Wrong Direction, Right Attitude

, , , , , , | Working | January 10, 2019

(We’re short-staffed and it’s been a busy, chaotic morning with customers practically lined up out the door as they wait for their prescriptions. Eventually, we get through the queue and stop to catch our breath in a brief moment while there are no more customers in the shop. We’re all a bit tired when yet another customer enters and looks around, appearing confused. My coworker approaches her and blurts out this gem:)

Coworker: “Can I point you in the wrong direction?”

(Fortunately, the customer had a great sense of humour and was soon successfully served.)

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You Think About That, Because They Don’t Want To

, , , , , | Right | December 21, 2018

(A customer calls asking about a bedroom package.)

Customer: “Hi. I want to know how much the [bedroom package] costs.”

Me: “It’s normally [price], but right now it’s on sale for [significant discount]!”

Customer: “Can you do any further discount on that price?”

Me: “No, unfortunately not. We already give a small discount on all the items when they’re purchased in a package, and you’re saving [large amount] on top of—“

Customer: *interrupting* “It’s just that I’m in [Competitor] right now, looking at the same item, and I want to know if you can go any cheaper.”

Me: “Unfortunately not. You’re already saving [large amount] on top of our regular discount; we can’t go any lower.”

Customer: “Okay, then, goodbye.”

(I think that’s the end of it until I get a call back ten minutes later.)

Customer: “I just wanted you to know I bought the package from [Competitor].”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “And I paid more for it, too. Think about that.”

Me: “…”

(I have no idea what I’m supposed to “think about,” or what I did to tick this guy off so much!)

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Their Knowledge Is A Bit Patchy

, , , , , | Right | November 7, 2018

(I am selling a customer nicotine patches to help them quit smoking.)

Customer: “So, can I still smoke when I’m wearing the patches? Someone said I can.”

Me: *head-desks internally*

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Never Sausage An Unhealthy Thing Before

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 4, 2018

One of my colleagues is a naturopath and health nut. She’s noticed that I have a certain fondness for hot chips/fries and often buy them for lunch, and she’s taken to telling me how unhealthy, fatty, salty, etc. they are, in a vain attempt to improve my diet.

One day, just for a change, I decide to buy a sausage roll for lunch. My colleague notices this and proceeds to lecture me on how much worse this is for me, because of how many carbs are in the pastry and how much fat is in the meat.

The next day I buy chips again. I show them to my colleague and tell her that I went with the healthier option.

The horrified and appalled look on her face was priceless, and was well worth the earful she gave me!

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Knows How To Push Your Button

, , , , , | Related | July 3, 2018

(My 16-year-old son has been home by himself while I’m at work.)

Son: “Hi, Mum. I washed the clothes.”

Me: “Thanks. Hang on, the wet clothes are still in the machine.”

Son: “Yeah, I didn’t hang them out.”

Me: “But I loaded the machine.”

Son: “Yeah, I know.”

Me: “So, what you are telling me is that you pushed a button.”

Son: “Yup.”

Me: “I’m a little underwhelmed by your commitment to helping with housework.”

(My son grinned and exited.)

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