Their Brain Is French-Fried

| BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “From Quebec.”

Customer: “Quebec? Is that the province that speaks French?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “But how come you can speak in English?”

Me: *looking at him in disbelief*

Customer: “And when you started to speak in English, did you choose to have a French accent?”

Got A Taxi-ing Search Ahead Of Them

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Extra Stupid

(My friend and I are just about to get out of a cab at 4 am when two girls approach the driver.)

Girl: “I forgot something in the last cab.”

Driver: “Which cab?”

Girl: “I don’t know.”

Driver: “Do you know which cab company?”

Girl: “No.”

Driver: “There are lots of companies.”

Girl: “Some old guy.”

Driver: “There are lots of old guys…”

We Can Either Do This The Long Way Or The Long Way

| Albury, Australia | Money

(A passenger hails my taxi outside a bar.)

Me: “Good evening, sir. Where would you like to go?”

Passenger: “Take me to [other bar, about a $10 fare], and make sure you go the shortest way! Don’t be taking the long way around to get more money!”

Me: “Of course, I was going to go my usual way, which is the shortest and cheapest. Is that okay?”

Passenger: “No! That’s the long way! Take me this way.”

(The passenger proceeds to guide me on an angled course that adds at least 40% to the trip.)

Passenger: “Now, that’s the way you go! I’ve got you taxi drivers all figured out. You always try to go that other way, but mine is better!”