Not-So-Smartphone, Part 14

| IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am about to reset a customer’s modem and I want to know if it will disconnect our call when I do.)

Me: “Are you using a cell phone right now?”

Customer: “I have a laptop.”

Me: “…Are you using a cell phone to talk to me right now?”

Customer: “I’ve got a laptop.”

Me: *giving up* “What I’m doing will reboot your modem.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I’m on a cellphone.”

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 13

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 12
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11

 

Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 22

| BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

Caller: “Hey, I can’t connect to my home wifi when I’m not at home.”

Me: “Sir, it won’t, as your wifi has a range limitation.”

Caller: “Well, I was in the mall and I wanted to know what the gas prices are.”

Me: “Sir, do you have a data plan on your cell?”

Caller: “I DON’T KNOW! I WANT TO CONNECT TO MY HOME WIFI! YOU’RE NO HELP AT ALL!” *click*

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 21

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 20
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 19

Won’t Miss This Misogynist

| BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(The customer calls in because he has no signal on his TV. After verifying simple things, such as ‘is the cable box turned on,’ the customer randomly turns nasty.)

Me: “Okay, sir, can you just press input on your remote for me?”

Caller: “I’M NOT A DUMMY!”

Me: “Nobody assumed that, sir. I just need you to press input so we can get to video.”

Caller: “NO, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TOO?! THIS IS A JOKE! WHAT DO I DO?”

Me: “Sir, press input and then we sel—”

Caller: “NO! F*** YOU! YOU PUT ME ON TO A MAN RIGHT NOW, YOU LITTLE S**T!”

Me: “I can’t transfer you back to the queue and that’s exceptionally sexist.”

Caller: “WELL, I AM F****** SEXIST! NOW PUT ME ONTO A MAN, YOU DIRTY S**T.  I’M NO F****** DUMMY!”

Me: “Your wife must be a very lucky woman and I don’t have to take this abuse; I am terminating this call.”