…”

This Apple Falls Far From The IP

| Manchester, UK | Awesome Customers, Technology, Top

(I have been trying to help a caller connect her new router up to accept all the wireless devices in her house, as she’s recently changed her internet supplier to us. It’s been almost 40 minutes and not going well, until this happens.)

Caller: “Well, you’re obviously not getting this! I’ll let my son explain because he’s been working on this for hours.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, no problem.”

(The caller’s son gets on the phone.)

Caller’s Son: “Right…what’s happening is that my DS isn’t connecting due to our wireless having too high security, so I’ve been trying to drop it from whatever WPA it’s on down to WEP. However, to do this I need to log into the router settings using my IP address. I used the static IP address, but to actually log in I need a username and password. I checked on the internet and it says to use admin and password, but whenever I tried it just cleared both fields.”

Me: *slightly stunned* “Uh, well, what you could try is the router password that’s specific to you. It should be on the help sheet that came with the router itself.”

(Around twenty seconds later…)

Caller’s Son: “Ah, thanks very much. Cheers!

Me: “No problem. If you have any other queries, feel free to call us again.”

Caller’s Son: *hangs up*

Me: *to coworker* “I f***ing love tech savvy kids.”

WEP Behind The Ears

| Dronten, The Netherlands | Technology

Me: “Good morning, [ISP]. This is [name] speaking.”

Caller: “Yes, good morning sir. I’m trying to connect my internet, but it’s asking me for a ‘wireless key’.”

Me: “Alright, sir, that’s the password you can find on the back of your router.”

Caller: “You misunderstand me, sir. It’s asking for a key, not a password.”

Me: “Yes, the key is a password. It’s on your—”

Caller: *angry* “It’s asking for a key! I have the key here. I’m just looking for the keyhole!”

Me: *surprised* “May I ask where you got that key?”

Caller: “It’s the key on the door where the modem is in! The modem key! I just need to know where to put it in!”