You’re My Hero-in

, | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(I used to do overnight cell phone tech support for a major provider. As I worked on the prepaid side, we tended to get weird or unreasonable customers on a consistent basis, especially late at night. The customer I’ve been working with in this story, however, has been completely calm and reasonable throughout our call. Also note that I have only heard him during the entire call, nobody else.)

Me: “Well, if there’s nothing else I can do to assist you tonight I just want to thank you for being the best part of [Company]. Again, my name is [My Name] and I hope you have a great rest of your night!”

Customer: “Thanks, you too! Good night.”

(At this point the line goes quiet but is still connected. Assuming he either thinks he hung up or is waiting for me to do so, I reach for the release button.)

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU THINKING?!”

(I jump, but realize that he’s not talking to me. For the first time I hear someone muttering to him in the background.)

Customer: “Why the f*** did you think it was a good idea to say ‘heroin’ while I was on a call? What the f*** are you going to do if I go back to jail, huh?!”

(At that point I released the call, hoping the customer didn’t realize we were still connected and the only person I heard talking about illegal narcotics was him.)

The Final Word On Passwords, Part 5

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Technology

(I am working in a call center for tech support that handles area offices. A worker from a local office calls in upset because she can’t use her ‘new computer’.)

Me: “Can I get the name of the computer so I can check on it in our system?”

Customer: “[Computer].”

Me: “It looks like [Computer] is registered for [Other User] instead of your account…”

Customer: “Yes, it’s his computer, and it won’t take my password to use it.”

Me: “Are you using a password he gave you?”

Customer: “No, it’s my password, but it has his name here so it won’t work.”

Me: “So you are using your password with someone else’s username, on their computer, and you don’t know why it won’t work?”

(She hung up at this point, and I haven’t heard back from her since.)

Related:
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 4
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 3
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 2

A Surge Of Abuse

| CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Technology

(We get a call about one of our customer’s network not working on one floor of their place. I am quickly sent over to check on the problem and when I arrive, I find the owner of the company standing there looking quite displeased.)

Me: “Good afternoon! My name is [My Name] from [Company]; I hear you have a bit of a network problem?”

Owner: “Yes. You people installed my network two months ago and it’s broken.”

Me: “Uh oh, let’s see what’s going on!”

(He leads me downstairs to the main network router and modem. Sure enough everything on the main floor is working just fine, but the one running upstairs is showing no connection.)

Owner: “You charge me an arm and a leg, and everything is broken. I knew I should have gone with one of the dozen other companies around. You people just gave me s***ty equipment! You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?”

(I’ve all but tuned him out at this point, but I want to go have a look at the setup upstairs. I wait for a break in his rambling.)

Me: “Sir, can I have a look upstairs?”

Owner: “May as well…”

(He brings me upstairs and within a minute, I see the problem. He begins rambling again about how horrible we are at our jobs, how we just sold him broken equipment, and I stop him.)

Me: “Excuse me, [Owner]?”

Owner: “What?”

Me: “I understand being frustrated at equipment not working and paying a professional to fix your equipment, only to have it break, but please, I don’t appreciate the badmouthing right to my face. I was not employed with the company when your network was set up. Also—” *I flip the switch on the surge protector connected to his network switch to ON* “—you should be all set.”

(We check the computer and, sure enough, his network is working perfectly.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, [Owner]?”

(He is silent with this face of, “Oh…” and just turns and walks away to his office, closing the door behind him. His business partner peeks his head around the corner.)

Partner: “Really? That was it?”

Me: “Yes, it was.”

Partner: “Well, I’m very sorry to have to apologize for him, but I’m so sorry that he treated you that way. I promise, we’re not all like that here!”

(We shared a laugh and he showed me out. He was an incredibly friendly person. I headed back to my company, and apparently on my drive back, the partner had put a call in telling the owner how good of a job I did. I got a nice bonus for that one.)

A Capital Idea

| Scotland, UK | Popular, Technology

(I am a new trainee on an IT support desk. One of my coworkers is listening in, to make sure I do everything right.)

Me: “Good morning, [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, sorry. I’ve wrongly entered my password three times and I’ve been locked out.”

Me: “No problem, I’ll just unlock that for you. Can I have your details, please?”

(The caller gives me their details and I unlock the account.)

Me: “There you go. Just try logging in and make sure everything’s okay.”

Caller: “No, it’s not letting me in. Let me try again. Nope. And now I’ve locked myself out again.”

Me: “Yes, that’s showing up here. I’ll just unlock it again for you. Are you sure you’re entering the right password?”

Caller: “Pretty sure. Let me just try again. Nope, locked out again.”

Me: “Okay, let me unlock the account and I’ll reset your password. It’s a one-time password, so you’ll be asked to change it as soon as you’ve logged in. Your new password is [password].”

Caller: “Great, thanks. Nope, it’s locked me out again.”

(At this point, my coworker slides a piece of paper across the desk to me with “Caps lock?” written on it.)

Me: “Okay, I know this is a really stupid question, but I have to ask it anyway. Do you have caps lock on?”

Caller: *long silence* “Oh f***! F***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***! Thank you, I can get logged in now.”

Me: “Anything else I can do for you?”

Caller: *laughing* “No. No, thanks. You’ve done enough!”

Teach A Man To Email…

| MO, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Rude & Risque, Technology

(Working tech support, it isn’t uncommon to get calls from older clients. Most of these callers will be learning how to use computers for the first time, so it is always best to be patient with them, and appreciate that they’re trying to understand. My current caller is an older gentleman.)

Me: “How can I assist you today, sir?”

Caller: “I need to send an email.”

(I am meant to provide assistance on our software, so this is a little outside our remit. However, he is one of our clients, so in the interests of good customer service I decide to help out.)

Me: “You need help in setting up an email address?”

Caller: “No, no, my son did that for me already. I just… can’t remember how to get into it.”

Me: “No problem, sir. Do you remember what your address is?”

Caller: “Of course! It’s 1405 John Street. Just drive past the [Store] from the interstate and you’ll find me.”

Me: “Haha, that’s good to know, sir, but I meant your email address.”

Caller: *pause* “Oh, of course you did. How silly of me. You must think me quite the fool.”

Me: “Not at all, sir. After all, I didn’t specify which address!”

Caller: “You’re too kind to an old man. Now, yes, I have it written down here somewhere.”

(As I hear him rifling through some papers, I take a look at his customer account. I suspect that his customer details were set up with the assistance of his son. I see an email address written as [First Name][Last Name][email protected])

Me: “Sir, would your email address be your name, and the year of your birth by any chance?”

Caller: “Yes! That’s it! That’s amazing! How did you know that!”

Me: “It was the email address used when your account with us was set up, sir.”

Caller: “You can see that? How wonderful! Yes, that’s the one.”

Me: “No problem, sir.”

(I go through the steps of logging into his email address, help him with his password prompts (he’d forgotten) and finally get him to the email screen.)

Caller: “So I simply just type my email into this box and then hit the send button?”

Me: “That’s all there is to it, sir.”

Caller: “That’s amazing! You’ve turned my life around, son!”

Me: “It was nothing at all, sir.”

Caller: “You’ve been more help to me these last few minutes than anyone else I’ve ever called about any of this stuff. Can I call you again?”

Me: “Certainly, sir, just call this number and ask for [My Name], and I will be more than happy to help out with anything you need.”

Caller: “Can I call up tomorrow? I’ll need help finding those naughty websites my grandsons don’t know that I know about.”

Me: *pause for shock, but remaining professional* “I will be more than happy to help out with almost anything you need…”

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