She Came HIGH-ly Recommended

, , , , , , | Working | July 30, 2018

(I work in the deli at a grocery store and decide to move out of state. I have lost touch with my one-time best friend because she got into drugs and I wasn’t comfortable with that. I decide to come back on vacation to see family, and I go back to the grocery store to say hi to people I used to work with. My ex-manager spots me and hurries over.)

Ex-Manager: “What is wrong with your friend?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Ex-Manager: “She put in an application, and since she put you down as a reference, we hired her.”

Me: “I haven’t seen her in about a year. What happened?”

Ex-Manager: “She said she cut herself on a slicer, but we checked the camera and she deliberately put her finger on a running blade. When we showed her the video, she said she wanted to see what would happen.”

Me:Wow. Well, she was probably high.”

Ex-Manager: “HIGH? She did drugs?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s why we parted ways. How did she even pass the drug test?”

Ex-Manager: “I don’t know. It came back negative. You never said she was on drugs!”

Me: “Maybe you should have called when she put me down as a reference.”

Ex-Manager: “We didn’t think it was necessary, since she’s your friend.”

Me: “Then, what’s the point of asking for references if you aren’t going to use them?”

(My ex-manager kept telling me I should have told her about the friend’s drug problem and couldn’t understand why I didn’t magically know she was trying to get a job there.)

Angry For Two

, , , , , , | Working | July 27, 2018

(I’m towards the end of a ten-hour shift, working in shipping/receiving, doing the intake and prep of all the Christmas/Holiday merchandise that is getting ready to go out that night. The store is already short-handed, two people quit this morning, and the new kid they have me working with is complaining the entire time he’s there that he doesn’t want to be there. I’m also currently six months pregnant and haven’t been allowed to sit down for other than my lunch break. I’m tired from being pregnant, as well from working essentially everyone else’s job in the store, and am counting down the minutes until my shift is over. That’s when my manager sticks his head around the corner.)

Manager: “I was wondering if it would be possible for the two of you to stay later tonight to help get all of this done.”

(I stab the box I’m working on with my box knife and turn my gaze to my manager, probably giving him the worst death glare ever.)

Manager: *a little scared* “Uh… Are you okay, [My Name]?”

(Most people know me as a kind individual, who is courteous and polite, and doesn’t raise her voice, even when pissed off. However, the pregnancy hormones and the fact I’m exhausted get the better of me and I start shouting. It should also be noted that we only get a 30-minute lunch for every six hours worked, so breaks at this place are non-existent.)

Me: “FINE! I’ll stay! But only for another hour. And I’m going to go sit down for fifteen minutes because I’m pregnant. And you’re not going to stop me!”

(I storm off to the break room and plop on one of the folding chairs, propping my swollen feet up on another. Five minutes later, the same manager peeks his head in.)

Manager: “Is it safe to come in?”

Me: “Look, I’m really sorry.”

(He comes in and places a candy bar and a bottle of water in front of me.)

Manager: “It’s okay. With all the work you do around here, and how you even sometimes run circles around your younger coworkers, I forget that you’re pregnant. Take your break, finish the stack you were working on, and go home. Oh, and you may want to say something to [Coworker] before you go. He asked me not to let the scary, pregnant lady come back.”

Misogyny Is Coming: Get Out Of The Way!

, , , , , , | Working | July 25, 2018

(I’m a female. I am working in a deli inside a grocery store. It is fairly busy, so lots of coworkers are going back and forth down behind the row of slicers. It’s a narrow area, so we often get in each other’s way. I am slicing meat for an older, female customer when a coworker needs to walk behind me.)

Coworker: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Okay.” *moves to the side while still slicing meat*

(Later that day, the male store manager stomps over and calls me into the office, along with my female department manager.)

Store Manager: “We received a customer complaint that you were rude to your coworker today.”

Me: “When?”

Store Manager: “He needed to get by you, and you refused to move out of his way.”

Me: “The only time anybody asked to get by me was during the lunch rush. I wasn’t rude!”

Deli Manager: “Let’s just look at the tape.”

(The store manager pulls up the tape, and all three of us watch me move to the side so he can walk by.)

Store Manager: “So, why didn’t you move out of his way?”

Deli Manager: “She did.”

Store Manager: “Clearly, she did not. She was in that young man’s way.”

Deli Manager: “Where would you have liked her to go? The roof? She did nothing wrong!”

(The store manager let us go back to work, but I continued to have problems with him telling me I disrespected male coworkers for things like not saying hello the right way.)

Wonder If The Taxidermy Is On Medicaid?

, , , , , , | Friendly | July 20, 2018

(I am telling my roommate about my cousin who just paid for an operation on his cat.)

Me: “It cost him over $7,000!”

Roommate: “He could have had him stuffed and memorialized forever for less than that.”

New-Fangled Since The 1970s

, , , , , , | Right | July 9, 2018

(I take phone calls for members about their credit and debit cards for a small bank. The year is 2016.)

Me: “How can I help you on your card today?”

Caller: “I need to dispute an item.”

(After I get all their details, I note the caller is in their early 50s.)

Me: “Okay, I just need to mail or fax the document to you to sign and return to us.”

Caller: “I don’t understand those newfangled gadgets; it’s because of those I’m having such a hard time doing business nowadays. Why can’t we just stick with mailing stuff? Why do you have to make everything so hard?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but to understand you correctly, you’re unable to get a fax?”

Caller: “Did you not hear me correctly? I do not understand those newfangled gadgets! Just mail me the documents!”

Me: “I will be happy to, sir.”

(I was very happy that I didn’t ask if he wanted the form emailed to him.)

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