This Apple Falls Far From The IP

| Manchester, UK | Awesome Customers, Technology, Top

(I have been trying to help a caller connect her new router up to accept all the wireless devices in her house, as she’s recently changed her internet supplier to us. It’s been almost 40 minutes and not going well, until this happens.)

Caller: “Well, you’re obviously not getting this! I’ll let my son explain because he’s been working on this for hours.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, no problem.”

(The caller’s son gets on the phone.)

Caller’s Son: “Right…what’s happening is that my DS isn’t connecting due to our wireless having too high security, so I’ve been trying to drop it from whatever WPA it’s on down to WEP. However, to do this I need to log into the router settings using my IP address. I used the static IP address, but to actually log in I need a username and password. I checked on the internet and it says to use admin and password, but whenever I tried it just cleared both fields.”

Me: *slightly stunned* “Uh, well, what you could try is the router password that’s specific to you. It should be on the help sheet that came with the router itself.”

(Around twenty seconds later…)

Caller’s Son: “Ah, thanks very much. Cheers!

Me: “No problem. If you have any other queries, feel free to call us again.”

Caller’s Son: *hangs up*

Me: *to coworker* “I f***ing love tech savvy kids.”

WEP Behind The Ears

| Dronten, The Netherlands | Technology

Me: “Good morning, [ISP]. This is [name] speaking.”

Caller: “Yes, good morning sir. I’m trying to connect my internet, but it’s asking me for a ‘wireless key’.”

Me: “Alright, sir, that’s the password you can find on the back of your router.”

Caller: “You misunderstand me, sir. It’s asking for a key, not a password.”

Me: “Yes, the key is a password. It’s on your—”

Caller: *angry* “It’s asking for a key! I have the key here. I’m just looking for the keyhole!”

Me: *surprised* “May I ask where you got that key?”

Caller: “It’s the key on the door where the modem is in! The modem key! I just need to know where to put it in!”

Open Says-A-Me

| San Diego, CA, USA | Technology

(I remote into computers so I can fix our company’s software. I only fix our company’s software, not general computer problems.)

Me: “Ma’am, it looks like I’m having problems saving this file in your Windows directory. I’m going to need administrative rights. Can you log in as an administrator?”

Customer: “Okay, you have my permission.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You have my permission. I give you rights!”

Me: “No, I mean, I need access to an administrative account.”

Customer: “You have permission! I told you!”

Me: “Uhh…sorry, ma’am, I don’t have your password. I need you to actually log off of this account and log in as someone else with administrative rights.”

Customer: “Ooohhh…”