Has A Specific Memory Of It Looking Different  

, , , , | Right | January 20, 2020

Customer: “Hello, I’ve driven quite far to get some prints from my old digital camera, and I’d like to pick them up today if possible.”

Me: “Absolutely, sir. Where’s the memory card?”

Customer: “Right here.”

(The customers unwraps a plastic bag and tries to hand me the contents. I just give him a knowing look that he quickly notices, he takes a look at the thing in his hand, and it dawns on him.)

Customer: “This is the battery, isn’t it?”

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Send You To Jail In An Undiscovered Country

, , , , , | Legal | January 18, 2020

In the early 1990s, I was part of a Star Trek reenacting of the Khitomer Peace Treaty between Humans and Klingons.

The guy playing Chancellor Gorkon, a Klingon, essential for the play, never turned up. “Surely, it is his new girlfriend; no respect for the fleet,” somebody accused. “He drank too much blood-wine,” somebody else suggested.

He never turned up… until the next day.

What had happened was the following: on the subway, two police officers asked him who he was; he said he was a Klingon. They thought this was a gang. They asked him what he intended to do with his big knife, and he replied that it was no big knife; it was a Bat’leth. And what are you going to do with this thingy? ”Kill puny humans.”

The police put him in the overnight arrest for planned manslaughter.

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Unfiltered Story #182267

, | Unfiltered | January 13, 2020

(In this story I am the customer after a long night out and I am not very sober. I am ordering my burger and since I hate vegetables on burgers, I request them to take a few things off)

Me: Can I get the cheeseburger meal without pickles, onion and cheddar please?
Employee: Uh, without cheddar?
Me: Yes please.
Employee: You know that cheddar is the cheese right?
Me: *Stunned* Oh… leave that on please.

Everyone starts laughing at me for forgetting something so basic as cheddar being cheese

Should Have Kept The Cat

, , , , , | Friendly | December 13, 2019

Back when I was a uni student, I went home to my parents each summer and worked in my hometown. 

On the morning of Midsummer Eve, one of the biggest holidays here in Sweden, our neighbour rang the doorbell and asked me if I could look after her cat over the weekend as she was going away. 

As soon as I had agreed, she dropped her key in my hand and ran off to her car. This was before cell phones and I had no way of contacting her. Oh, well, it was just over the weekend.

When I went over to feed the cat, I found one can of cat food on the counter. I checked the fridge and cupboards for more food but that was it. Well, it should last over the weekend, at least.

Monday came and no neighbour. 

Nor Tuesday and Wednesday. 

She came back three weeks later and we ended up in a huge argument as she refused to reimburse me for the cat food I had bought. She had left food, she insisted. Somehow one can should have lasted three weeks.

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Unfiltered Story #177694

, , | Unfiltered | November 15, 2019

I work as a cashier in a convenience store and am helping a woman who is buying some magazines.
Customer: Can I just ask, how old are you?
Me: I’m 21.
Customer: (very surprised) Oh, really?! I didn’t think THAT!
Me: How old did ypu think I was?
Customer: Oh, I don’t know, 22 maybe!