More Taxing Than It Should Be

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Working | October 21, 2016

(I call a local taxi service on a Sunday when buses aren’t running. A man answers.)

Man: “Do you need a taxi?”

Me: “Yes, I do—”

Man: “Too bad!” *hangs up*

One Of Them Is Not Very Personable

, | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Right | September 19, 2016

Caller: “Hi, can I get a maxi taxi?”

Me: “Sure. Is that for a wheelchair or group of people?”

Caller: “There are four people travelling. Two adults and three children.”

Me: “…”

Taxing Pranking

| Chester, England, UK | Right | September 13, 2016

(I work as a telephone and radio operator. I’m responsible for giving jobs out to drivers and taking bookings. In the early evening, I get a call from a fairly young boy.)

Me: “[Taxi Company].”

Kid: “Yeah, I need a taxi, please, as soon as possible. We need to go out within about ten minutes.”

Me: “Okay. What’s the address?”

Kid: “It’s [Address].”

Me: “That’s great, but I don’t recognise you.”

Kid: “Sorry?”

Me: “I don’t recognise your voice at all. I’ve only got two children, as far as I know, and neither of them sound like you.”

Kid: “What?”

Me: “You’ve just requested a taxi from [Address], right?”

Kid: “Yeah.”

Me: “And that’s where you live?”

Kid: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s where I live, too. Why would you want a taxi from my house?”

(The kid immediately hung up. I phoned my wife, and apparently she’d had a taxi driver knock on the door after waiting outside for five minutes. The kid had sent one car from at least four different companies to our address. No idea where they’d got our address, or why they were doing it, but they stopped after phoning me!)

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Ubers

| Chicago, IL, USA | Romantic | September 12, 2016

(I pick up a woman in downtown Chicago while driving for a ride share service. She makes small talk as we approach her condo, late in the evening.)

Customer: “So I imagine that you have long days?”

Me: “Sometimes, but I generally only do this part time.”

Customer: “Are you going to be done driving after my trip?”

Me: “Not really. I was planning on a couple more hours.”

Customer: *as I park in front of her address* “Well, you could come up if you want. I’ve had a long day and am looking for something to distract me.” *indicates her admittedly very nice looking condo*

Me: “Thanks, but I’m good.”

(I scratch the back of my head with my left hand in order to show my wedding ring.)

Customer: “Are you sure? I really need some company and it would be a lot of fun.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure I’m good. And I’m pretty sure my wife is sure as well. I hope you have a pleasant evening, though.”

Customer: “Well, if you’re sure, but you can always come back as you know where I live now.”

Me: *somewhat speechless and just hoping she’ll leave without a fuss*

Customer: “Okay…” *leaves after spending a few more seconds staring at me through the rear view mirror*

(I don’t know if I got rated lower for refusing her “request.”)

The Other Taxi Is Streets Ahead

| Portland, OR, USA | Working | July 12, 2016

(I live in a corner house so I can see the next few streets over. I call for a cab to get me to work because my bike has a flat tire that I don’t have time to fix.)

Taxi Dispatch: “Your taxi will be there in about five minutes.”

(Fifteen minutes later, it hasn’t arrived so I call back and sit on hold for five minutes when I receive a phone call.)

Taxi Driver #1: “Hey, I’m in front of your house”

Me: “No, you’re not. I’m standing on the porch.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Yes, I’m in front of your house. It’s [my address].”

Me: “Yes, that’s my address, but you’re not here. I’m standing right here and your cabs are bright orange, kinda hard to miss.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Yes, I’m in front of your house.”

Me: “Are you sure you didn’t pull into [next street over]? I just saw an orange car turn onto that road.”

Taxi Driver #1: “No, I’m on [my street], in front of your house.”

Me: “I don’t know how I can say this any other way, you’re not in front of my house. I would know.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Yes, I am on [my street].”

(This goes on for far too long and I would have just hung up but I am in a hurry. Luckily another cab from a different company drives by and I flag it down.)

Me: *to new cab* “Are you free?”

Taxi Driver #2: “Yeah, hop in. Where are we going?”

Me: *on phone* “Cancel that ride, I just found another cab.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Oh, you’re right. I am on [next street over].”

(He then drove the wrong way on a one way street to come over to my street, but I was already in the second cab and the driver was programming his GPS.)

Taxi Driver #1: *stops his car in the middle of the street and glares at me and the other driver until we leave*

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