Bloody Inconsiderate Customers!

, , , | Right | July 11, 2019

(I am going to get my first lip piercing with a friend. I am nervous, but everything is going well. Soon I have a ring on my lip.)

Piercer: *hands me some paper towels* “Just press this against it; the bleeding will stop soon.”

Me: *pressing them on my lip* “There is a lot of blood in my mouth already. Is there a sink somewhere?”

(My friend is talking with the piercer and they don’t seem to hear me. I am about to ask again but realize that if I open my mouth, some blood will spill out. I mumble something while pressing my lips together tightly, pointing toward my mouth with my free hand.)

Friend: *understands what I’m trying to say* “Oh! Um, is there a sink somewhere?”

Piercer: “There’s a bathroom down the hall.” *gives me quick instruction on how to get there*

(I almost run to the bathroom and spit a lot of blood into the sink. I am glad I made it; some leaked through my lips on the way there. I spit out a few more times, wipe my mouth, and go back, since it has almost stopped bleeding.)

Piercer: “Seems like I hit a blood vessel… That was some bad luck.”

(After paying, we leave. My friend jokes how funny I looked, making muffled noises and waving my hand around. I laugh at that, too. On the bus going home I realize something.)

Me: “I don’t think I washed the blood off that sink.”

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Unfiltered Story #155524

, , | Unfiltered | June 24, 2019

(I work the front desk at a higher end tattoo studio. A man walks in, and looks like he may be under the influence of something)

Me: Hello. How can I help you?

Customer: Yeah. How about a Ying-Yang here *points to his shoulder* How much would that be?

Me: Well, pricing varies by the artist you work with. If you look at the portfolios and decide who you want to work with we can get an estimate from them.

Customer: Ok. But how much?

Me: That depends on the artist. You’d need to pick who you want to work with.

Customer: Well, okay.

(few seconds later)

Customer: What about a whole thing on my back? What would that be?

Me: Well, that would definitely be an hourly piece. So ultimately it depends on who you work with and how long it takes to do.

Customer: Okay. Well. Maybe I’ll just have no. Just no tattoos. Because I’m not part of society.

Me: Okay. Well, tattoos aren’t for everyone.

Customer: I’m not part of society. Maybe just a head. I don’t need to be sexy to go places. And society cares what you do and what is acceptable and I’m not part of that so maybe just NO. No tattoos.

Me: Okay then.

(he starts to walk out and turns around)

Customer: Do you need my social security number?

Me: No thank you.

Customer: Okay. (then half way out the door) And if you want to know my name, it’s DON’T ASK.

Spilled The Ink On That One

, , , | Working | June 17, 2019

(I have made an appointment to get a tattoo covered up. I sit down with the artist to talk about my options.)

Artist: “So, which one are we covering up for you?”

Me: “This one, right here. The one that says, ‘[Male Name].’”

(I roll up my sleeve and show him the tattoo of a small heart with “[Male Name]” written under it.)

Artist: *rolls his eyes* “Ah, broke up, did you? This is exactly why I don’t tattoo names on people.” *shakes his head*

Me: “Uh, no, it’s not like that. It’s actually–” *cuts me off*

Artist: “This is seriously one of the dumbest tattoo choices you can make. I mean, how stupid do you have to be to tattoo a boyfriend’s name on you? Jesus, c’mon. Nothing lasts forever these days.” *shakes his head again*

Me: “It’s not my boyfriend’s name; it’s–” *cuts me off again*

Artist: “Fiancé, husband, whatever. You’re a real idiot for tattooing his name on you. I mean, seriously–”

(Sick of his s***, I cut him off.)

Me: “Actually, it’s my father’s name. I got it as a memento four years ago when he died. Or I should say, when he faked his own suicide so he could go live with his new family on the other side of the country, which we just found out about. I want it gone. But I am definitely not doing that here. Goodbye.”

(The artist went absolutely white and tried to spit out some sort of apology, but I was already halfway out the door.)

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Customers Don’t Know I Am Titanium

, , , , , | Right | June 3, 2019

(I’m a professional body piercer at one of the best studios in the state. We use the highest quality jewelry possible, and because of this, our prices are a little higher than most run-of-the-mill shops.)

Me: “Hello! What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I want to get my bellybutton pierced!”

Me: “Awesome! Let me just check your anatomy really quick and get your paperwork taken care of. Here is the jewelry we can use for that area. The piece is going to be dependent on the jewelry that you choose, so let me know what you like and I’ll let you know a price.”

Customer: “I like this one!” *pointing to a very nice double gem prong set piece in implant-grade titanium*

Me: “Very good choice! That piece will go with anything you wear! Now, for the jewelry and the piercing fee, your total will come to $95.”

Customer: “Are you trying to to f****** rip me off? I can get the same thing down the street for $30. I’m going to report you for scamming!”

Me: “Ma’am, our jewelry is the highest quality you can find, contains no nickel or lead, and has a lifetime guarantee.”

Customer: “$95 is a total scam! I’ll have you fired! I’ll have it so you never make another dollar in this town again.”

(At this point I’m, of course, a little irritated.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve already told you about the jewelry quality; add on me putting myself at risk with bodily fluids, I think $95 is a fair price. Feel free to go to the shop down the street. You are an adult. I don’t think we will be doing business together and I have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “F*** this place! F*** you, lady! You’re all a bunch of drug addicts and bums!”

(She did leave, but not after knocking down some award plaques we have displayed and breaking one. She did end up coming back a couple of months later with a terribly done navel piercing and begged me to fix it. Unfortunately, there was no way of fixing it and she was left with a nasty scar.)

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Gauging Your Favorite Color

, , , | Right | April 23, 2019

(I work in a body piercing store.)

Customer: “Can I have one of these, please?” *pointing to the display of different-sized tapers for stretching piercings to larger gauges*

Me: “Of course. What size do you need?”

Customer: “A blue one.”

Me: “…”

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