Completely Clocked Out

, , , , , | Working | October 15, 2020

I have been asked to cover for a sick employee at another location. I am the type of person who likes to finish what I am doing before leaving. I am putting out some stock.

Staff Member: “[My Name], it’s time to go; we’re closing now.”

Me: “I just need to finish this. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Staff Member: “No, you have to leave that. [Manager] likes to have us all together at the end of the day. You need to grab your bag and get ready to go.”

I check the time as I follow her over to the counter; there are still fifteen minutes before closing time. The front door is already locked, the registers are counted, and all the staff are just standing around doing nothing but chatting. I’m fidgety because I just want to finish that work and I know that the owners hate seeing staff doing nothing; they are very strict.  

Manager: “Okay, it’s 5:30. Goodbye, everyone.” 

We were all out in the car park before 5:31, the manager locking the door on the way out. I guess that when the managers are the owners’ parents, they get to make their own rules.

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That Would Be A Mis-Steak, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | October 9, 2020

I am having a late dinner by myself after a long day’s work. Next to me, there is a “lady” and her husband; she is giving the waitress h***. It is clearly not deserved; she’s just picky and unreasonable, blaming her for everything — the usual sort of thing we read here. She also sends her steak back — too well done.

When the redo comes back, I say to her:

Me: “I admire you. So strong and so brave.”

She looks at me, trying to figure out how it could be an insult.

Lady: *Suspiciously* “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, you’re brave enough to piss off someone who is totally able to determine what goes into your food — someone who can do things to it you would probably never think of or find out about.”

The waitress nearly loses it. She replies, obviously trying desperately to keep a laugh down, but a quarter-laugh escapes.

Waitress: “Oh, don’t worry, madam; there’s nothing in your food you need to be concerned about.”

The woman looks at her steak for a long time while the waitress goes to go look after other people, looks at me, looks at the steak, gets up, and walks out. She can’t get out without paying, though.

The waitress comes back and smiles.

Waitress: “Say, since she’s paid, how would you like a free steak? I can cancel your main. I promise there’s nothing wrong with it.”

Free steak night!

That Would Be A Mis-Steak

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Screwing Over Your Coworkers Is Exhausting Work

, , , , , | Working | October 6, 2020

I started work before nine, and I usually go to lunch at 12:30. My coworker always insists on going at 12:00. I’ve been working on my own since just before noon. I have no idea where the two staff that are supposed to work with me have gone. It’s almost three when they turn back up.

Coworker #1: “Back just in time for me to go home.”

Coworker #2: “Okay, I’m going to lunch.”

Me: “I thought you went to lunch at noon.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, I was going to, but when I got to the lunchroom, [Manager], [Coworker #1] and I decided to have a department meeting at the table while we ate.”

Department meetings are supposed to involve all staff members, usually after hours, but these three staff make up their own rules.  

Me: “Seeing that you’ve eaten, could I go to lunch now?”

Coworker #2: “No, I still need to have my break. Why would you need to go first?”

Me: “I haven’t eaten since eight am and I really have to go to the bathroom right now. I’ve been here for three hours on my own.”

She all but rolls her eyes.

Coworker #2: “Fine, you go, then. I’ll just have to wait an extra half-hour for my break even though I’m really tired.”

I guess sitting down for three hours is exhausting.

Me: “Okay, bye.”

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I Have A Sinking Feeling About This, Part 4

, , , , , , | Right | October 5, 2020

I’m washing my hands in an airport bathroom and there’s a sink closest to the door which is completely filled with water. There’s a sign on the wall saying, “Sink broken, management aware. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Seeing that this sink clearly won’t work, I use one of the other nine available sinks. 

As I’m drying my hands, I see another patron walk up to the broken sink, look at the sign, and then dunk his hands in the stagnant water and then walk out without even trying to look for some soap or drying his hands.

I Have A Sinking Feeling About This, Part 3
I Have A Sinking Feeling About This, Part 2
I Have A Sinking Feeling About This

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Someone’s Feeling A Little TOO Good

, , , , | Healthy | September 23, 2020

I am a student nurse who hasn’t seen much of the world. I’m working in a geriatric ward and I have been really enjoying working with these patients. Thus far, they have all been sweet, polite, and charming, and they usually have delightful things to tell me.

A group of patients has been positioned together in lounge chairs near the window. It’s a lovely sunny morning; the sun is streaming in and everyone is feeling great.

I approach one gentleman.

Me: “How are you doing there?”

Patient: “Ahhh…”

He settles himself right back in his chair.

Patient: “If I was any more comfortable, you’d be f****** me!”

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