Karan And The Chixploitation

, , , , , | Right | September 2, 2019

(I work in a local supermarket deli/bakery combo that sells fried chicken. You can buy it by the piece or in an eight-pack for a fixed price. The eight pack, which is essentially a whole chicken cut up and fried, is by far the better deal since chicken piece prices vary; a breast can be a few bucks while a drumstick or a wing is a dollar, and so forth. A very well-dressed woman orders three chicken breasts, which actually works out to be almost exactly the price of the eight-piece.)

Me: “Ma’am, just to let you know, for another thirty cents, you can get the eight-piece meal.”

Customer: *wrinkling her nose* “I don’t want that. I only eat white meat.”

Me: “Okie-dokie. Just wanted to be sure you were aware.”

(I go to package up her order.)

Customer: “Well, wait. Why is it almost the same price? That’s not fair. I’m getting less.”

Me: “Individual pieces are priced differently. Chicken breasts cost the most because they are the largest and most popular. The full meal is often the better deal.”

Customer: “But that’s not fair. Are you getting this? This is exploitation. I wouldn’t eat the other pieces. I only eat white. Meat. I would just throw those out. That is disgusting. That is exploitation. Are you getting this?”

(Like a lot of retail jobs, or indeed any customer service job whatsoever, I am actually allowed a small amount of flexibility for certain things to make customers happy. However, as I’m sure anyone who has worked with customer service has also experienced, my willingness to do so shifts dramatically in proportion to how unpleasant the customer is. At this point, she’s nearly shouting, leaning across the counter to jab her finger in my face, and speaking in an extremely condescending tone. This job and what I get paid for it are not worth feeding into this woman’s horror-show attitude and her tenuous grasp on what actually qualifies as “exploitation.”)

Customer: “Do I need to get your manager? Is that how this is going to go?” 

Me: “Ma’am, you are welcome to talk to whomever you want, but our prices and policies are clearly posted.”

(She glares at me, spins around, and storms out of the store. My manager, who has been silently observing this as she works to take inventory nearby and waiting to see if I need her to step in, comes over.)

Manager: “God, how great must your life be when getting too much food is your biggest problem and causes a reaction like that?”

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The Only Thing She’s Purse-ing Is Her Lips

, , , , , | Friendly | August 29, 2019

(I’m out at a local bar and restaurant with my husband when a woman taps me on the shoulder.)

Woman: “Your purse is so pretty!”

Me: “Oh, thank you!”

Woman: “Where did you get it?”

Me: “I… Hmm. Well, I don’t really remember. Sorry. It’s been a few years.”

Woman: *just stares at me*

Me: *awkwardly, after a silence* “It was handmade from someone on [Online Marketplace].”

Woman: “So, can’t you look into your purchase history?”

(It’s not that this is something that would take a long time to do or anything; it’s just sort of an odd ask from a stranger. Still, I pull out my phone, go to the website, log in, and dig through my past purchases over the last few years until I find it, the woman staring at me impatiently the whole time. I finally give her the shop name and assume that’s the end of it as she bustles off. A few moments later, however, she’s back, brandishing her phone in my face.)

Woman: *accusingly* “The shop is empty and the last update was years ago.”

Me: “Oh… I guess they’re not selling anymore. Bummer.”

Woman: “So, what am I supposed to do?”

Me: *still taken aback by how confrontational she seems and trying to make light of the situation* “Well… based on where we are, I’d suggest buying a drink and trying to relax?

(She scoffed and stormed off. For the rest of the night, I caught her glaring at me from afar. What a weird reaction over what was honestly a pretty plain purse; she probably could have found something that looked pretty darn similar, and cheaper, at almost any store. Oh, well.)

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You’re Awful – For The Record

, , , , , | Right | August 7, 2019

(I work in a supermarket bakery. When I was hired I was told about a creep who would call every so often. He doesn’t have a distinctive voice and always waits long enough that they will mostly forget — and are often busy enough anyway with multiple calls daily that they aren’t on guard when they grab the phone — and he will start off innocuously asking about custom cakes, before asking about explicit designs using graphic terms, getting all breathy and excited. They will immediately hang up on him, of course, and are very grossed out, and I often tell them if he ever calls again to just give the phone to me. Months pass by without incident until one day one of my younger coworkers answers the phone and gets a weird, uncomfortable expression on her face. While she is in her mid-20s, she has a very “baby” sounding voice.)

Coworker: “Um… just a moment.” *covering the phone and turning to me* “It’s that pervert… Did you seriously want to…?”

Me: *snatching the phone from her* “Hello, sir! I’ll be happy to help with your order, right after you explain to me, for the recording, why you’re making graphic sexual comments to my underage coworker here.”

(I heard an audible, shocked gasp and the line immediately went dead. I was, of course, full of it; we didn’t have the ability to record calls on that line even if I wanted to, and she definitely wasn’t underage, not that that should have mattered. But while we merely got a good laugh out of scaring him finally, apparently, that was more than sufficient to scare him off for good. It’s been over two years since I worked there, and the women who are still there happily inform me when I come by to shop that they still haven’t heard from him. If only all of life’s annoyances were so easily solved.)

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Laptop Of The Class

, , , , , | Learning | July 25, 2019

(Due to financial and health issues, I have to do my first two years of college at a community college. I only have one class to go before I finish. I’ll be transferring to my dream college which has a great reputation for my desired major. I show up for my first day of my last class at the community college and set up my laptop for note-taking. The professor walks in.)

Professor: “Good morning, everyone. I’m [Professor], and– Hold on. Who is hiding behind that obnoxious piece of technology in the back?”

(My laptop is pretty small, so there’s no way I could hide even if I wanted to.)

Me: *raising my hand* “Hello!”

Professor: “Who are you and why is that here?”

Me: “I’m [My Name]. My computer? I find that I take better notes on a laptop. I type faster than I write.”

Professor: “Well, Miss [My Name], I don’t like laptops in my class. You’ll be on the Facebook or who knows what while I’m teaching.”

(I turn my computer around to show him that the only window I have open is a blank Microsoft Word document.)

Professor: “Have your other professors let you use that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Professor: “Are you transferring? No university will let you get away with that.”

Me: “Yes, actually, [University I’ve been accepted to] encourages the use of tech during lectures.”

Professor: “Fine. Keep your technology. But the minute you bomb an exam, that thing is gone.”

Me: “No problem.”

(The professor continues to jab at me during the semester, calling on me all the time to answer questions just to make sure I’m not on “the Facebook.” I always answer accurately, and I pass all the exams. Fast forward to the final. I turn mine in.)

Professor: “Hang on. I’m grading everyone’s while they’re here.”

(He quickly runs through mine, marking a few wrong.)

Me: “Well?”

Professor: *sighs* “87%. That makes a final average of…” *taps on a calculator* “90% for the course. I suppose congratulations are in order.”

Me: “So, I guess obnoxious pieces of tech can help students do well?”

(He glared at me as I walked out.)

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A Different Kind Of Data Leak

, , , , , | Right | July 2, 2019

(Many moons ago, working tech support, someone calls in with a problem with their printer. After working on it for over an hour, because he questions and argues every step of the way, I finally get him to tell me step by step what exactly he is doing.)

Customer: “I open a document, file, print, wait for it to finish loading, then unplug the printer cable and carry it across the room to the printer while holding the ends up so the data doesn’t spill out, and I plug it into the printer and it prints. And it worked like that yesterday.”

Me: *stunned pause for several seconds* “No, it didn’t.”

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