Grandchildren Grow On You, Like Fungus

, , , | Related | July 4, 2019

(I’m taking the bus to my workplace. Behind me are a grandmother and her grandchild, doing a crossword puzzle clearly intended for children. The kid is not nearly as interested as the grandmother seems to be.)

Grandmother: “All right, let’s see here. Three letters, ‘part of your foot.’ What do you think that could be?”

Kid: “I don’t know.”

Grandmother: “Come on. It’s fun! The clue is part… of… your… foot.”

Kid: “I… don’t… know.”

Grandmother: “Just take a guess! Here, look: what’s on Grandma’s foot right here?” *clearly indicating her toes*

Kid: *pause* “Fungus?”

(She quickly put down the crossword puzzle after that and said nothing else during the rest of the trip.)

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This Job Is Not Her Calling

, , , , | Working | June 26, 2019

I worked as a manager at a movie theatre and we hired a new girl to concession who seemed okay at first. Eventually, we learned that she tried to pretend she knew more than she did about the work and lied when caught. Whenever she had a question she would go to the head manager rather than us regular managers, causing annoyance. She also tried to play the managers against each other, claiming one of us had told her things which had not happened, etc. Unlucky for her, all of us were good friends with great communication, so whenever she said something, we called and double checked, even if the person was off from work.

We also learnt that she lied to customers whenever she did not know things rather than ask for help, causing annoyance and anger from the customers when they found out the truth. We two clashed repeatedly and every time we had a shift together there were conflicts.

The final straw was one Sunday when we were going to have an all-kids day, with half-price movie tickets for all the kids’ movies. It’s one of the busiest days of the year with full theatres non-stop from open until close. Everyone scheduled in the morning was going to start at half-past eight. At ten to nine, the new girl had still not shown up, so I called her asking where she was.

She answered very sleepily and claimed to be sick and said she had called the head manager about it around seven am. The head manager or office is who you call in sick to during the weekdays; on weekends you call the manager of the day on their cellphones as no one is in the office. I said I found it weird she had not called me and also noted that the head manager had not called me about her being sick, either, thus not giving me the opportunity to try and find a replacement in time. The girl confessed that the head manager had not answered the phone but she had left her a text. She also said she had called the office, saying she did not know no one was there this time of the morning on a Sunday which I knew was a lie.

Trying not to panic, knowing what lay ahead, I failed to get someone to cover her shift but managed to get a couple of people who were scheduled later to come in earlier. We took a huge toll the first couple of hours, being understaffed, and the stress showed in everyone’s faces. We had to cancel a couple of introductions and games, as well as breaks, and focus on concessions and cleaning.

Around 11 am, the head manager called. She had talked to the girl and wanted to confirm with me. Not only had the girl said she had tried to reach me but failed before calling the head manager, she claimed again to have called the office, forgetting about it being empty. The head manager also said she had received the text around 8:40. She had no missed calls.

Half an hour later, an office manager walked into the theatre, having learnt what was going on. She went into the office and looked at the call logs on the phone. The girl had been telling the truth about calling the office… only the logs said she had called one time after nine, a couple of minutes after my call to her had ended.

For some reason, she still had a job afterward, but every time she and I had a shift together, she found some reason to change it, meaning I never worked with her again. Eventually, she quit on her own. I have met her a few times afterward and every time she acts like I’m some long lost friend she hasn’t seen in ages and is super nice. I’m having a hard time refraining from punching her in the face.

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Locked Into A Crazy Request

, , , | Right | June 20, 2019

(I work the front desk in a hotel located just outside of Stockholm. Our neighbouring hotel is of the same company and located just across the bay from us — you can easily see it from front desk — next to the ferries. During Christmas and New Year, they close down because of the low season and we answer their phone. This, of course, leads to many confusing conversations.)

Me: *answering the phone* “Hello, and welcome to [Hotel Brand and Location]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, hello! I am about to board the ferry and I think I’ve forgotten to lock my car in the parking lot!”

Me: “Okay? I’m not sure what you would like me to do about that.”

Caller: “Well, the check-in for the ferry closes in five minutes so I don’t have time to go check my car, and I’ll be gone for five days!”

Me: “Yes, okay, well, I assume you meant to call [Neighbour Hotel], as they are located next to the ferries? Is that right?”

Caller: “Yes. Why? Who are you?”

Me: “Well, the hotel is closed during Christmas and New Year and won’t open until the 5th of January, so I am afraid there is no one at the hotel. I am at [Hotel on the other side of the bay].”

Caller: “BUT MY CAR!”

Me: “I really can’t help you, sir. I am nowhere near your car, and I am also alone at my hotel so I couldn’t leave if I was.”

Caller: “Someone has to check my car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there is nothing I can do to help you with your car, and I highly doubt that, had the hotel been open, they would have been able to do much, either, as they can’t get into the ferries’ parking lot without authorization.”

Caller: “BUT MY CAR! I’ll be gone for five days!”

Me: “Well, maybe you should talk to the check-in clerks at the ferry instead of arguing with me if time is of the essence.”

Caller: “This is horrible service!”

Me: “Well, you haven’t actually paid for any service with our company, so…”

Caller: “MY CAR!”

Me: “I’m going to hang up now. Good luck!”

(He kept screeching as I hung up the phone. Maybe next time remember to lock your car?)

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Unfiltered Story #150988

, , | Unfiltered | May 16, 2019

(I work customer service at an online fashion store, and the customers can contact us by chat or email. A chat pops up with a customer wanting help. The only information we can see about the customer in the chat window is the email adress they’re writing from at the moment)

Me: Hi and welcome to [Company]. How can I help you today?
Customer: Yeah hi, I need your help to check what payment method I used on my latest order.
Me: Sure, one moment please while I check.

