Spectator Sport Is A Spectator Sport

, , , , , , | Learning | January 11, 2018

(At school I’m in the band. Our director has a sense of humor and jokes around with us a lot. One day the following conversation happens.)

Director: “How many of you watch people play video games on YouTube?”

(Most of us raise our hands.)

Director: “Those with a raised hand, can you tell me why?”

(Again most of us raise our hands, and the director calls on someone.)

Student: “Do you watch football?”

Director: “Sometimes, why?”

Student: “Well, why do you watch football?”

Skirting Around The Issue

, , , , | Learning | November 3, 2017

(I teach ESL. I tend to dress very plain-Jane usually, so when I do dress up I sometimes get funny reactions.)

Student #1: “[Teacher]! You’re wearing earrings!”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Student #1: “What’s wrong?”

(A different day with a different student:)

Student #2: *smiling* “[Teacher]! You’re wearing a skirt.”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Student #2: “You have date today? You see boyfriend?” *wiggles eyebrows*

Me: “No… no. I need to do my laundry.”

Got To HAND It To Her

, , , , , | Learning | August 24, 2017

(In grade five, my class is given a writing assignment where we have to make step-by-step instructions for making a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. I feel confident about how thorough mine are, so when the teacher asks who would like to read them out, I volunteer. She has come to class equipped with sandwich-making supplies so that she can follow our directions as we read.)

Me: “‘… use a knife to scoop up some peanut butter while holding the jar…'”

(I am staring at my notebook while I read it out, and suddenly the entire class erupts in laughter. I look up to see my teacher standing on one foot, ‘holding’ the jar with her other one, and trying to scoop up peanut butter while the jar keeps scooting across the desk.)

Me: “With your HAND!”

(She was an awesome teacher.)

What A Crumby Way To Be Treated

, , | Learning | August 23, 2017

(I grew up in a rural area, where teachers’ behavior tends to be relaxed. Students in the higher years are usually on first name basis with their teachers. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t demand respect. One day, between classes.)

Classmate: *runs up to Teacher while he’s busy talking with a colleague* “[Teacher]! I wanted to tell you—”

Teacher: *cutting him off* “[Classmate], while the cakes are talking, the crumbs get to shut up. Wait your turn.”

The Teacher Is The Meanest Girl

, , , , , | Learning | August 22, 2017

(This is an advanced psychology class, and we have finished our finals so the teacher is letting us watch a movie. He has a collection of movies that in some way deal with psychology, and explains about each one a bit.)

Teacher: “Okay, so, this one is Mean Girls. Lindsay Lohan is in this one; she was so good in Parent Trap. But now she’s a sinner, what with her dancing and language.”

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