That Will Be Some Epic Meter Fare

, , , , | Working | July 11, 2018

(I get a cab through an app to drive me to the airport so I won’t have to leave my car there. The following exchange happens right after she drops me off.)

Driver: “Okay, we’re here. Have a good day!”

Me: “Thank you. Here’s your money.”

Driver: *totally serious* “And when will you need picking up?”

Me: “In about three weeks?”

Driver: “Oh.” *drives off*

(What was she going to do?! Sit there at the airport until I came back?)

Unfiltered Story #115810

, , | Unfiltered | July 4, 2018

I pull up to this man’s house and wait outside. While I wait I am listening to REM’s MTV unplugged album on a playlist of non-objectionable acoustic rock. It is my first ride of the night so I am energized and I have a very friendly demeanor. My rider comes out and he has a miserable scowl on his face.

Me: Hello, _____. How are you this evening?

Customer: I’m fine. Please turn off the music.

Me: OK. Would you like to listen to something else?

Customer: No. No music. I don’t like music.

Me: …..

Tipped To Be A Bad Ride

, , , | Working | April 24, 2018

(My dad, my best friend, and I have attended a concert in New York. It has just let out and we are heading to New Jersey, so we hail a cab.)

Me: “Penn Station, please. Take 7th Avenue.”

Driver: “No, I’m going down 5th Avenue. There is too much traffic on 7th.”

(To get to 5th from where we were, we’d have to get through the MASSIVE crowd of people who just exited the concert hall.)

Me: “Sir, the concert just let out. It’ll take twice as long to get through this traffic. Please do not go to 5th. If 7th is too messy, then go up to 9th and go down.”

Driver: “NO, I AM GOING 5TH! You are wrong, and you don’t know what you’re talking about!”

(At this point the driver is SCREAMING at me. My dad suddenly chimes in.)

Dad: “Oh. Well, someone’s not getting a tip.”

(The driver eventually listened to me and went my way. We had no problems. But for screaming at me, my dad did stiff him on the tip.)

It Isn’t The Wild West Anymore

, , , , | Right | April 12, 2018

(I work as a cab driver in Las Vegas. While I have a fair share of stupid customers, this one really takes the cake. I accept the radio call telling me to pick up a passenger at the public bus depot downtown. As I am on my way there, I call the customer to verify where I am picking them up. It is near sunset.)

Passenger: “I’m standing at [Street] and [Wrong Street Name].”

Me: “Do you mean [Correct Street Name]? That puts you on the east side of the building. I can only pick you up on [Street], on the west side of the building.”

Passenger: “Well, I just moved here and don’t know where that is.”

Me: “It’s on the west side of the building.”

Passenger: “I don’t know which direction that is.”

Me: *proceeds to pull over and slam forehead onto steering wheel*

An A-mall-ing Lack Of Attention

, , , , | Right | April 8, 2018

(My house is right across the street from a strip mall which, while occasionally convenient, doesn’t have a grocery store. I’m waiting at a bus stop so I can go to a different mall, which does sell food, when a very nice taxi driver parks beside the bus stop.)

Taxi Driver: “Do you need a ride somewhere?”

Me: “Yes, thank you.”

(I get in the cab and this happens.)

Taxi Driver: “Where would you like to go?”

Me: “Not too far, just to [Mall across the street].”

Taxi Driver: “That’s right here; can’t you walk?”

Me: “Not that mall, I mean the one with [Grocery Store].”

Taxi Driver: “What mall is that?”

Me: “Well… um… It has [Restaurant exclusive to that mall].”

Taxi Driver: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Me: “I’ll take the bus. Sorry about that.”

Taxi Driver: “That’s okay.”

(I got out of the cab. That’s when it occurred to me that I didn’t know the name of the mall where I had been buying my food for four years. I started paying more attention after that.)

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