Unfiltered Story #104100

, | Unfiltered | January 22, 2018

(I answer my phone.)

Me: “[My Name].”

Telemarketer: :Hello, this is [His Name] calling about your home insurance.”

Me: “Nice, do you know what insurance company I have now?”

Telemarketer: “Shouldn’t you know?”

Me: “Yes, and I want to keep it that way. Please do not call again as I will now black list your number.”

(And another number went to the auto-reject list.)

Black Pepper Matters

, , | Right | January 16, 2018

(I work as a receptionist at a museum that has an exhibition about racism. This is when I am still an intern. I have only worked at the reception by myself a couple of times before, so I am a little nervous. A customer walks in.)

Customer: “May I ask you a question?”

Me: “Of course!”

(The customer looks at me with a deadly serious face.)

Customer: “Black pepper and white pepper. Is that racist?”

(Needless to say, I was stunned by the odd question.)

It’s Like She’s Toying With You

, , , , , | Right | January 8, 2018

(I work on a cruise ship as a dishwasher and we’ve just arrived in Stockholm. We’re in quite a rush, and it’s only my coworker and me left to do a huge pile of dishes before we have to lock down the pentry. The bar is already locked down and our supervisors have left. The only set of keys to the bar is three decks down. A few minutes before closing, one of the bartenders brought in a cheap toy — something you get for free when you pick up a piece of candy sold everywhere — which was left behind by some parent and then put it in the now locked-down bar section. The parent suddenly appears in the kitchen, holding his happy-looking baby.)

Parent: “Excuse me, have you guys seen a toy somewhere? I must have left it behind and we need to get off the boat.”

Coworker: “Yes, actually. One of our bartenders took it into the bar, and we’re closed now. They’ve locked all the doors; I’m sorry.”

Parent: “You have to do something! You need to kick in the door! My baby won’t stop crying; he loves that toy!” *the very happy-looking baby laughs*

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but we don’t have the keys to the bar, for security reasons. There’s nothing we can do. You can pick up the toy in Stockholm, too; it’s cheap and comes with [Candy].”

Parent: *shouting* “NO! HE WANTS THIS TOY! HE WON’T STOP CRYING! DO SOMETHING!” *the baby giggles*

Coworker: *looks at me, then nods* “All right, sir, I’ll try and call one of our supervisors to bring up the keys.”

Parent: “YES! THANK YOU!”

(No one answers my coworkers call, which isn’t unexpected, since we’ve all been up since 2:00 am and everyone usually goes straight to their cabin to catch up on their sleep.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but they’re not answering. I guess I could run down to the reception and see if the keys are there.”

Parent: *yelling even louder* “YES, YOU WILL! BRING ME MY CHILD’S TOY!”

(My coworker leaves and I’m left alone to try and rush through all the tasks, moving as fast as I can in the very small kitchen. The parent steps in.)

Me: “Sir, please, if you could just wait outside. My coworker is trying to find the keys and we’ll try to help, but I really need the space to do our tasks. She’ll be with you as fast as she can.”

Parent: “When will she get back?”

Me: “As fast as she can.”

Parent: “In two minutes? When will she be back?”

Me: *losing my temper a bit* “Sir, it will take the time it takes. The reception is three decks down and about 750 people are between her and the desk, getting off the boat. Are you sure you can’t pick up the toy in Stockholm? They sell it literally everywhere.”

Parent: “NO! HE WANTS THIS ONE! IT’S VERY IMPORTANT!”

(After a few minutes, my coworker arrived with the keys, looking flustered but happy to be able to help, opened the bar, and handed the toy to the baby. The parent did not say thank you, and the happy-looking, giggling baby started crying the moment he saw the toy. Thanks for nothing, I guess.)


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Wishing A Happy New Receipt

, , , | Right | December 31, 2017

(It’s New Year’s Eve, and two friends and I are last minute shopping before dinner. I’ve paid for my stuff, and am bagging my stuff.)

Cashier: “Would you like the receipt?”

(At this point, all I am thinking about is wishing the cashier a Happy New Year, so I’m not paying as much attention to what she said. Somehow, I heard her say “Happy New Year” instead.)

Me: “You, too!”

Cashier: “Uhh, excuse me?”

Me: “Happy New Year to you, too.”

Cashier: “Yeah, I was wondering if you wanted the receipt.”

Me: *facepalm, bright red from embarrassment* “No, thanks. And a Happy New Year.”

(Needless to say, my friends laughed at me the whole way home. I hope the cashier had a laugh, too!)

Going Toe To Toe With Stupidity

, , , , | Working | December 8, 2017

(I work in a storage warehouse, using large heavy-lifting trucks, and unfortunately, accidents do happen. One of my coworkers ended up in one such accident a few years back, which ended up costing him one toe and damaging the rest. One day at work, I hear this gem between him and one of our newer, less bright coworkers:)

Injured Coworker: “…so after the accident, I didn’t even notice something was wrong; I just noticed my foot was bleeding, so I walked into the office to tell [Boss].”

Coworker: “So, you walked in with one foot busted up?”

Injured Coworker: “Yeah, it didn’t even hurt, until I heard the other guys yell, ‘Hey, get some ice! This guy’s toe is still here!’”

Coworker: “But, you said you don’t have a toe! This was years ago! Hasn’t it, like, grown back?”

(After that comment, we were all snickering but his answer made us all just break into laughter:)

Injured Coworker: “[Coworker], do I look like a lizard to you?!”

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