Unfiltered Story #146062

, | Unfiltered | April 7, 2019

I worked in customer support for a big telephone company, and got quite a lot of stupid calls. One thing that customers often complained about was the 19 SEK administrative fee for sending out their bills to them by mail. We were instructed to advice our customers that they could avoid that fee by paying their bills online through their internet bank, or to have the bank set it up so that the bills would be paid automatically every month. Some older people distrust these modern methods, as they are afraid of phishing. One man in particular had his own solution to this problem:

Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s no way that we can remove these administrative charges.”

Old Man: “They have done it for me before!”

I read the notes on the man’s account and see that he’s called once a month for the past year trying to get us to remove the fee, and that we should not allow this anymore.

Me: “Well, that may be, but we are not allowed to do that. If my coworkers have made a mistake, that’s their fault, but I can’t remove this fee for you, it’s against our rules.”

Old Man: You know, considering that I spend so much time going through my bills, writing out the sum and mailing to the bank to get the bills paid, I think YOU owe ME 19 SEK in administrative fees! You can take that off of my bill!”

Me: …”Yeah, I’ll pass that suggestion on to my supervisor. In the mean time, you have to pay the administrative fees.”

Their Sharing Tactic Is Golden

, , , , , | Related | March 26, 2019

Two boys – about five and eight years old – enter my store carrying a bag full of empty bottles and cans. They head straight for the recycling machine. Five minutes later, they come to my register and hand me a 30-kronor recycling receipt — about $3. I hand them a 20-kronor banknote and 10-kronor coin in change.

The older boy says to the younger boy, “Do you want the piece of paper… or do you want the golden coin?

Needless to say, the younger boy chooses the less valuable gold coin.

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It’s An Inherited Condition

, , , , | Healthy | February 25, 2019

(I am a family doctor. A man in his thirties books an appointment because he has felt so extremely tired the last three years. It turns out he has got a job that requires a thorough physical test every year, and he just recently passed one of them, so I am a bit confused about the situation with the extreme tiredness that has lasted so long. I order some standard blood tests just to be sure and continue my conversation with the man.)

Me: “And how does your family situation look?”

Patient: “Well, I got a wife and two kids.”

Me: “All right, and how old are the kids?”

Patient: “Two and three years old.”

(The diagnosis turned out to be parenthood.)

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Avoid Taking These, But When You Do… Go Crazy!

, , , | Healthy | February 19, 2019

(I typically never get ill, but when I do catch a bad cold, I tend to get pink eye, an ear infection, and a sinus infection all at once. This happens between Christmas and New Year’s about ten years ago. I’m miserable and decide I need to see a doctor to get some antibiotics. I go to my local health center, but since it is holiday time, my normal doctor is not there. Instead, a temp doctor sees me. At the time I am very overweight.)

Doctor: “You know, you could benefit from losing a few kilos!”

(As if I didn’t know!)

Me: “Okay, but what about my cold?”

Doctor: *while listening to my lungs* “You have really light skin and a lot of birthmarks. Make sure you use sunscreen!”

Me: “Okay, but do I need antibiotics?”

Doctor: “Mmm, but we should only take antibiotics if it is absolutely unavoidable. I’ll give you a prescription, but don’t use it unless you don’t get better in a few days!”

Me: “Fair enough!”

Doctor: *looking through his big book of drugs* “So, how many pills do you need?”

(Yeah, he is serious. He asks me what the dosage is. Then, he calculates from my weight that I should have 21 pills per day! When I protest, he becomes irritated and snarky and gives me the largest dosage in the book.)

Doctor: “Are you happy now? “

(Eh, yeah. Sure! I just left as soon as I could. A few days later, I needed those pills, as I wasn’t getting better. When I spoke to the pharmacy, they were horrified to hear about the 21-pill dosage. They said that they would never, EVER have given me that much. Later, I returned to my regular doctor for a follow-up, and he was just as horrified. He also told me that the dosage I did get was what they give to bad cases of pneumonia. So, yeah, I was cured, but my doctor said that they would never use that doctor again.)

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Taking Stock(holm) Of The Language

, , , , | Right | January 31, 2019

(I’m Canadian, currently doing a study-abroad semester in Stockholm. It’s just before Christmas, when I’m set to head home, so I’m browsing a well-known department store for some gifts. I’m looking at a display of scarves when an elderly woman comes up to me with an armful of items.)

Customer: *speaks Swedish*

(Although I’ve tried to learn the basics, I’m nowhere near fluent in Swedish and have no idea what this lady is saying.)

Me: “Um… Jag kan inte… pratar svenska. Um… sorry.” *I can’t speak Swedish.*

Customer: *scoffs and rolls her eyes, and keeps speaking Swedish*

Me: “I don’t speak Swedish. Um, I’m sorry. I can’t help you.”

(I turn back to the display of scarves, but she forcefully grabs my arm and tries to pull me back. I can’t stand random people touching me, so I give her hand a brisk slap.)

Me: “Please don’t touch me! I have no idea what you’re saying and I can’t help you. I’m very sorry! Now, please leave me alone!”

Customer: *starts screaming at me in Swedish*

(Her expression makes her look like she wants to claw my eyes out. Thankfully, an employee comes over and tries to defuse the situation. It doesn’t help much, and eventually, the lady has to be escorted out by security.)

Employee: “I’m so sorry. She thought you worked here and was trying to get you to give her a discount. She’s actually done this to so many people that she’s not supposed to be in the store, but we have so many entrances it’s hard to keep her out. But you’re American, right? No one from here would’ve stood up for themselves and caused a scene.” *pauses* “Not that it’s a bad thing. We Swedes just don’t like drawing attention to ourselves.”

Me: “Canadian, actually. But thanks, I think?”

Employee: “Aha! Well, that explains how you can stand up for yourself and be polite at the same time. Good for you!”

(He went back to work, and I was left there thinking, “What the heck just happened?”)

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