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Trick And/Or Treat

, , , , , , , | Right | November 17, 2011

(It’s getting close to Halloween. I’m doing my daily duties when I hear a woman talking to her son.)

Son: “Mom, can we get these candies for Halloween?”

Woman: “No! For the last time, we are not getting candy!”

Son: “Why not?!”

Woman: “I’m a teacher. Our house will get TP’d whether we have candy or not!”


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The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2011

(The customer is a middle-aged male, wearing a tweed jacket and thick glasses. He’s buying all of the ‘Twilight’ books.)

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “Yes, unfortunately. I’m really not looking forward to reading these.”

Me: “Oh, why not?”

Customer: “Well, I’m an English professor. Every time I reference low forms of literature, I always use Twilight as the example. Today a student asked if I’ve actually read them, and I had to say no. They demanded that I do.”

(He hung his head in shame.)

 

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Post-Grammatic Stress, Part 2

, , , , | Right | April 16, 2011

Me: “What date did you arrive in the UK?”

Customer: “Because I am teacher of English as second language.”

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Even Professors Fail At Pass(Words)

, , , | Right | April 30, 2010

(I am a student worker at my university’s IT help desk. Professors’ passwords are set to expire every 90 days. A professor having connection problems informs me he hasn’t changed his password in months.)

Me: “Oh, okay! I think that’s the issue here. Your password has probably expired and…”

Professor: “Expired?!”

Me: “Yes, they’re set to expire every ninety days for security.”

Professor: “Ninety days! Why don’t you tell us these things?”

Me: “I’m so sorry; usually we email professors at the beginning of term.”

Professor: “Well, you didn’t tell me! I didn’t get any emails from you people!”

Me: “I’m very sorry. Let me reset your password for you now so that you can connect.”

(I reset his password and write it down for him.)

Professor: “What the h*** is this?”

Me: “That’s the pound sign.”

Professor: “I know what it is! Why is it in my password?”

Me: “It’s a regulation from our administration. Your password has to have letters, numbers and special characters.”

Professor: “And when were you planning on telling us this?”

Me: “There should have been an email last week.”

Professor: “There was no email! Seriously, do you do anything? Where’s your boss? I need to speak with him.”

Me: “He’s out right now.”

Professor: “You need to let me know the moment he gets back.”

Me: “Of course. How should we notify you? We can send you an email?”

Professor: “Don’t email me. God! I never read those. Call my office phone.”

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This Little Piggy Went To H***

, , , , , | Right | March 6, 2008

Me: “Can I help you?”

Teacher: “Yes, I’ve forgotten my password and would like you to retrieve it for me.”

(I do some ID verification stuff.)

Me: “All right, just a moment. Okay, ma’am. Your password is…”

Teacher: *apparently remembering at the last minute* “Oh, no.”

Me: “Piggly… Wiggly… F***er.”

Teacher: *sheepishly* “Yeah… thank you.”

Me: *bursts out laughing*


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