May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away, Part 3

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Technology

(A customer brings in a phone that is still covered in the snow she just dropped it in.)

Me: “I am sorry, but we do not service liquid damaged phones.”

Customer: “How is that liquid damaged?”

Me: “Well, you brought it in covered in snow.”

Customer: “Snow is not water.”

Me: “It’s frozen water. See how the counter is getting wet?”

Customer: “Well, now it is! You need to replace my phone since you let it get wet!”

Related:
May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away, Part 2
May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away

Via The Aloha Landbridge, Of Course

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(I receive a call from a customer who lives in the continental United States.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [shipping company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m trying to make a ground shipment and the website won’t let me!”

(This company disables ground shipping if your account is late. I check the customer’s account and it is current.)

Me: “When did this start?”

Customer: “Do you think it could have anything with the shipment going to Hawaii?”

Me: “That’s probably it…”

As Easy As !-@-#

| Colorado, USA | Technology

(I’m the IT manager at my work. I’ve just created a user account for our HR manager.)

Me: “So, the username is [username] and the password is just 1234.”

Caller: “1234? That’s it?”

Me: “We try to keep it simple.”

Caller: “Okay, thanks.” *hangs up*

(About a minute later, he calls back.)

Caller: “It that capitalized?”

Phones Have Needs Too

| Connecticut, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in a call center doing tech support for mobile phones.)

Caller: “The touchscreen on my phone is going crazy. It does whatever it wants.”

Me: “So, if I understand correctly, you can touch the screen in one spot and it responds as if you touched it somewhere else?”

Caller: “Yes! Actually, I can put it down on the table and it just sits there touching itself!”

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Four, Five, And Whatever Comes After Six

| West Byfleet, UK | Technology

(I’ve been hired by a software company to phone up their customers and get feedback on their help desk service.)

Me: “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being ‘poor’ and 10 being ‘excellent’, how would you rate the overall service of the help desk?”

Customer: “Phew…I’m not sure. I mean, it’s really good.”

Me: “I understand it’s a tricky question, but if you had to put a number to it?”

Customer: “Well, I mean, it’s sort of in between a 8 and a 10, really.”

Me: “So, a 9?”

Customer: “Well, I suppose so.”

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