Has Confidence In Your Network

| USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

Customer: “I cannot get on VPN.”

Me: “Okay, do you have any error message?”

Customer: “Hang on a second. First I have to connect to Wi-Fi right?”

Me: “Yes, that would help for sure.”

Customer: “How do I do that? Shall I click on that bars icon?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Now I have a list of possibilities. Which is correct, [his, not very common, last name]’s network?”

Me: “That sounds like the one.”

Customer: “Now it says ‘connected’. What is next? Internet Explorer?”

Me: “Yes, and then go to VPN landing page.”

Customer: “Oh, is it [exactly correct URL]?”

Me: “Yes, that is the one.”

Customer: “Now what? It is asking for user name and password. Is it [correct ID] and [correct type of password]?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Oh, it says that I’m connected to VPN. Thank you very much for your help.”

Me: “No problem, sir. I just do not know what should I put in your ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, put there that I just needed some confidence.”


Don’t Leave Santraginus V Without It

| USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule

(I am a trainer for an internal helpdesk. We have several new employees, and one of them is currently sitting with me while I show her how to handle our calls. She is older, and has commented several times that I say the weirdest things.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “Well, you’re doing really well so far, so let’s see. The meaning of life?”

Me: “Well, as far as I understand, the answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.”

Caller: “You would be surprised how many people don’t know that.”

Me: “Those people probably also don’t know where their towel is, and that’s a shame.”

Caller: *cracks up laughing*

Trainee: “…”


You’re My Hero-in

, | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(I used to do overnight cell phone tech support for a major provider. As I worked on the prepaid side, we tended to get weird or unreasonable customers on a consistent basis, especially late at night. The customer I’ve been working with in this story, however, has been completely calm and reasonable throughout our call. Also note that I have only heard him during the entire call, nobody else.)

Me: “Well, if there’s nothing else I can do to assist you tonight I just want to thank you for being the best part of [Company]. Again, my name is [My Name] and I hope you have a great rest of your night!”

Customer: “Thanks, you too! Good night.”

(At this point the line goes quiet but is still connected. Assuming he either thinks he hung up or is waiting for me to do so, I reach for the release button.)


(I jump, but realize that he’s not talking to me. For the first time I hear someone muttering to him in the background.)

Customer: “Why the f*** did you think it was a good idea to say ‘heroin’ while I was on a call? What the f*** are you going to do if I go back to jail, huh?!”

(At that point I released the call, hoping the customer didn’t realize we were still connected and the only person I heard talking about illegal narcotics was him.)


The Final Word On Passwords, Part 5

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Technology

(I am working in a call center for tech support that handles area offices. A worker from a local office calls in upset because she can’t use her ‘new computer’.)

Me: “Can I get the name of the computer so I can check on it in our system?”

Customer: “[Computer].”

Me: “It looks like [Computer] is registered for [Other User] instead of your account…”

Customer: “Yes, it’s his computer, and it won’t take my password to use it.”

Me: “Are you using a password he gave you?”

Customer: “No, it’s my password, but it has his name here so it won’t work.”

Me: “So you are using your password with someone else’s username, on their computer, and you don’t know why it won’t work?”

(She hung up at this point, and I haven’t heard back from her since.)

The Final Word On Passwords, Part 4
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 3
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 2


A Surge Of Abuse

| CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Technology

(We get a call about one of our customer’s network not working on one floor of their place. I am quickly sent over to check on the problem and when I arrive, I find the owner of the company standing there looking quite displeased.)

Me: “Good afternoon! My name is [My Name] from [Company]; I hear you have a bit of a network problem?”

Owner: “Yes. You people installed my network two months ago and it’s broken.”

Me: “Uh oh, let’s see what’s going on!”

(He leads me downstairs to the main network router and modem. Sure enough everything on the main floor is working just fine, but the one running upstairs is showing no connection.)

Owner: “You charge me an arm and a leg, and everything is broken. I knew I should have gone with one of the dozen other companies around. You people just gave me s***ty equipment! You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?”

(I’ve all but tuned him out at this point, but I want to go have a look at the setup upstairs. I wait for a break in his rambling.)

Me: “Sir, can I have a look upstairs?”

Owner: “May as well…”

(He brings me upstairs and within a minute, I see the problem. He begins rambling again about how horrible we are at our jobs, how we just sold him broken equipment, and I stop him.)

Me: “Excuse me, [Owner]?”

Owner: “What?”

Me: “I understand being frustrated at equipment not working and paying a professional to fix your equipment, only to have it break, but please, I don’t appreciate the badmouthing right to my face. I was not employed with the company when your network was set up. Also—” *I flip the switch on the surge protector connected to his network switch to ON* “—you should be all set.”

(We check the computer and, sure enough, his network is working perfectly.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, [Owner]?”

(He is silent with this face of, “Oh…” and just turns and walks away to his office, closing the door behind him. His business partner peeks his head around the corner.)

Partner: “Really? That was it?”

Me: “Yes, it was.”

Partner: “Well, I’m very sorry to have to apologize for him, but I’m so sorry that he treated you that way. I promise, we’re not all like that here!”

(We shared a laugh and he showed me out. He was an incredibly friendly person. I headed back to my company, and apparently on my drive back, the partner had put a call in telling the owner how good of a job I did. I got a nice bonus for that one.)

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