Taxi’ing Morning

| AB, Canada | Working | February 2, 2016

(I have a job interview in the morning at nine. I get up early enough to have plenty of time and zip outside to start my vehicle so it can warm up a bit since it is -30C outside. I start the vehicle, lock the doors thinking I have my spare set in my purse, I run back into the garage where I fall face first, hurting both knees quite badly. I get up, finish getting ready, go to my vehicle to start work and I can’t get into my vehicle, I’ve locked both sets of my vehicle keys in there. And now I’ve shut the garage door on my way out so I’m essentially locked out of my house and my vehicle, it’s -30C and I have a job interview in 30 minutes. I call a cab company, panicking, explain what’s happened and they send someone out.)

Me: “Thank you so much for coming so fast, I know you guys are busy this morning.”

Cab Driver: “No problem, my boss said you sounded pretty panicked.”

Me: “Yeah, I have a job interview in 30 minutes and I’m locked out of my house and my running vehicle is close to empty so I need a ride to my mum’s house so I can get my other spare vehicle key, then a ride back to my house to pick up my vehicle.”

Cab Driver: “Oh, that’s no good! Okay, I’ll hurry up then.”

(The cab driver gets through town super fast, waits for me to grab my spare key, drives me back to my car then…)

Cab Driver: “I’ll follow you to the gas station to make sure you get there in time. Worst case I’ll zip you over to your job interview at least.”

(Worst interview morning ever. Best cab driver ever. I tipped him big and he followed me to the gas station. Didn’t get the job, but after that morning, I was just glad I got to the interview on time – all thanks to him!)


Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

Owns These Streets

| Sweden | Related | December 19, 2015

(I am driving a family to a restaurant. There is a mother, father, their teenage son, and his grandfather.)

Grandfather: “Hey! You need to turn; you’re going down the wrong street!”

Me: “I know that, but in order to get where we’re going we have to go down this street first, AND THEN turn. From where we came from I couldn’t pull directly onto the street we are going to, but we’ll be back on track in no time.”

(There are a few seconds of silence.)

Son: “Owned, Grandpa.”

Minus 25 Degrees For Plus 25 Minutes

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Working | December 4, 2015

(The following takes place on a day when the temperature is -25 degrees Celsius.)

Me: “Hi, can I get a cab at [Address], please?”

Dispatcher: “Is that an apartment or a house?”

Me: “It’s a townhouse, but the complex I live in can be confusing. It would probably be best for me to meet the driver in the parking lot.”

Dispatcher: “Sounds good.” *goes to hang up*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, do you have any idea how long it will be?”

Dispatcher: *annoyed* “I don’t know. Why do people always ask me that?”

Me: “Well, in my case, it’s because I can’t see the parking lot from my window. I’m going to be standing outside… in Canada… in the winter… and I want to be out there for as little time as possible.”

Dispatcher: “Well, I dunno… 5-30 minutes, anyway.” *hangs up*

Pizza Is What Drives You Home

| Kyoto, Japan | Working | May 6, 2015

(It’s midwinter and raining, and I’ve gotten off work quite late, so I decide to pick up a pizza for my family and take a cab home to save time. I ask the cabbie if it is okay, and he says no problem. We start driving toward my apartment.)

Driver: “To be honest with you, I’m starving. I was just thinking about taking a break and grabbing some dinner. I hope you don’t mind me cracking the windows? The smell’s driving me crazy.”

Me: *awkwardly* “Haha, no problem! Sorry about this.”

(As he drives, he keeps making small comments about how hungry he is. I’m feeling really guilty, and I half-considered trying to leave him a slice. We get to my apartment and I pay.)

Driver: “Thank you for riding with [Taxi Service]. Make sure you don’t leave anythi— Actually, it’s fine if you do.”

Won’t Go Down For Downtown

| MI, USA | Right | April 7, 2015

(We occasionally get calls from hotels to arrange transportation for their guests. This happened on a Sunday evening.)

Hotel Clerk: “Hi, I was wondering if you could take a guest of mine? He wants… Where do you want to go, sir?”

(I can hear the guest in the background, very loud and rude.)

Hotel Clerk: “He wants to go downtown. How much is that?”

Me: “With us, that’s $30, one way. I can speak with him, if you’d like.”

(The clerk proceeds to hand the phone over. The customer is audibly drunk.)

Customer: “How much is it to go downtown?”

Me: “It’s $30 with our service, sir.”

Customer: “No, no, no, no, no. No. I’ll give you $20.”

Me: “Our prices are firm, sir. We are a luxury service.”

Customer: “Well, aren’t you just precious. You’re so sweet; I’m going to give you $20 for it and that’s all.”

Me: “No. We will not go below $30 for this trip, sir.”

Customer: “Who do you think you are? I can call up any cab service for less, but I’m offering to give you $20 for this.”

(At this point, the clerk grabs the phone away from his guest.)

Hotel Clerk: *clearly desperate* “So can you take him?!”

Me: “He’s drunk, isn’t he?”

Hotel Clerk: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry you have to put up with him, but he’s not getting in one of my vehicles. Here’s the number to a cab service. They’re going to be cheaper and they might actually put up with him. Best of luck. He cannot be easy to have right in front of you.”

Hotel Clerk: *defeated* “Okay. Thanks.”

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