Defiance Is The Best Teacher

, , , , | Right | August 25, 2012

(My friend, a former coworker, comes in on a Saturday to say hello. She is standing by the counter chatting with me when a regular customer comes in. I immediately go to serve her.)

Customer: “I’ll have a latte.” *looks at my friend* “You’re wearing that to work?!”

(My friend is wearing ripped jeans, a local band shirt, and boots you could kick through a wall with, as well as her nose stud and four rings in each ear.)

Friend: “I don’t work here anymore.”

Customer: “Well, no wonder, if you started showing up like a hooligan! Young people have no sense of professionalism these days! If I met you in the street, I’d think you were going to mug me!”

Friend: “Actually, I quit because I started a new job.”

Customer: “Doing what, exactly? Scaring children?”

Friend: “Sort of. I’m a kindergarten teacher.”

Customer: *gasps, grabs her latte, and runs out the door*


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Teachers Make A Difference

, , , | Right | August 8, 2012

(I’m working in the drive-thru, taking customer’s orders and their money. This customer’s daughter is sitting in the passenger’s seat.)

Me: “That’ll be $28.10. Thanks!”

(The customer hands me $50.10.)

Customer: “So, how much change do I get?”

Me: “$22.”

Customer: “You cheated! That was an easy one! Sorry, I’m a maths teacher.”

Me: *laughs* “Oh, that’s all right. But it’s the school holidays!”

Customer: “Maths doesn’t take holidays!”

Me: “You’re right. Well, enjoy the rest of your holidays!”

Customer’s Daughter: *looks very embarrassed* “Sorry, he does this everywhere we go!”


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Trick And/Or Treat

, , , , , , , | Right | November 17, 2011

(It’s getting close to Halloween. I’m doing my daily duties when I hear a woman talking to her son.)

Son: “Mom, can we get these candies for Halloween?”

Woman: “No! For the last time, we are not getting candy!”

Son: “Why not?!”

Woman: “I’m a teacher. Our house will get TP’d whether we have candy or not!”


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The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2011

(The customer is a middle-aged male, wearing a tweed jacket and thick glasses. He’s buying all of the ‘Twilight’ books.)

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “Yes, unfortunately. I’m really not looking forward to reading these.”

Me: “Oh, why not?”

Customer: “Well, I’m an English professor. Every time I reference low forms of literature, I always use Twilight as the example. Today a student asked if I’ve actually read them, and I had to say no. They demanded that I do.”

(He hung his head in shame.)

 

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Post-Grammatic Stress, Part 2

, , , , | Right | April 16, 2011

Me: “What date did you arrive in the UK?”

Customer: “Because I am teacher of English as second language.”

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