(Search system with customer’s email adress)

Me: I’m sorry ma’am but I can’t find your order searching only your email adress. Can you give me your social security number, or your customer number?
Customer: Sure, my social security number is xxxxxxxxxxxx
Me: Thank you, please wait while I check.

(Search system with social security number, but can’t find a customer account. I try to search her name instead, without results).

Me: I’m so sorry about this but I can’t find an active account with your social security number either. Can I have your phone number instead?
Customer: Jesus christ, I made my order just yesterday, have you cancelled it?! I just want to know my payment method! Here’s my phone number, make sure to find it this time.
Me: I can assure you your order has not been cancelled. I’ll try to find it with your phone number, thank you for waiting!

(Search again with phone number, again without results)

Me: I’m sorry, but I can’t find anything with your phone number either. Did you make your order from this email that you are using right now; [email protected]?
Customer: YES I don’t use any other email!
Me: I see. So you should have gotten an order confirmation to your email adress. Can you check your inbox for this order confirmation? It should contain all of this information, including payment method. If you still want me to check your payment method, then just send me your order number. You will find you order number in your order confirmation.
Customer: Hold on while I check.

(Waits about 5 minutes for customer to find her order confirmation)

Customer: I still can’t find it!
Me: That’s very unfortunate. Are you sure you made this order with your own email adress? Maybe you typed in your SO email? Is that possible?
Customer: Not likely
Me: Okay, but can you please give me his/hers email adress so I can check, just in case?
Customer: FINE, [email protected]
Me: Thank you, please hold on one moment!

(Search system with SO email, and find one order made the day before)

Me: Ma’am, I found one order made last night. The payment method is invoice by 14 days.
Customer: Right, I made it with his email! But that doesn’t explain why I didn’t get an order confirmation!?
Me: Okay great. Please be clear with this in future contact with us, about which account you placed your order from. Just to save you all the hassle!

When you place an order with a different email, naturally the order confirmation will go to that email.
Customer: I will. But I do NOT approve about not getting an order confirmation, I payed for my order and I want some kind of proof of this!
Me: I’m sure you can ask your boyfriend to just forward the order confirmation to you.
Customer. NO, he cannot do that. I don’t want him to see my order, so you need to send me an order confirmation right this moment.

(Customer then leaves the chat and closes the chat window).

Smaller Cabin Fever

, , , | Right | April 15, 2019

(I work the closing shift as a receptionist at a five-star campsite in Sweden. Most people who rent cabins book their stay weeks in advance as they are very popular. One evening I answer a call from a man speaking English with a heavy accent.)

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]. You’ve reached [Campsite]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need a room for tonight. One bed.”

Me: “You’re lucky! We have two cabins left that can be rented tonight: one with four beds and running water, and one smaller with two beds and no running water. You will have full access to our nearby service facilities where there are restrooms and showers no matter the choice.”

Caller: “I need a toilet in the cabin.”

Me: “Certainly! The larger cabin is [price] per night—“

Caller: “What? That’s not good enough. How much is the smaller cabin?”

Me: “That would be [about half the previous price].”

Caller: “Can’t you give me the bigger cabin for the price of the smaller one?”

Me: “Um, unfortunately, I cannot do that. You would still have restrooms nearby the smaller cabin if you don’t wish to pay for the larger one. I can assure you the service facilities are well maintained.”

(The caller grumbles something angrily in a language I don’t understand.)

Caller: “I’ll call you back.”

Me: “Of course! Keep in mind we can’t check you in after 10:00 pm when we close the reception.”

(He hangs up. An hour later, around 9:00 pm, a biker rides up and parks his motorcycle right outside the reception — not in the assigned parking space — and comes in. It has just started to rain.)

Man: “I called earlier. I need a cabin.”

Me: “Welcome. It was me you spoke to. Both cabins are still available for one night.”

Man: “I want the one with water, but the price is too high.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot lower the price. The cabin is in top shape, newly renovated. With the cheaper cabin, you’ll still have access to toilets and showers less than a fifty-meter walk away.”

Man: “I don’t want to walk in the rain! You won’t rent out that cabin tonight, anyway, unless I take it. I should be able to choose the price myself. Any money I don’t give you is money you lose! I want to speak to your manager. He will teach you how to make business.”

Me: “I could give you her number, but she doesn’t work right now and won’t answer until tomorrow. Until then, I have to follow our rules.”

Man: “Come on! This is stupid! I won’t pay that much! You’ll just lose business!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I’m not authorised to change our pricing for anyone.”

(The biker stomps out of the building swearing and gesturing obscenely. He takes off and I assume he’ll try to find a cheaper campsite. There is one about half an hour away, but I know already that all their cabins are fully booked. At 9:50 pm, the biker returns, fully drenched. It’s still raining.)

Man: “Look at me; I’m all wet! I want a shower in the cabin.”

Me: “That still is [price]. For [cheaper price] you’ll still have access to showers. They’re really close to the cabin; I can show you on our map here.”

Man: “Forget it. You know nothing about business. I’ll take the cheaper one.”

Me: “Sure! I just need your name, address, and a valid ID.”

(He is very reluctant to show me his ID, and even more so his address.)

Man: “What do you need my address for?”

Me: “We keep a register of all our guests to make booking faster should they come back. An address is part of the obligatory information needed to make a booking.”

Man: “Well, I’m not coming back here.”

Me: “I still need your address to complete your booking, sir.”

(Finally, he gave me an address. I got him his key and explained the map and some rudimentary rules. To save trouble for my colleagues in the morning, I didn’t even mention our option of paying at checkout and got him to pay upfront. The next day, I heard that my colleagues had to kick him out as he wouldn’t honor the checkout deadline. Apparently, he liked that smaller cabin after all.)

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