Wicked Taxi Driver Of The West

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Working | January 23, 2017

(I finish working at 2:45 am. By the time I remove my uniform, I take a taxi a 3:05. I give my address to the driver, who obviously thinks I’m a drunk girl getting out of a bar, considering the location and the time. He takes off in the wrong direction.)

Me: “Mister, I live in the east.”

Driver: “I know, we’re going east now.”

(We’re clearly going west, even though I’m tired I still can recognize the streets.)

Me: “No, you’re currently going west. Turn on your GPS. You’re clearly going in the wrong direction.”

Driver: “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ll tell you when we get at your destination.”

Me: “Listen, you’re making me take a detour for nothing. I’d like to get home as soon as possible and not pay more than necessary. Please go east now.”

Driver: “You probably had a couple drinks too much. It’s okay. It happens to the best of us to be lost because of alcohol. I’ll tell you when we get there.”

Me: “Hey. I’ve been up for 18 hours; I just finished my work shift. The last drop of alcohol I drank was many days ago, and I really want to go to bed NOW. If you refuse again to drive me straight home without taking a detour, I’m calling your central to tell them that you’re refusing to take me to my destination. And it’s out of the question that I pay for the detour you just took.”

Driver: “Oh, sorry. I couldn’t know that you weren’t drunk; you’re at the closing hour and downtown…”

(I took note of the taxi’s number to make a complaint.)

More Taxing Than It Should Be

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Working | October 21, 2016

(I call a local taxi service on a Sunday when buses aren’t running. A man answers.)

Man: “Do you need a taxi?”

Me: “Yes, I do—”

Man: “Too bad!” *hangs up*

One Of Them Is Not Very Personable

, | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Right | September 19, 2016

Caller: “Hi, can I get a maxi taxi?”

Me: “Sure. Is that for a wheelchair or group of people?”

Caller: “There are four people travelling. Two adults and three children.”

Me: “…”

Taxing Pranking

| Chester, England, UK | Right | September 13, 2016

(I work as a telephone and radio operator. I’m responsible for giving jobs out to drivers and taking bookings. In the early evening, I get a call from a fairly young boy.)

Me: “[Taxi Company].”

Kid: “Yeah, I need a taxi, please, as soon as possible. We need to go out within about ten minutes.”

Me: “Okay. What’s the address?”

Kid: “It’s [Address].”

Me: “That’s great, but I don’t recognise you.”

Kid: “Sorry?”

Me: “I don’t recognise your voice at all. I’ve only got two children, as far as I know, and neither of them sound like you.”

Kid: “What?”

Me: “You’ve just requested a taxi from [Address], right?”

Kid: “Yeah.”

Me: “And that’s where you live?”

Kid: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s where I live, too. Why would you want a taxi from my house?”

(The kid immediately hung up. I phoned my wife, and apparently she’d had a taxi driver knock on the door after waiting outside for five minutes. The kid had sent one car from at least four different companies to our address. No idea where they’d got our address, or why they were doing it, but they stopped after phoning me!)

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Ubers

| Chicago, IL, USA | Romantic | September 12, 2016

(I pick up a woman in downtown Chicago while driving for a ride share service. She makes small talk as we approach her condo, late in the evening.)

Customer: “So I imagine that you have long days?”

Me: “Sometimes, but I generally only do this part time.”

Customer: “Are you going to be done driving after my trip?”

Me: “Not really. I was planning on a couple more hours.”

Customer: *as I park in front of her address* “Well, you could come up if you want. I’ve had a long day and am looking for something to distract me.” *indicates her admittedly very nice looking condo*

Me: “Thanks, but I’m good.”

(I scratch the back of my head with my left hand in order to show my wedding ring.)

Customer: “Are you sure? I really need some company and it would be a lot of fun.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure I’m good. And I’m pretty sure my wife is sure as well. I hope you have a pleasant evening, though.”

Customer: “Well, if you’re sure, but you can always come back as you know where I live now.”

Me: *somewhat speechless and just hoping she’ll leave without a fuss*

Customer: “Okay…” *leaves after spending a few more seconds staring at me through the rear view mirror*

(I don’t know if I got rated lower for refusing her “request.”)

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