Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m giving a jobseeker the email address of our recruiter. Note that this jobseeker is male.)

Me: “That’s L, V as in Victor, E as in echo.”

(He repeats the email address back to me.)

Caller: “That’s L as in love, V as in valentine, E as in Edward, and S as in Sam.”

Me: “Um, yeah.”

Related:
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
Less Twilight, More Daylight

Honesty In A Modern Age, Part 2

| USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “I know this app is new, but I just can’t figure out why you would release something that clearly doesn’t work!”

Me: “Hmm…everything looks okay on our end with your registration and activation.”

Caller:Something is wrong because this just doesn’t work! I can’t believe it!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m not sure what else to try. Are you sure you’re in a Wi-Fi hotspot?”

(There’s a long pause.)

Caller: *starts laughing* “You aren’t going to believe this. I’m the Chief Technical Officer for my company and I’m still in airplane mode.”

Me: “So you’ve turned your Wi-Fi back on then?”

Caller: “Yeah. I feel kind of dumb right now.” *pauses* “Please don’t tell anyone.”

Me: *laughing* “My lips are sealed, sir.”

Related:
Honesty In A Modern Age

A Mother’s Gift

| Provo, UT, USA | Technology

Me: “Okay, before I reset your password, I just need you to verify your identity for me. Please respond to the security question that you set up when you made your account.”

User: “Okay, what is it?”

Me: “It looks like your security question is…’Show me what yo’ mamma gave you!'”

User: *raucous laughter*

(We laugh about it together for a good minute. The sound is so loud it draws the attention of my coworkers. He then admits that he remembers entering that security question, but has no idea what he put as the answer — which was simply his name.)

Log On To The Clueless Wide Web

| Utah, USA | Technology

Caller: “My Outlook isn’t working anymore. When I put my password in, it doesn’t log me in.”

Me: “Are you able to access your email using web-access for our email system?”

Caller: “What’s that?”

(This is forgivable. Oftentimes, professors don’t know that they can access their work email using a website as well.)

Me: “Okay, well, if you just go to [site.domain.edu] and enter your credentials–”

Caller: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s the URL of the web access client. Just open your internet browser and type it in–”

Caller: “What’s an internet browser?”

Me: “It’s the program you use to access the internet.”

Caller: “What’s the internet?”

Me: *speechless*

Dumb&Dumberest

| Alabama, USA | Technology

(I work at an IT helpdesk that supports store managers. A manager calls in about problems with their telephone system.)

Me: “Can you tell me what model equipment are you guys are using?”

Customer: “I don’t know what kind it is.”

Me: “Can you read me what the label says on unit?”

Customer: “It says A…T…something in Chinese…and another T.”

Me: “Chinese?”

Customer: “I’m gonna unplug it.”

Me: “No, wait. Don’t–” *call disconnects*

(Since he disconnected his entire telephone system, we couldn’t contact the store and had to drive down to talk to them personally. We ended up having to hire a 3rd party tech to go out and plug that device back in and reconfigure the entire system. Apparently, they don’t have the ampersand in Alabama.)

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