Their Brain Is French-Fried

| BC, Canada | Right | October 2, 2013

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “From Quebec.”

Customer: “Quebec? Is that the province that speaks French?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “But how come you can speak in English?”

Me: *looking at him in disbelief*

Customer: “And when you started to speak in English, did you choose to have a French accent?”

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Driving Away The Tips

| Midway Airport, Chicago, IL, USA | Working | September 11, 2013

(Our Amtrak train from San Francisco has been delayed. We’ve missed our connection and we have been given cash, hotel vouchers, and airline tickets to Buffalo, NY. We take a taxi from downtown Chicago to Midway. Because Amtrak has given us a generous cash allowance, I give a more than usual tip of $15 on a $35 fare.)

Taxi Driver: “Hey, this tip is not enough!”

(He holds out the $15.)

Me: “Let’s see that.”

(I take the $15, and put it back in my pocket.)

Taxi Driver: “S***! You can’t do that!”

Me: “Yes I can. If you have any more complaints, make them to that cop over there!”

(He drives off, cursing.)

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With Late Hour Comes Great Nobility

| Bolton, UK | Working | July 12, 2013

(After seeing a movie, I’ve just missed the last train back to my hometown. I start to panic slightly as the next one is not until 4 am, and I have work the next day. So, I jump into a hackney carriage but realize it’s the end of his shift, so I open the door to leave; he stops me.)

Cabbie: “Don’t worry about it. Where you going?”

Me: “Erm, [town], please.”

Cabbie: “Okey dokey, then.”

(We start to drive and I see the meter tick on upwards. I have recently lost my job, and the movie I saw was a treat from a friend. I look into my purse and see how little I have, and decide to stop him.)

Me: “Oh, you can stop here, thanks.”

Cabbie: “Oh… but we’re barely in [town].”

Me: “I know my way from here. Anyway, I only have a little cash on me.”

Cabbie: “I don’t mind stopping by an ATM.”

Me: “No… erm… this is all the money I have until I …erm… get my benefits. I just lost my job you see and… well, I missed the last train tonight because the tram was delayed.”

(I stay quiet for a moment to compose myself. Then, I try to hand him the money through the hole. )

Cabbie: “This trip is free of charge.” *turns off meter*

Me: “No, I insist. You’ve done me a service and I should pay you for it.”

Cabbie: “Look love, I’ll be honest: I had literally just finished my shift when you climbed into the back there. You have been nothing but kind. You are a young lady worried about getting home at 2 am and instead of insisting I take you home, you were going to leave and potentially be stuck in [town] for most of the night. You were also very honest. I spend most of my nights trying to MAKE people pay their fare!”

Me: “Thank you!”

(I’m in tears and still try to leave, but he stops me again.)

Cabbie: “Don’t be ridiculous! You wanted to go to [town] and I shall take you there!”

(The cabbie actually did drive me all the way home free of charge. I will never forget his kindness. I’ve since found a new job, but now, every time I get a cab, I give the driver a few pound extra for his trouble.)

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He-Never-Saur That Coming

| Oregon, USA | Working | March 31, 2013

(During the winter months, I’m a regular user of the local taxi service. One night, they have a new guy. Note that I work at a call center.)

Driver: “So what do you do between calls up there?”

Me: “Oh, play with my dinosaur toys.”

Driver: “You’re HOW old?”

Me: “…Old enough to not care.”

Driver: “Does your boyfriend know you play with dinosaur toys?”

Me: “I’m actually engaged to a woman in England, but yes, she does.”

Driver: “…Oh.”

Got A Taxi-ing Search Ahead Of Them

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Right | December 19, 2012

(My friend and I are just about to get out of a cab at 4 am when two girls approach the driver.)

Girl: “I forgot something in the last cab.”

Driver: “Which cab?”

Girl: “I don’t know.”

Driver: “Do you know which cab company?”

Girl: “No.”

Driver: “There are lots of companies.”

Girl: “Some old guy.”

Driver: “There are lots of old guys…”

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