An Absolut Idiot

, , , | Right | February 15, 2020

(I work in a liquor store on a boat that sails between Sweden and Finland. The customer in this story is Swedish.)

Customer: “Do you have Swedish alcohol?”

Me: “Certainly. What are you looking for?”

Customer: “Swedish alcohol.”

Me: “Ah, yes, but what kind of product are you looking for, more specifically? Spirits? Schnapps? Beer?”

Customer: “It has to be Swedish.”

Me: “But—”

Customer: “From Sweden.”

Me: *screaming inwardly* “Let’s go look at our selection…”

(After showing him a range of assorted Swedish brands, I return to my till. Ten minutes later, I see the customer paying for a large bottle of vodka, named after its country of origin — which is not Sweden.)

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Sick Of This Pettiness

, , , , , | Learning | February 9, 2020

I am a teacher. One day, some years ago, I woke up with the flu: delirious from a spiking fever and only able to croak a few words. I was in no shape to teach, so I called in sick.

Half an hour later, a substitute teacher called me for instructions. I told her that I could barely speak but it was also apparent that I had no voice. I was probably rambling a little due to the fever but managed to tell her the lesson plans.

I then hung up and dozed off in feverish dreams. Twenty minutes later, she called again. She had lost her notes, and could I possibly repeat them? I croaked the lesson plans, hung up, and dozed off.

Fifteen minutes later, she called again. She had lost her notes. Could I repeat the lesson plans?

Wheezing and croaking, I went through the lessons for a third time, told her that if she lost her notes again she would have to improvise as I had the flu and couldn’t talk. Just leave me alone.

Five minutes later, the principal called and wondered why I refused to give out the lesson plan to the sub.

He didn’t sound entirely convinced when I told him that I had. Three times in less than an hour.

The sub then called me again screaming that she’d lost the lesson plans and I’d better come to work and instruct her. I had a coughing fit into the receiver and hung up on her.

I was fuming, partly from the fever but also because the sub was trying to set me up. Her daughter was in my class, and a few weeks prior, I hadn’t fussed enough when her daughter was sick. I spoke to the teacher she had for the class after mine so that she would get home quicker, but that wasn’t good enough, and the sub had harassed me for quite a while.

However… My desk was opposite one of the school’s most senior teachers. This was a fabulous teacher who wasn’t afraid to voice her opinion on difficult matters. She was also the next-door neighbour of the sub, and the two hated each other. As the sub was in a foul mood, she fairly quickly began screaming at the other teacher, who in turn screamed back. The sub then began throwing stuff at them!

As they weren’t alone in the room, the sub couldn’t deny that she had begun the attacks, and she was banned from ever working at my school again.

During the screaming match, the sub bragged about how she had harassed me that day and in the previous weeks, so I didn’t end up in any trouble despite her scheming.

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Unfiltered Story #185642

, | Unfiltered | February 9, 2020

My husband used to work in a small shop that sold tobacco, sweets, soft drinks and ice cream. In Sweden, you have to be 18 to buy tobacco but many still try to buy it while underaged. A girl of about 16 comes into the shop.

Husband: “Hello!”
Girl: “Hi, a packet of (cigarette brand), please!”
Husband: “Sure, could I see some ID, please?”
Girl: “I left it at home!”
Husband: “Well, then you need to go home and fetch it.”

The girl leaves but only a minute later another girl of about the same age tries the same thing. She has no ID either and is then promptly turned away by husband. Then a third girl comes in. She pushes up her breasts as much as she can, making sure her cleavage is visible to husband. The same scenario, no ID, and no cigarettes. She does try to flirt a lot with husband to no avail. When she leaves, my husband sees her meeting the other two outside and hear them speaking to each other before they leave:

Girl #3 to Girl #1 and #2: (astonished tone of voice) “He didn’t sell me any either!!”

Unfiltered Story #185640

, | Unfiltered | February 9, 2020

(I work at the luckywheels, where you can win huge amounts of candy or similar, at a very famous amusement park in Sweden. I am a transman and on my uniform it says my prefered name. I usually wear a binder however this day my ribs were hurting so much I simply couldn’t. I was standing with my co-worker, turning on the numbers for the paying guests, when suddenly a guest at the far end starts shouting.)

Guest#1: Hey lady I want to pay too!
Me: *annoyed witht he pronoun but simply smile* Of course just one minute! *talk to guest infront of me* And you want this numer?
Guest#2: Yes please!
Guest#1: HEY LADY
Me: I’ll be there in just a sec!

(He continues to shout and I keep turning on the numbers quickly until I finally get to Guest#1. The man was about 35 with his gang of palls. To turn on the lights for the numbers we have buttons on the floor and sometimes we jump on them just to make something happen in the wheel. I did so and since I wasn’t wearing a binder or anything similar, my boobs jiggled.)

Me: And number one and two! *I start to turn around, back towards the middle as I talk* We have a full game everyone which means–
Guest#1: YEAH, SHOW US YOUR T*TS
Me:… let’s go.
Co-worker: *whispers to me* did he just?
Me: Yep.

(We called the guards and about 10 seconds later they were thrown out.)

Unfiltered Story #186492

, | Unfiltered | February 8, 2020

[It is extremely hectic and we have an awful lot to do when the phone rings. I stop for a second and answer]
Me: [Name of bingo parlor], How can I help you.
Young kid caller: I want to poop in your ear! *click*