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Needed It To Be Presented In Widescreen

, , | Learning | December 13, 2016

I work IT at a primary school. There’s one teacher who is an absolute disaster with computers. In the five years I’ve worked there she has ruined a lot of desktops and laptops by spilling coffee over them, letting them drop, covering ventilation holes with stickers, etc…

Finally I have enough and tell the school principal about how she handles expensive stuff. I have kept a log of all her “mishaps.”

The principal looks at my list but is not impressed. “Well, not everyone is as handy as you are with computers.”

I point out to him that until now the damage she has caused was over 3000 Euro. He doesn’t seem to care and he refuses to talk to the teacher to ask her to be a bit more careful.

A few weeks later I walk into the principal’s office, laughing my head off. He asks me what’s so funny.

I tell him that the clumsy teacher just managed to destroy a 84″ touch-screen television on a moveable lift. You’re supposed the set the lift to the lowest position before moving the television to prevent it from toppling over. Of course she “forgot” to do that, resulting in a 4000 Euro television crashing to the floor.

The principal stormed out of his office to finally have a word with the teacher.

Has A (Drinking) Problem With You

, , , , , | Learning | November 14, 2016

(I am pregnant with my first daughter. My husband and I attend prenatal classes. For reasons that I never figure out, the instructor takes a strong dislike to me. She glares at me for no apparent reason, looks pointedly at the clock when I arrive even though I am five minutes early for the class, and ignores me when I have a question.)

Instructor: “Any questions?”

Attendee: “Is it a good idea to take a birth plan with you to the hospital?”

Instructor: “Good question!” *gives answer* “Anyone else?”

Me: “I’ve heard that you shouldn’t drink alcohol at all during pregnancy. Is that true?”

Instructor: *gives me a nasty look* “I’ll answer that one after I’ve taken a few more questions.” *later* “Okay, [My Name], about your drinking problem…”

Me: “…”

(For the record, I didn’t touch a drop during my two pregnancies.)

A Poetic Resolution

, , | Learning | October 22, 2016

It is the first day of class with a horrible poetry teacher.

She knew kids hated poetry, so she hated all of us right off the bat.

She tells us that fifty percent of the grade would be to recite a memorized poem. I raise my hand and ask if I can do it right then.

She was completely shocked, and loved me for the rest of the year.

Some Substitutes Should Be Screened

, , , , , | Learning | October 11, 2016

(I’ve always had photosensitive epilepsy — meaning, under certain light conditions, I’ll have a seizure. This is in the early 2000s, where computer screens were a little primitive, and I am not allowed to use the screens at school. We have a substitute teacher, and she takes us to the lab.)

Substitute: “[My Name]! Why aren’t you getting onto a computer?”

Me: “I can’t, or else I’ll have a seizure.”

Substitute: “Do you have a doctor’s note?”

Me: “No, but everyone knows and my mom talked to [Principal]—”

Substitute: “No note, no excuse. You’re just trying to get out of work!”

(We argue for a while, but I am afraid of getting in trouble so I hop onto a screen. Less than five minutes later, I black out, and I wake up in the principal’s a couple of hours later…)

Principal: “[My Name]! We had a meeting saying you didn’t have to get on the screens. Why did you?”

Me: “[Substitute] told me to.”

(I didn’t really see much of that substitute after that! Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only teacher that didn’t believe me, but this was the only teacher that didn’t confirm that I wasn’t lying before forcing me onto a screen.)

This story is part of our Epilepsy roundup.

Read the next Epilepsy roundup story!

Read the Epilepsy roundup!

Got It A Brit Wrong

, , , , , | Learning | July 22, 2016

(This takes place in my geography class. We’re looking at Great Britain.)

Teacher: “Now, who can tell me what countries are part of Great Britain?”

(A few people raise their hands, including me, and the first couple of people get the question wrong. Finally, she gets to me.)

Me: “England, Scotland, and… Ireland?”

Teacher: “Close. It’s actually Wales, not Ireland.”

Other Student: *points and starts laughing at me*

Teacher: *glares at the other student* “You shut up. You guessed Italy and Germany were in there.”

This story is part of our Scotland themed roundup!

Read the next Scotland themed roundup story!

Read the Scotland themed roundup!