Some years ago, I was a beginner tattoo artist, very happy to get a job in a shop. The boss was kind of moody and very passive-aggressive, but I managed to work with her and was okay with most of her fits.

One day, the coffee maker wouldn’t work, just like that; it happens with cheap material. My boss was clearly angry but didn’t yell. She just took the coffee maker and said:

Boss: “Okay, I’ll keep it in the closet, then. You will soon know why.”

I thought nothing about it because maybe it was for an art project or something.

Some months passed and I totally forgot the coffee maker.

One day, the boss was on the phone with one of her friends. I didn’t know what was going on but she was clearly pissed. She was shouting on the phone outside her shop, and I kind of thought that wasn’t great advertising for her, but I didn’t say a word.

She then came back into the shop, way too calm.

Boss: “Now you’ll know why I kept the coffee machine.”

She took the coffee machine out of the closet with a HAMMER, put it on the floor of her shop, and SLAMMED IT with rage, screaming, shattering it into numerous small parts. It was a huge mess.

Then, she looked up at me.

Boss: *Very calmly* “THAT’S WHY.”

I was not so happy to work here after that.

I work in a tattoo shop based in New Zealand, and we have a law making it illegal to tattoo anyone under the age of sixteen.

A girl who looks about fourteen walks in.

Girl: “I would like a consult, please.”

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

She gets super defensive.

Girl: “What?! This is age discrimination! I should call the police!”

I called my manager over and she called the police. The cop station is two minutes away from the shop, so they turned up in a matter of minutes. The girl was promptly taken away and questioned by police who then questioned me and my manager. We both got off with no punishment because we were abiding by the law.

The girl came back in after a few weeks and continued to berate us, so my manager and I banned her from the store and all other stores in the area.

I’m halfway through giving a tattoo.

Customer: “So… when will it completely fade out?”

Related:
Think Before You Ink, Part 8
Think Before You Ink, Part 7
Think Before You Ink, Part 6
Think Before You Ink, Part 5
Think Before You Ink, Part 4

We work on appointments only. A young customer comes in; she’s kind of a regular, and not a very easy one, always nagging and trying to lower prices.

Customer: “Hi, I’d like this little bow tattooed here on the arm.”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be 130€. When would you like to do that?”

I start taking out the appointment diary.

Customer: “No, no. I want it right now.”

Me: “But… it’s not possible right now. We work on appointments only. Besides, I’m waiting for the next customer. I really can’t do it.”

Customer: “But… I want it now… pleaaaase.”

She’s literally trying the “puppy eyes” on me. I try not to laugh because she sounds like she’s four years old.

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I can’t do that. I can try to fit your appointment tomorrow in the morning?”

Customer: “NO! I WANT IT NOW!”

She STOMPS on the floor. I’m speechless. Seeing an adult do that is just incredible.

Me: “But… I just can’t.”

Customer: “FINE! I’LL GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! You lost a customer!”

She SLAMMED the door. I laughed about it with my colleagues. She came back some days after, WAVING her arm under my nose, showing me a tattoo she paid 300€ for. Someone charged her more than twice the price I gave her, and she bragged about how I should be sorry, without seeing the irony.

Related:
Think Before You Ink, Part 7
Think Before You Ink, Part 6
Think Before You Ink, Part 5
Think Before You Ink, Part 4
Think Before You Ink, Part 3

I am in the middle of getting a tattoo done when a guy walks into the shop.

Customer: “Hey, can I bum a light off of anyone in here?”

Tattoo Artist: “Dude, I’m a little busy right now.”

Customer: “Well, if not, then can I get a tattoo?”

Tattoo Artist: “It’s a $40 deposit, and what were you looking to get?”

Customer: “I want a portrait of my brother and my mom, and I want it done tomorrow.”

Tattoo Artist: “I can’t do that tomorrow. We’ll need a professional-grade photo of them so we have a good image to go off of, and then it will take some time to draw up. We don’t want it to look rushed.”

Customer: “You sure you can’t get it done tomorrow? That’s how they do it in Pittsburgh! You walk in and get it done.”

Tattoo Artist: “Well, this isn’t Pittsburgh. And like I said, we want it to look good, not rushed.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll be back.”

He leaves and my artist gets back to tattooing me.

Tattoo Artist: “He’s not coming back.”