They’re Uber Demanding

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | June 18, 2016

(I am manning a taxi stand at a sports complex hosting a national cheerleading competition. I am offering complimentary cold water to guests who are using our taxi service, as it is sometimes hot and humid in the Sunshine State. I am approached by two adults and a child who appears to be nine or ten years old.)

Dad: “We would like to go to [Destination].”

Me: “Certainly, sir. Can I offer anyone a cold water for the ride?”

Dad: “That would be great.” *takes water and turns to daughter* “Honey, would you like a cold water?”

Daughter: *crosses arms, frowns* “I WANT A STRAWBERRY LEMONADE.”

Dad: *turns to me, thrusts the water in my direction* “She wants a strawberry lemonade.”

Me: “No strawberry lemonade here, sir. Just complimentary water.

Dad: “BUT SHE WANTS STRAWBERRY LEMONADE!”

Me: “…”

(I close the door and watch the taxi drive away.)

Coworker: “Did that just happen?”

Me: “I’m going to start weeping for the future now.”

Very Taxing Taxiing

| Chicago, IL, USA | Working | June 7, 2016

(I’ve called a taxi three hours before a domestic flight. I live 20 minutes from the airport, so I figure this will be plenty of time to get there and through security. I get in the cab. A hellfire and brimstone sermon is playing loudly on the radio.)

Taxi Driver: *shouts over radio* “There’s construction, so I’m going to take a shortcut.”

Me: “Sure, cool. Your depot is a few blocks from my house, so you must know the routes to the airport best.”

Taxi Driver: “Yes, yes.”

(I start reading my book and look up to an unfamiliar residential area. I check my GPS and see we’re now 25 minutes in the opposite direction!)

Me: “Um, this is kind of a strange way to get to the airport…”

Taxi Driver: “No problem! No problem, miss! It’s a shortcut.”

Me: “Okay…” *that’s not what my phone says at all*

(A couple minutes pass, and the driver pulls over at a gas station.)

Taxi Driver: “I’m going to stop and ask for directions.”

Me: “I know how to get there, and I have GPS…”

Taxi Driver: *ignores me, gets out and goes to ask the cashier, and then comes back* “Okay! Easy, we’ll take a shortcut.”

(He turns out and goes the wrong way again. Now I’m a little scared.)

Me: “Really, I can set my GPS on the dash if that’s easiest. Or I can read you the directions. Turn north, take exit two—”

Taxi Driver: “No, no. I know how to get there. I don’t know how to use that.”

(He pulls over again by two men walking down the sidewalk.)

Taxi Driver: “EXCUSE ME! TELL ME HOW TO GET TO THE AIRPORT?!”

(The men look confused and shake their heads. This continues with the next person he passes as well. I seriously consider jumping out of the moving car.)

Me: “Please follow my directions! I know how to get there; I live here. My flight leaves in an hour and ten minutes and I’m going to miss it!”

Taxi Driver: “Oh, okay, fine, FINE! But that’s plenty of time! We can make it there in an hour!”

(Apparently the guy didn’t know that there’s a cutoff for check-in and baggage long before boarding, as well as TSA. I gave him step by step directions and made it to the airport with six minutes to spare for check-in. He still aggressively demanded a good tip.)

Your Checkout Does Not Check Out

| USA | Working | May 15, 2016

(Each cab at the company I work for is checked out by the driver each shift. When it’s checked out, it’s the driver’s responsibility to make sure the little things are taken care of. There is one coworker who is incredibly lazy and complains about everything. We’re talking over their walkie-talkies.)

Coworker: “This is such bull-s***.”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “Whoever had cab [number] last left it trashed! There’s [Fast Food] wrappers everywhere!” *continues to rant a few minutes*

Me: *checks the previous week’s schedule* “Um… [Coworker]…? You were the last one to check out that cab.”

Coworker: “…”

Will Change His Attitude After That

| Glens Falls, NY, USA | Working | April 27, 2016

(I have gone grocery shopping and am literally down to my last cents, which means paying the taxi driver in loose change. Most drivers don’t complain; especially since they always need change.)

Me: *counts out quarters and dimes to equal $3.25*

Driver: “Ugh, more f****** change!”

Me: *hands him exact change* “Don’t worry, I won’t give you a tip in change.”

(He got even more aggravated, but I’m betting he learnt to shut his mouth after that.)

Took That Shuttle To Crazy Town

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Working | April 7, 2016

(I don’t have a car and my family lives next to an airport. When I was going to school I often used an airport shuttle to get to and from my house in between breaks to save my parents time. My mom mentioned paying for a shuttle I never used, but she often gets confused so I am calling to make a reservation.)

Me: “Hi.”

Woman: “What can I help you with?”

Me: “I’m not sure, but I think I have a credit from before. If not I can pay but I just want to—”

Woman: “Okay. Well do you actually have your confirmation number?”

Me: “I don’t think—”

Woman: “OR a phone number?”

Me: “I’m not sure if my mom used my phone number or hers but here’s mine; XXX-XXX-XXXX.”

Woman: “Okay, but do you actually have a date?”

Me: “I thought you could use my phone number?”

Woman: *she’s starting to use a baby voice* “MA’AM, I am just trying to FIND your reservation but I DON’T have your confirmation number.”

Me: “I know I don’t have all the information you want, but there’s no reason for you to be so sarcastic. I’m giving you the alternate information you asked for.”

Woman: *higher pitched baby voice* “I don’t know what you mean? I’m just trying to HELP you.”

Me: “What’s your name?”

Woman: *in racist accent* “Juan. Pablo. Tim.”

Me: “What is your name?”

Woman: “Oscar the Grouch.”

Me: “When do you stop working? I really don’t want to talk to you anymore and want to call back later and talk to someone else.”

(I now realize that could sound like I wanted to wait for her in the parking lot, but spending any time near her was the furthest thing from my mind.)

Woman: “I’m just TRYING to help you, ma’am.”

Me: “Can you just check to see if I have a credit?”

Woman: “You didn’t give me the date.”

Me: “It would be my most recent trip.”

Woman: *voice suddenly becoming conversational* “Oh, you know. This system is so crappy and old I just get frustrated.”

Me: “Why were you angry?”

Woman: “Oh, well, people lie all the time to get free rides. I wasn’t even looking any of your information up. Honestly I was just trying to make you go away.”

Me: “…”

Woman: “What was the phone number again?”

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