Quit When You Reach Your Tea Total

| Working | June 28, 2015

(I worked in the tea house but quit because of our boss’ made up a lot of new crazy rules I wasn’t willing to obey. One day I went to see my former co-workers and this happened.)

Boss: “Hey, [Coworker], why did you rearrange the boxes with tea again?”

Coworker: “It was arranged according the types of tea for ages. Why did you change it?”

Boss: “I want it according the colours of boxes. Now it looks better.”

Coworker: “They are under the counter, no one sees that, and I can’t find a thing that way.”

Boss: “Doesn’t matter.”

(5 minutes later:)

Boss: “[Coworker], you gave that man three pieces of tomato with his couscous. I told you to give two.”

Coworker: “It was really small tomato so I gave him three.”

Boss: “I don’t care about the size of tomato. You gave him three!”

(10 minutes later:)

Boss: “[Coworker], ask that woman if she wants to order something.”

Coworker: “She just finished her coffee.”

Boss: “Doesn’t matter. If she doesn’t order something make her go away.”

Coworker: “There are only four people. You want me to kick her out because of that? She is talking to her friend who has a tea. They are paying customers.”

Boss: “I don’t care. Get the order or kick her out.” *walks away*

Me: “That’s why I quit.”

Coworker: “One more thing and I’m out. Pay isn’t good either.”

(15 minutes later:)

Boss: “[Coworker], you talked with those ladies for seven minutes!”

Coworker: “What’s the problem?”

Boss: “You can talk with customer for three minutes max.”

Coworker: “Eh? Why? They are here for the first time and asked me about our menu. I tried to help them choose the tea they would like.”

Boss: “You can’t chit chat with the customers. You have to be behind the counter and look professional.”

Coworker: “I can’t change my shift, I can’t take a break when I need, and now I can’t even talk to the customers?”

Boss: “Right. And don’t forget to update our Facebook so people know about our new menu.”

Coworker: “Okay. I quit. [My Name], let’s go.” *he takes off his apron*

Boss: “You can’t do that! You have to finish your shift! I can force you to finish your shift!”

Coworker: “Make me.”

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I’ve Been Mugged

| Right | January 26, 2015

(There are a number of customers in the store, including a younger woman and older woman who are looking at many of the same things. I see the older woman take a mug from the younger woman and bring it to the counter with a few other items.)

Me: “These mugs are great! Did you find everything today?”

Older Woman: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: “That’ll be [price]. Would you like anything else today? A cup to go?”

Older Woman: “No, thank you.”

(She pays and leaves the store. I think it’s a bit odd that she didn’t wait for the younger woman. The younger woman comes to the counter, with a different mug, some tea and some more gift items.)

Me: “Hey! I really do love these mugs! Great choice. Did you find everything okay today?”

Younger Woman: “Well, no. I wanted the green mug but that woman grabbed it out of my hands…”

Me: “Oh, my god! I thought you guys were together and she was buying it for you! I’m so sorry. I should’ve said something!”

Younger Woman: “Yeah; I was pretty stunned. I didn’t know what to say.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. Here the mug’s on us today since she took the last one in that design.”

Younger Woman: “Oh! Thank you.”

(I felt so bad, but we definitely don’t have training on what to do about customer to customer theft!)

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Wishing For Pun Tea-Total

| Working | January 19, 2015

(I am in a tea store the other day checking out some white tea. The employee helping us was very nice and knowledgeable, but she made some AWFUL puns.)

Employee: “So this tea used to be reserved for the Imperial Family of China. I guess you could say it’s… Royal-Tea!”

Us: *groan*

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Your Logic Is Fishy

| Right | May 24, 2012

(I work at a farmer’s market. One customer is a Thursday regular who always buys single teabags.)

Customer: “I am looking for a good green tea.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I certainly have a large selection—”

Customer: *holding up a Sushi Bar Green Tea* “Oh my lord, this doesn’t have real sushi in it, does it?”

Me: “What? Oh! No. That just means it is like the green tea found at sushi bars.”

Customer: “Oh, good! For a minute there, I thought it was raw fish flavored!”

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A State Of Mindlessness, Part 3

| Right | August 4, 2011

(A customer with a thick Southern-US accent comes in, starts looking at me and frowns.)

Customer: “Hey, you.”

Me: “Hello, madam. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you understand me?”

Me: “Why, yes, I do.”

Customer: *sighs* “But my friend told me all you stupid hicks up here speak Spanish!”

Me: “Well, that’s a bit odd. We aren’t located anywhere near Mexico, Spain or anywhere in Europe.”

Customer: “Liar! Just so you know, I went to college and I know d*** well where this state is!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You b****! You’re a stupid hick who thinks she knows everything! I know d*** well where this state is!”

Me: “I’m quite certain Montana is located in the northwest corner of the USA.”

Customer: “Ugh! Make me teach the brainless rednecks! It’s not in the northwest, you dumb f***! It’s in the south, by the country Idaho!”

Me: *speechless*

(The customer rolls her eyes and storms out of the store.)

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