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They Have A Grave Request

, | Right | July 4, 2017

(In Swedish schools it’s common for students to intern and try out jobs every now and then. One year I was interning at a graveyard and raking some leaves when a lady in her 30s-40s walks towards me.)

Lady: “Hello, I did some family research and it turns out my great grandfather [Name] rests here. Could you show me his grave?”

Me: “Sorry, miss. I’m just an intern and don’t really know all the grave locations, but my supervisor might.”

(I then point towards the church itself where my supervisor is working at the moment. The lady walks off towards the church and I don’t see her again until a few days later when she comes back up to me.)

Lady: “Here! I got a portrait of [My Name]; can you show me his grave now?”

(Surprised and amused, I try to play it cool with the conversation.)

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but I still don’t know the grave locations. Didn’t you speak with my supervisor?”

(At this point the lady goes into a rage about my incompetence and how it’s my job to know all the graves. I try to explain to her that there are hundreds of graves and not even my supervisor knows all of them, but luckily my supervisor comes to the rescue.)

Supervisor: “Is there a problem, miss?”

Lady: “Yes! This incompetent little wimp can’t even do his one job right and refuses to help me!”

Supervisor: “Weren’t you here a few days ago, and what does he refuse to do?”

Lady: “Yes, a few days ago you told me you didn’t know the all the graves and see if I could find the grave number. I couldn’t but i found this portrait of [Name]. Isn’t that enough!”

(My supervisor then goes on to explain why it does not work that way and then finally the lady storms off shouting.)

Lady: “FINE! IF YOU DON’T WANNA HELP ME I MIGHT AS WELL JUST GIVE UP!”

(She then goes on to tip over flower pots on the close enough graves, whilst angrily walking to her car and driving away. I never saw her again.)

Supervisor: *sarcastically* “Maybe we should dig up all the graves and check their faces in case this happens again!”

Had A Hand In Your Pain

, , , , | Working | June 30, 2017

This happened when I was 13. I was a country girl, to explain the next part. I am at a friend’s place for the day and she is going out in the tractor. I went along, and somehow manage to crush my hand quite badly between mechanical parts. Things get a bit fuzzy at that point, so I only remember that it hurt like hell and her mum drove me home asap. My dad takes one look at me, curses her out for not taking me to the ER, and drives me there himself. When we get there we we’re told to sit and wait.

We wait for several hours. I pass out a few times and have worked myself into hysteria. Dad is trying to get the staff to get me in quicker, at least so I can get some painkillers. A sweet guy in the waiting room with a sprained foot is called before us, and insists that the little girl (aka me) get treatment first.

I am admitted and a doctor comes by to check out my swollen and discoloured hand. What happened next still gives me nightmares.

He prods at it, and cheerfully tells me and my dad that they’ll probably have to amputate it.

Now, I was already hysterical. Being told that I am going to lose my hand did NOT help things. Things get fuzzy here, but dad later told me I had a panic attack and that a nurse had to administer a mild sedative, and that they finally gave me some heavy duty painkillers.

I remember being very impressed with the shiny elevator on the way up to x-ray and much less impressed with the technician when they had to straighten out my fingers for the x-rays.

And guess what the x-rays showed? No breaks. A slight hairline fracture to one finger, but nothing that needed a cast. Definitely not amputation material. Some nerve damage, but all in all it wasn’t that bad. Dad cried, and I cried. The nurses were shocked when they heard why and what the doctor had told a terrified teenager in pain. A supervisor was called, and the doctor came slinking back to apologize for his mistake, and to this day I’m sort of shocked my dad refrained from hitting him.

Didn’t Head Where Your Head Expected

, , , , | Hopeless | June 26, 2017

(I’m a 23-year-old female and have recently got the side of my head tattooed. I have other visible tattoos and piercings, but this is the most extreme. I’m shopping in a department store for something nice to wear to my sister’s wedding. Eventually I notice an elderly female employee watching me. I figure it’s because of the tattoo, but she’s being far from discreet, which makes me a little uncomfortable. I move around the store, browsing, hoping she’ll eventually leave me alone. She watches me like a hawk, which makes me a little annoyed.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m not here to steal anything or whatever. I just need some nice clothes for a wedding. It’s making me a little uncomfortable that you’re hovering.”

(Her face goes white, and then she blushes furiously.)

Employee: “Oh, dear, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you were stealing. I’ve just never seen a tattoo like that. Can I look?”

(I’m a little taken aback, but pleasantly surprised. I let her look at my tattoo, and she studies it for quite a long time.)

Employee: “It’s lovely. I wish I had had the courage to do something crazy in my youth.” *pats me on my hands* “Don’t change.”

(This was a lovely surprise. She even asked to take a picture to show her grandchildren. I make sure to go back to that department store whenever I need something, and always say hello.)

Today I Feel Like Doing Sweet Nothings

, , | Romantic | June 22, 2017

Boyfriend: *whispering* “I love you.”

Me: “I love you, too.”

Boyfriend: “Know why I whispered it?”

Me: *expecting something romantic* “Why?”

Boyfriend: “Because I’m lazy.”

Stubbornness Is Digging In

, , , , | Friendly | June 21, 2017

I’m a lorry driver and drive a tipper trailer for a living. I’m at a jobsite that is more or less across the street from a kindergarten. The site is an elevated lot with a wall separating it and the street. A digger, clearly visible from anywhere on the street, is on the lot loading rocks on a trailer standing on the street no more than a metre from said wall. While we have no guards, there are signs in both directions telling pedestrians to go on the other side of the street.

I’m standing behind the lorry being loaded talking to my colleague who is driving it. He has a passenger who has decided to stay in it. While we’re talking, we suddenly see a woman with a kid in each hand hurriedly emerge from between the trailer and the wall and then cross the street towards the school while the two of us stand there mouth agape, too stunned to say anything.

We go to the front to see if the sign is still there, which it is, and we talk to my colleague’s astonished passenger who tells us he told the woman repeatedly that she could not walk there but she ignored him. One of her little girls however did react, stopped, and told her mother they shouldn’t walk there but the mother grabbed her arm and dragged her along.

This was a few years ago and I have since stopped being surprised at the sheer stupidity of people but really, did she really need a someone to tell her you do not walk between a digger and the lorry it is loading?