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What Came First, The Idiot Or The Egg

, , | Right | February 17, 2011

(After scanning some eggs I open the box look inside and close it again.)

Customer: “Why are you looking it the egg carton?”

Me: “I’m checking to make sure there are no broken ones.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought it was to make sure people weren’t stealing stuff by hiding it in the eggs…”

A Stern Warning For Hypochondriacs

, , , | Right | March 16, 2010

(I am on a ferry. I see a woman sitting in a chair with her head between her legs looking rather ill.)

Me: “Are you all right? Can I help with anything?”

Passenger: “I think I’m really seasick.”

Me: “Oh, well, uh, are you sure it’s not flu or something you’ve eaten?”

Passenger: “No, I’ve never felt like this before. I know I’m seasick.”

Me: “Oh, okay then. I’ll just go see if I can find the medic.”

(I didn’t have the heart to tell her that we hadn’t even untied yet.)