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Does Not Pass With Flying Colors, Part 3

, , | Right | May 10, 2021

We keep our disposable lighters behind the counter, and whenever a customer wants one I make sure to ask if they want any particular colour. Some appreciate it, but mostly people don’t care and will let me pick whatever. And then there’s this guy.

Customer: “I want a lighter.”

Me: “Does the colour matter?”

Customer: “Just grab any.”

I pick the closest one, which happens to be blue.

Customer: “No, not that colour. Gimme a black one.”

Does Not Pass With Flying Colors, Part 2
Does Not Pass With Flying Colors

Now Listen Here, Sunshine…

, , , | Right | May 7, 2021

The florist is talking to a man that wants to know the price of the lemon trees. For some reason, this makes the woman next to them butt in.

Customer: “Are these lemon trees? Is the fruit gonna turn yellow or are they gonna be green?”

Florist: *Trying to be nice although she is cutting in line* “The fruit is going to turn yellow if you put it outside and if we have enough sun this summer.”

Customer: “So they are gonna turn yellow?”

Florist: “Yes, but they aren’t going to taste nice; they are decorative.”

Customer: “And these orange trees, do they also have to have sun?”

Florist: “Yes, they are just like the lemon trees and have to have sun in order to thrive.”

Customer: “How much do they grow?”

Florist: “Well, not that much; they grow really slowly.”

Customer: “And they have to have sun, both of them?”

Florist: “Yes.”

Customer: “And are the fruit on the orange tree gonna be green, as well, or are they gonna turn yellow like the lemons?”

Florist: “No, those are oranges and they are going to turn orange, if they get enough sunshine.”

Customer: “Sunshine… outside?”

Florist: “Yes.”

Customer: *Mumbling to herself* “Sunshine, they have to have sunshine.”

The woman then walked out of the flower shop and stood for several minutes just staring at the citrus trees, although I somehow doubt that she knew that they were both citrus trees.

Raising Their Voice About The Invoice

, , , , | Right | May 7, 2021

A customer orders an item online to pick up at the pharmacy and chooses to pay by invoice. The item is delivered to the pharmacy, and the customer comes in.

Customer: “I don’t want this item anymore.”

I happen to work that day, so I give her her money back. 

A while later, the customer receives the invoice and pays for the item. She then goes back to the pharmacy to get the invoice refunded. Again, I’m the one working.

Me: “I can’t refund the invoice, since I already gave you money back and that it would be a ‘double refund.’ You can’t get the money back twice.”

She doesn’t understand. In her mind she’s right, and she gets upset. I give her the number for customer service, hoping they can make her understand. I can’t help but wonder if I’m wrong and she really should get her money back.

A few weeks later, I get an email from someone working in our head office, wanting to know what this is all about. I send an email back explaining what’s happened. They then send me another email, saying that I did the right thing. I haven’t heard anything since then, but I have a feeling this customer isn’t going to give up that easily. We’ll see what happens.

IDs Are The Dane Of My Existence

, , , | Right | April 24, 2021

Customer: “I have a parcel to collect, but I only have a Danish driver’s license. Will it work?”

The customer speaks Swedish without any perceptible Danish accent. But we are just a couple of hours from the border.

Me: “Sorry, but we do not accept foreign driver’s licenses. Do you have any other form of ID, maybe a passport, with you?”

Customer: *Angry* “How come the police accept foreign driver’s licenses but not you?!”

Me: “You have to ask [Postal Company]’s customer service about that. But if you give me your tracking ID, I can check what I can do.”

If he’s lucky, the parcel is sent as a “big letter” and doesn’t require any forms of identification. Otherwise, his best chance would be that the parcel happens to be addressed to his partner or someone else with a possible valid ID.

Customer: “It’s [tracking ID].”

I check the computer.

Me: “Hmmm… It still requires an ID… But the field for the recipient’s name is blank on my screen. If you just give me a second, I will check the parcel.”

It’s not unusual that the field is blank. There are many standards out in the world, and not everyone coincides with ours. I find the parcel, but I can’t find any name for a receiver. The tracking ID is correct, so it’s not the wrong parcel. After further examination, I find that the recipient’s name is a twelve-digit number. This is very odd, but I recognize it as a Swedish personal ID number. It belongs to a male and spells a birthdate that would match his appearance. While unusual, the sender is allowed to identify the receiver in any way they see fit — provided that they have an ID that can prove it. In this case, they need a Swedish ID. Bummer.

Me: “Sorry, I found the parcel, but it is addressed to a Swedish personal ID number, so I can only accept Swedish IDs.”

Customer: *Angry, and obviously not listening* “Then how come the police accept foreign driver’s licenses but not you?!”

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t hand out the parcel unless I have a Swedish ID so I can check the Swedish ID number.”

Customer: *Angry* “I want her to help me, instead!”

He points at my coworker, who has been helping other customers two metres away. She has heard and knows everything. She takes over, and I help the next person in line.

Coworker: “Sorry, but I can’t hand out that parcel without a Swedish ID.”

Customer: *Defeated, but not showing it* “Okay. But then give me a bet on [lottery] for twenty-five kronor.”

In compliance with anti-money laundering laws, the betting machine will not sell anything until it has confirmed the customer’s identity, which requires a… guess what.

Coworker: “Sorry, but I need a Swedish ID for that.”

The customer gave a roar of anger and left.

Useless IT Worker, Reporting For Duty

, , , , , | Working | April 19, 2021

I come into my office one day, fire up my computer, and realise that I have no Internet. This has happened before since this was a temporary office set up for just me and my colleague for approximately two years before we were meant to move to another location. I try using my phone as a wireless hotspot. No Internet on my phone. That’s okay; I’ll just give IT a call and see what they have to say. 

IT is located about an hour away by car in another town.

IT: “No, we haven’t had any other complaints about the Internet. Have you tried rebooting your computer?”

Me: “Since the Internet on my phone doesn’t work, either, I’m sure this isn’t just a computer problem, but I have tried rebooting it already. No luck.”

IT: “Well, nobody has reported any problem, so there isn’t any problem with the Internet.”

Me: “I’m reporting it now. My colleagues probably won’t come to work for another hour so it’s no surprise that you haven’t heard anything from another person yet.”

IT: “I don’t see any problem, but I will look into it and will email you what I find, okay?”

Me: “No, since I don’t have Internet, I won’t be able to receive your email, whatever you find. Can you please text me?”

IT: “Okay, I will do that. Bye.”

Six hours later, after spending the day reading a magazine and talking s*** with people, the Internet came back. On my work email, there was an email from IT saying that there was a problem with the Internet in my area. Gee, thanks.