PEBCAK & Episode V

| Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Technology

(Note: I provide desktop support for a division of the Canadian government.)

Caller: “My computer is frozen. I’ve tried everything and it just doesn’t respond…” *describes what’s on the screen*

Me: “Okay, we can fix that.”

(A bit of troubleshooting transpires.)

Caller: “No, it’s still not doing anything.”

Me: “Okay, we will try a hard power off. Hold down the power button on the tower until the computer turns off, and then press it again to turn it back on.”

(The caller answers almost immediately, which is a tad fast as it takes about 5 seconds for the tower to power off usually.)

Caller: “Okay, I did that. It’s still the same.”

Me: “What do you mean it’s still the same?”

Caller: “Nothing has changed. It’s just like it was before I turned it off. I know what I’m doing; I’m good with computers. I use one at home all the time, too.”

Me: “…So, you completely turned the computer off by holding down the power button and when you turned it back on you didn’t have to log on or enter a password, and all your applications showed up still frozen?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s it exactly. I don’t understand what’s going on! I’m good with computers. I use one at home all the time, too.”

(I ask a couple more questions before giving up fixing it over the phone. As she works in the same building as I do, I tell her that I’ll be up to see her in a few minutes. I walk in to see her holding down the power button and a blank screen.)

Caller: “I thought that if I held it down for longer it might be better.”

Me: *bites tongue* “Okay, well what we need to do—”

Caller: “See?!” *the screen lights up* “Exactly the same as before I shut it all down!”

Me: “Okay, but that is the monitor. We need to shut down the computer…”

Related:
PEBCAK & Episode IV

Call Back To The 1940s

| UT, USA | Bigotry

(I am a female. I work at a call center where we take care of Internet, cable, and home phone problems. If we don’t have a number from a customer, we can’t look up their account. If they don’t give us am alternate number (like a cell phone) we cannot call them back.)

Me: “Thanks for calling tech support. Can I get your 10-digit telephone number, please?”

Customer: “Nope! Get me a supervisor right now… a male supervisor.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. They are currently in a meeting, but I’m sure I can assist you. Can I get an alternate number in case we get disconnected?”

Customer: “Sure as h*** can’t! Get me a supervisor now. I don’t care how long it takes.”

(After about 5 minutes of at least trying to pull up his account and get an alternate telephone number, I eventually give up and go get a supervisor. Keep in mind we have no info from him, and therefore have no way to call him back.)

Me: “Okay, sir. I have my supervisor here.”

(I put the customer on mute while I hand my supervisor my headset. However, my supervisor accidentally hits ‘power’ instead of un-mute, hanging up on the customer.)

Me: “Did you just hang up—”

Supervisor: “Shut up. It’s been a long day. Do we have a call-back number?”

Me: “Nope!”

Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 11

| UK | Technology

Me: “Thanks for calling [store name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My internet won’t work! You have to fix it now! My business is losing hundreds of pounds thanks to you!”

Me: “I certainly do apologise about that. Are the lights on?”

Customer: “Yes, but one’s flashing.”

Me: “Okay, is the DSL cable plugged in securely?”

Customer: “DSL cable? There isn’t one of those!”

Me: “Erm, okay. So, what cables do you have plugged into it?”

Customer: “I haven’t got any plugged into it! It said it was a wireless router! So I don’t need any wires, duh!”

Me: “So… where is the router ma’am?”

Customer: “It’s in the filing cabinet, of course!”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 10