Sometimes Winging It… Works

, , , , , | Learning | May 22, 2020

Back in high school, I was the type of student who procrastinated and often did my homework at the last possible minute.

One day in class, at the end of the week, we were put into pairs, given an opinion on a topic, and then told we’d be debating for our opinion in two weeks, as another group had gotten an opposite opinion on the same topic. During the following week, we were to research our topic, find points to argue for our opinion, and together plan some sort of strategy. Every group had been given a few papers on their topic, but it was up to each group to find out more.

Unfortunately, I got a cold for a week and a half and stupidly did not look up anything, as I completely forgot about the assignment. Come Friday, upon entering the classroom, my mind was flooded with the memory of papers shoved into the bottom of my bag, my partner and I sitting together, and the deadline of today, the second of two weekly lessons with that teacher.

I more or less rushed over to my partner, asking her if she’d found anything, and her face said it all; she also hadn’t looked anything up. After asking around, we found out that we and our opponents would be the last to debate; everyone else got done during class earlier that week.

Fishing up the papers from two weeks before, we began hastily scrabbling for any information that would stick to our brains, when we looked up and saw the other group looking through their papers, pointing at some words, and discussing with each other. It was at that moment we knew we were screwed, and that our teacher would probably reprimand us for not doing anything.

Eventually, our teacher entered the classroom and everyone took a seat. She asked the two remaining groups to come up, and we solemnly made our way to one of two tables set up in the front of the classroom, ready to get an a**-kicking and a stern lecture on doing your homework.

The topic we’d been given was about prenatal care, and more specifically about screening pregnancy; my partner and I were for screening, while the other group was against it.

We both realized they had studied the subject, and they more or less took the lead in the debate. We did our best trying to lift up our opinion with what little we’d managed to remember from our short read-through, but we knew it would eventually turn into us going in a circle, repeating the same facts.

I somehow got into how a screening might tell if a fetus was at risk for a birth defect, which then delved into abortion, with them strongly making their case that abortion was bad, and thus screening was bad. It was then, when I knew we had nothing else left, that I pulled this line out of my a**:

“I’m not saying I stand for abortion, but I stand for women to have the choice and chance to prepare for a baby who might be born with a defect.”

That apparently threw them off, because they just stared silently at us and had nothing to say back.

We got a little applause from the rest of the class, and our teacher asked the class which one of the groups the rest of our classmates thought had made the stronger case on the topic, and they actually picked mine and my partner’s, pointing out my line as the “winning argument.”

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Unfiltered Story #194487

, | Unfiltered | May 22, 2020

I am the customer in this one. My only defense is that I have mild Autism so I can sometimes misinterpet people, especially on the phone. I call my optician to change an appointment.

Me: Hello! I had an appointment with you tomorrow at 3pm. I need to reschedule for neext week.

Assistant: No problem. I just need to find you in the computer. Is this [Not my name]?

Me: I have no idea who I was supposed to see.

Assistant: Okay…

This response struck me as odd and my socially impared brain takes several seconds to figure out what she really meant.

Me: Oh, you were asking for my name? It’s [Name].

In the end it turned out i was scheduled for the day after tomorrow. So I was double bad customer.

What They Were LED To Believe

, , | Right | May 14, 2020

I work in a call centre as product support for a well-known electronics company.

Me: “[Company]’s product support, [My Name] speaking; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I just bought this television and now, when I’m trying to watch it, I don’t see any picture. I do get picture if I use my new DVD player with it.”

Me: “Okay. So, just to specify, it’s a [Company] television?”

Customer: *Frustrated voice* “Yes, yes.”

Me: “All right, can I get the model number of the TV?”

The customer starts saying a weird-sounding model number and mentions another big electronics company’s name while muttering something inaudible.

Me: “Just a moment, did you just say [Company #2]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “So, is this actually a [Company #2]’s television?”

Customer: *Sighs frustratedly* “Yes?”

Me: “Do you realize you’re calling [Company]’s product support?”

Customer: “Yes, but it’s LED!”

I pause.

Me: “That still doesn’t make it our television. Here, I’ll find out the number for [Company #2]’s product support.”

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It Should Be As Clear As White And White

, , | Right | May 8, 2020

Customer: “Hello, I need a passport photograph.”

Me: “Certainly, if you would come right this way.”

We go over and enter the tiny photography studio. The customer is looking DIRECTLY at the white wall in the back, behind the stool where we will take the photograph.

Customer: “The photograph needs to have a white background.”

I am trying my hardest not to sound sarcastic.

Me: “We’ll see what we can do.”

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Unfiltered Story #193857

, , | Unfiltered | May 7, 2020

(I am the dumb customer in this story. I am an American traveling in Sweden, and don’t speak a word of Swedish. Before my trip, I went online and purchased, according to the website, a reservation for a train ticket. I go up to the ticket counter at the train station.)
Me: Hello, I have a reservation for a ticket. (I set my reservation printout on the desk.
Attendant: -Confused look-
Me: I printed out the reservation, and so I think I need to pick up my ticket here.
Attendant: This is your ticket. (She indicates the writing on the ticket) “Biljett” is Swedish for ticket. You just need to go to the platform.
(I felt rather silly that I hadn’t even thought to translate one word of Swedish, especially since I didn’t think of myself as the stereotypical clueless American tourist. I could have sold the train company my firstborn child and been none the wiser.)