This Driver Can Go To Hail

| Waterloo, ON, Canada | Working | August 23, 2012

(My boyfriend and I were going to take a cab home from a restaurant. My boyfriend holds the door of the cab open for me, so there are a few seconds where I am alone with the cab driver.)

Me: “Hello, we’ll be going to [hotel name], over on [street name].”

Cab Driver: “Sorry, I don’t take directions from women. Just wait until he gets in the car.”

Me: *dumbfounded*

(As soon as my boyfriend gets into the car…)

Cab Driver: “…And where will you be going today?”

We Can Either Do This The Long Way Or The Long Way

| Albury, Australia | Right | March 4, 2012

(A passenger hails my taxi outside a bar.)

Me: “Good evening, sir. Where would you like to go?”

Passenger: “Take me to [other bar, about a $10 fare], and make sure you go the shortest way! Don’t be taking the long way around to get more money!”

Me: “Of course, I was going to go my usual way, which is the shortest and cheapest. Is that okay?”

Passenger: “No! That’s the long way! Take me this way.”

(The passenger proceeds to guide me on an angled course that adds at least 40% to the trip.)

Passenger: “Now, that’s the way you go! I’ve got you taxi drivers all figured out. You always try to go that other way, but mine is better!”

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Misadventures In Time And Space

, | MN, USA | Right | April 25, 2011

Me: “[Taxi call center], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh my goodness. I need a cab right now!”

Me: “Alright, we’ll try and work fast as we can for you. What is the address we’re picking you up from?”

Customer: “1234 Smith Ave.”

Me: “That address is not showing up in our system. Is there a direction on Smith Ave? North, south, east or west?”

Customer: “I think it’s 1234 Smith Ave. Or it could be John St.”

Me: “Alright. If you’re not sure of the address, is there someone there you can ask, please?”

Customer: “Oh, this is my place.”

Me: “You don’t know your address? Do you receive mail at your home? Could you look at the address on that for me?”

Customer: “Hold on. Oh! It’s 1234 North Smith Ave!”

Me: “Okay, that went into the system just fine. We’ll try and get a cab over to you as soon as possible.”

Customer: “Oh dear. What time is it?”

Me: “It’s about 9:15.”

Customer: “Oh no! In the morning?”

Me: “No, it’s 9:15pm…at night.”

Customer: “Oh, good! I didn’t miss my appointment. I need a cab for the morning! I’ll call back then! Thank you! Bye!” *click*

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Fairly Foolish Fares

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Right | December 15, 2010

(It’s 4 AM and I’m driving a college-aged girl home.)

Passenger: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure.”

Passenger: “You know the ducks in Central Park?”

Me: “Yes?”

Passenger: “Where do they go for the winter? When the lake freezes.”

Me: “I think they fly south.”

Passenger: “Really?”

Me: “To Florida, I think.”

Passenger: “That’s so weird. Are you Jewish?”

Me: “I’m Italian, actually.”

Passenger: “You sound really Jewish.”

Me: “Well, I’m from Long Island. Maybe it’s my accent.”

Passenger: “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Me: “Okay.”

Passenger: “Are people born in 1987 the lost generation?”

Me: “Um…”

(The entire cab ride was like this.)

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