I drive a taxi. In the mid- to late 2000s, I picked up a man and his five- or six-year-old son late one Saturday evening. Back then, we had small screens mounted behind the front seats. They showed news and commercials to those sitting in the back seat.

The boy asked:

Boy: “Dad, what is on those screens?”

Dad: “News.”

Boy: “That’s boring. What is it about?”

Dad: “About some people in jail.”

Boy: “Who are they?”

Dad: “Some people in Iraq.”

I then recognised the story, which was about some 24,000 Iraqis who, at that point in time, were imprisoned by the Americans. This made the last comment rather funny.

Boy: “What are their names?”

I drive for a popular rideshare app in a town of 55,000 people. Tonight, I get one ride that leads me to a golf course to pick someone up. Once I get near, I receive an automated phishing text with the usual florid language and bad grammar asking for my credentials to send a huge payment. Not being an idiot, I instead send the local police department number and cancel the ride. I figure at least it’s the weirdest thing that will happen to me tonight.

My next pickup seems normal enough until she texts asking if I can pick her up in the alley. That’s not too unusual for this city and housing layouts. When I arrive to pick her up, she is hiding behind a large trash bin… pantsless.

I am thinking surely this can’t be my rider… but no… it is. Unfortunately for me, I have a sense of chivalry and don’t want to leave her there cowering in the dark half-naked. I drive her home. I’m fairly certain she is on meth. She keeps complaining about her lazy husband not wanting to come to pick her up.

I’m so glad I carry disinfectant with me.

I’m a taxi driver. In the autumn of 2020, I picked up an elderly lady. When we got to her destination, the meter read 90 DKK (Danish Kroner) — roughly 15 US dollars at that time. She handed me a 100 DKK note.

Customer: “You also deserve a tip.”

Rather than the Danish word for “tip,” she used a term for a coin (skilling) that went out of circulation on January 1st, 1875. For some time after that, the term was used to designate a small but unspecified amount of money. My grandparents who were both born before 1920 used it occasionally, but I had never heard anyone younger than that use the term.

The lady then held out her hand indicating that she expected the 10 DKK back. She put the 10 DKK coin in her small clutch wallet and then rummaged around a bit and came up with a 2 DKK coin (roughly 33 cents USD). She gave me the 2-DKK coin and looked rather pleased with herself. As I always do when I get a tip, I said:

Me: “Thank you very much.”

And, of course, I gave her a hand getting out of my taxi.

I couldn’t help thinking that she lived very much in the past.

One evening, a fare came up on the screen in my taxi. I could see that I was supposed to do some shopping, but that I had to go to the customer’s address first to get the specifics.

When I arrived, I started the meter, went to the door, and rang the doorbell. The door was opened by a man wearing nothing but an adult diaper. He spent the entire thirty seconds I was there with one hand roaming around inside the front of that diaper.

The man told me that he needed a bottle of vodka and a bottle of cola. Somewhat grossed out, I just turned around and went back to my taxi. Then, I called my taxi company and explained why I was unable to complete the fare I had been given and suggested that none of my colleagues would be interested in that particular one, either.

I am playing cards with some friends when one of them, a cabbie by profession, gets a phone call. In the silence of the small room, we can hear both sides.

Caller: “Interpreted call for [Rider].”

Friend: “Go ahead.”

Caller: “She needs to be driven to a few locations at 2:00 pm tomorrow.”

Friend: “I’m sorry, I can’t. I am already booked tomorrow at 2:00 pm.”

Caller: “Why not?”

There are some funny looks and quiet laughs from the rest of us.

Friend: “Because… I have other clients?”

Caller: “How about the fourteenth at 2:00 pm?”

Friend: “Okay… Wait! Tomorrow is the fourteenth!”