First Name First, Last Name Last

| Little Rock, AR, USA | Technology

Teacher: “I can’t log in. I am using the username our IT guys set up for us.”

Me: “What username are you using?”

Teacher: “First_Lastname.”

Me: “So what is your first and last name?”

Teacher: “Oh…am I supposed to enter my real first and last name separated by an underscore?”

Me: “As opposed to what?”

Teacher: “As opposed to typing ‘First_Lastname’?”

Log On To The Clueless Wide Web, Part 2

| Missouri, USA | Technology

(I work at a call center geared toward internet and television technical support.)

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “My service is out. It’s been out all day!”

Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. Is this your TV or internet service?”

Customer: “TV or what?”

Me: *slower* “Is this your TV or internet service?”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Customer: “That second thing you said. What’s that?”

Me: “The internet.”

Customer: “Yeah, I don’t know what that is.”

Me: “Um, sir, it’s connected to computers.”

Customer: “I don’t know what that thing is, but I don’t got no computer.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of TV service do you have, then?”

(Thankfully, everything goes smoothly once we get off the topic of computers and internet.)

Related:
Log On To The Clueless Wide Web

Crazies Of Different Stripes

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I perform technical service on analytical instruments for labs. I am in a lab fixing an instrument that has had a lot of issues.)

Lab tech: “Just pray over it. That will make it better. Just pray.”

Me: “I wish it were that easy! We’re almost there though.”

Lab tech: “You pray over it, I will go to hell. I have to go to hell to fight the zebras!”

Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m giving a jobseeker the email address of our recruiter. Note that this jobseeker is male.)

Me: “That’s L, V as in Victor, E as in echo.”

(He repeats the email address back to me.)

Caller: “That’s L as in love, V as in valentine, E as in Edward, and S as in Sam.”

Me: “Um, yeah.”

Related:
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
Less Twilight, More Daylight

Honesty In A Modern Age, Part 2

| USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “I know this app is new, but I just can’t figure out why you would release something that clearly doesn’t work!”

Me: “Hmm…everything looks okay on our end with your registration and activation.”

Caller:Something is wrong because this just doesn’t work! I can’t believe it!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m not sure what else to try. Are you sure you’re in a Wi-Fi hotspot?”

(There’s a long pause.)

Caller: *starts laughing* “You aren’t going to believe this. I’m the Chief Technical Officer for my company and I’m still in airplane mode.”

Me: “So you’ve turned your Wi-Fi back on then?”

Caller: “Yeah. I feel kind of dumb right now.” *pauses* “Please don’t tell anyone.”

Me: *laughing* “My lips are sealed, sir.”

Related:
Honesty In A Modern Age

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