They Call Me Names

| NB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I overhear a phone call another agent is having with a customer for technical support.)

Agent: “Hi, my name is [name]. Can I get your name and your TID please?”

Caller: *says something*

Agent: “Your name.”

Caller: *says something*

Agent: “Your N… A… M… E.”

Caller: *says something*

Agent: “NAME. N… A… M… E…”

Caller: *says something*

Agent: “No, your name.”

Caller: *says something*

Agent: “Okay, what do people call you when they want your attention?”

Caller: *says something*

Agent: “What did your mother call you when you were born?”

Caller: *says something*

Agent: “Forget that, what’s your station number?”

Caller: *says something*

Agent: “What’s the phone number at your site?”

Caller: *says something*

Agent: “This isn’t working, how about we just end the call now? Get someone that speaks English since the rest of the questions I will have for you are just going to get harder.” *hangs up*

Taking Nothing From The Experience

| Detroit, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer calls with a very simple request, but because her tablet is out of warranty, so I have to charge her for service.)

Me: “Ma’am, the credit card servers have gone down, so I’m still happy to assist you, no charge. Go ahead and click the button on the side of your device and your problem should be solved.”

Caller: *after clicking the button* “It’s fixed! That was easy. Would you be able to reverse the charge?”

Me: “I was unable to complete the transaction, so there will be no charge.”

Caller: “That’s great, honey, but could you reverse the charges?”

Me: “Ma’am, I never charged you. Your credit card will not be charged.”

Caller: “Sweetheart, I don’t think you understand: I’m not asking you if you charged me, I’m asking you to please reverse the charges.”

Me: “So you want me to give you back the money that I didn’t take from you?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “Sure thing! Have a great day!”

Caller: “Thanks, darling! You too!”

A Coincidence Beyond Numbers

| UT, USA | Extra Stupid

Me: “Thank you for calling technical support, this is [my name]. May I get your company’s phone number or ticket number, please?”

Customer: “My company’s number is [number].”

(This number pulls up her company, but it’s an inactive account. I then look it up by the company’s name, and find the active account under a completely different phone number.)

Me: “Alright, ma’am, it actually looks as though we have the account under this phone number.” *gives her the new number*

Customer: “That’s the number I gave you!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that; I thought you had given me [first phone number].”

Customer: “No, no! I gave you [second number], not that other one. You typed it in wrong!”

Me: “Oh, okay. So I just happened to mistype the phone number into a completely different number, which also happened to pull up your company, just by chance?”

Customer: “YES!”