My mom is getting married to my step-dad and I’m in the wedding. About two weeks before the wedding, my mom and I go to a tailor for the final fitting.

I put the dress on and show the tailor. She makes a few marks for where to adjust the dress but it doesn’t seem like a lot of work.

Tailor: “You gained weight.”

I am shocked by this because it seems like she is bringing the dress in more.

Tailor: “You need to eat rice and banana. You will lose weight. You gain too much weight and the dress won’t fit. Eat rice and banana only and the dress will be good.”

I just want to leave. I am heavy but I don’t need this stranger talking to me like this.

My mom handles payment, and as we are leaving, the tailor looks at me.

Tailor: “Rice and banana. Only. Nothing else. You will gain too much weight and not fit in the dress for your mom’s special day.”

I weighed myself when I got home. I’d gained no weight in over a month. I don’t know if she was trying to help, but it didn’t work.

The dress fit fine and I had an amazing time at the wedding.

My fiance and I are planning to elope and although I want to wear a nice dress, I don’t want to go all out and spend a significant amount on a branded wedding dress. I go online and find a nice, white maxi dress with some sparkles on it that is within my budget, and when it arrives it fits well but is slightly too long. Not an issue; I just go to the tailor to get it shortened.

The tailor I find is in the mall and they ask me to put on the dress so they can pin it. When I step out of the changing room, I see a little girl — maybe four or five years old — stopping right in front of the shop, tugging at her mum’s shirt with eyes wide open exclaiming, “Mummy, look! It’s a FAIRY!”

It absolutely made my day and made me smile extra wide on my wedding day!

(I bring a pair of pants to the tailor to get the legs shortened. The lady at the counter is clearly foreign, but I’ve been to this shop a year or so before and have seen her there, so I know she’s been in the country for a while already. I therefore assume she knows enough Dutch to at least communicate well with customers.)

Me: “Hi! I’ve got these pants I need shortened. “

Tailor: *blank stare*

Me: “So, yeah, uh, just a few centimetres off the bottom, I guess. Can you tell me what it is going to cost?”

Tailor: *unintelligible mumbling*

Me: “I’m sorry, could you say that again? Didn’t quite catch that.”

(She takes out an appointment note and writes a figure on it, before handing it to me. I see she wrote down the costs.)

Me: “Okay, so [amount]? That works for me.”

(Cue another round of blank stares, while I’m hoping she picks up a professional demeanour somewhere.)

Me: “I assume you need to know how much you have to trim off, right?”

Tailor: *blank stare, then silently nods*

Me: “Okay, so, I go to the dressing room now, so can put it on and you can measure how much you need to trim, all right?”

(I do so, and once I emerge from the dressing room she almost jumps on me, taking the measurements and marking where she needs to trim. When she’s done, she gives me another stare, which tells me I can go change into my own pants again. Once I’m done:)

Me: “So, when can I pick it up?”

Tailor: *slides appointment note at me, still only with the costs scribbled there*

Me: “Tomorrow?”

Tailor: “Wednesday.”

Me: “Today is Thursday. So… almost a week? That can’t be right, can it?”

Tailor: *points at Friday on the appointment note* “Wednesday.”

Me: “That’s Friday. So, tomorrow then?”

Tailor: “Yes, Fri-desday.” *or something else resembling a Dutch mix of Wednesday and Friday*

Me: “Cool, see you tomorrow, then!”

(I hope that everything goes all right, and come back the next day. I show her my appointment card, which also contains a reference number. She says nothing but proceeds to get a pair of jeans from the rack that is clearly not mine.)

Me: “I believe you have the wrong one.” *spots my jeans on another rack* “I see it! The one with [number] is mine.”

Tailor: “[Different number]?”

Me: “No, [right number], the black jeans, third from the front on that rack there.”

(She gets it right and folds up the jeans.)

Tailor: “[Higher amount than we agreed upon], please.”

Me: “Hold on. You said [lower amount] yesterday. It’s even on the appointment card, see?” *I hand her the card*

Tailor: “Oh, silly!” *taps in amount on register* “[Incorrect, higher amount], please.”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Tailor: *huffs* “[Correct amount], please.”

Me: “That’s more like it!”

(Surprisingly, my jeans were done just fine. But I swore I’m not going back there if I don’t have to! The other day I did have to, though, and she was still there — two years after the described incident — and her Dutch hasn’t improved in the slightest.)

(I’m a self-employed dressmaker, and in the run-up to Christmas I agree to fit in a rush order.)

Client: “I want a cloak, with a red lining and black outer.”

(I make, photograph, and send the cloak. After it arrives, I get the following feedback:)

Client: “The red fabric was nicer than the black. You should have put the red on the outside.”

Me: “I happen to prefer the red myself, but since you specified what you wanted, and this included having the red on the inside, that’s what I did.”

Client: “Well… I guess I’ll make it work.”

(I’m pretty sure they were angling for a partial refund, but I wasn’t going to give money off just because they changed their mind!)

(I own a tailor shop. I typically ask customers if one week service is okay with them. This is because I am all alone here and need the time. Most are fine with it but some need things sooner. This is okay provided I have time available on whatever day. However, if they want it same day or next day, there is an upcharge since I have to stop anything else I am doing and let them jump the queue. My permanent special is on regular jean hems since they are the fastest hem to do. A customer walks in with two pairs of pants with fancy stitching on the hems and a bit of intentional distressing of the fabric.)

Customer: “I want to get these both hemmed, but do you do the kind of hem where I get to keep this look at the bottom?”

Me: “A European style hem? Yes, I do those.”

(I take his information and measurements for the receipt and enter the jobs into the computer.)

Me: “Now, is next Saturday okay for you?”

Customer: *eyes bulge out of his face* “That long?! Really?”

Me: “It is just what I like to ask for. I might be able to get them done sooner, though. What day would you like them done?”

Customer: “Well, I am going to Vancouver on Tuesday, so…”

Me: “If you aren’t leaving until later on Tuesday, I can have them ready for 9:30 pickup or, if you are willing to pay the urgent fee, I can have them ready tomorrow. I am closed Sunday and Monday.”

Customer: *sounding impatient* “How much?”

Me: *looking at the computer* “[Amount] for Tuesday or [amount +$10] for tomorrow.”

Customer: *eyes stick out even more* “HOW MUCH?! But I came here because your sign outside says two for [amount which is half of the Tuesday price I quoted], and that is why I came here! That is false advertising!”

Me: “I am sorry for the misunderstanding, but that price is for our basic hem, which is where I cut the pant and sew a new hem. It takes one machine and is an easy hem. It has an absolute turn around time of one week which is why it is a special price. The hem you want is more of a ‘deluxe’ hem and takes all three of my machines and more time, plus you want it sooner than one week.”

Customer: “I don’t see why you need a week! You just need to cut it and sew! It would take a few seconds!”

Me: “Regular hems don’t take long, but you don’t want that kind. Euros take longer, but not that long. The issue is that there are many people ahead of you and their work comes first. That is why if you want to skip the line, you have to pay a little extra.”

Customer: *looking very disgruntled* “Well, the place in the mall will do it for [30% less than my regular euro price] AND they gave me a 10% off card to use!”

Me: *knowing for a fact that the place in the mall charges a little less than twice what I do and doesn’t do a good job at all* “Well, that sounds like an excellent deal, sir. You’d better get there before they close, then. I am sorry I couldn’t help you today. Let me just get the pins out of these pants for you.” *does so* “Sorry again, but have a great weekend!”

(The customer grabbed his jeans and left, still grumbling.)