Someone’s On Drugs And It’s Not The Hamsters

, , , | Right | November 14, 2018

(It’s a Friday evening and I’m running the store by myself. There are only 15 minutes until we close so I’m doing some cleaning.)

Customer: *enters screaming* “You’ve been lying to me!”

Me: *rather startled* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: *still screaming* “You told me hamsters should eat hay and cat-litter!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve said no such thing. Perhaps you’ve talked to someone else?”

Customer: “No! I know it was you; you just don’t remember it because they give you drugs! The guards are on their way to arrest you!”

Me: “Sorry? Who gives us drugs?”

Customer: “Don’t play dumb! It’s those brothers!” *walks away towards the rodent aisle*

(I keep cleaning, thinking this is the end of it.)

Customer: *once again screaming* “There are drugs in these hamster treats! From South America! Why are you selling them?!”

(I walk up to the customer to see what she is talking about; she is currently holding a bag of hamster food I remember her hamster didn’t eat so she came back with it.)

Me: *thinking she have forgotten about it* “Ma’am, I recall you returning [Food] last time because he didn’t—”

Customer: *interrupts me* “SHUT THE H*** UP! I’M TALKING TO THE GUARDS! Your dog treats give you diarrhea!”

(I just shake my head and return to the register. A few minutes later the customer comes back to me.)

Customer: “[Our Store] are idiots! They said my hamster was a male, but she is a female! That’s why she will eat this food!”

Me: “We don’t sell hamsters.”

(I finish the transaction for the food and treats. Apparently, the fact that the treats will be drug-filled isn’t a problem now.)

Me: *as she is heading for the door* “Have a nice weekend!”

Customer: “You, too! I hope you get some dog treats; everybody likes cake!”

(Ah, the exciting work of a pet store employee.)

Red Vs Blue

, , , | Right | October 15, 2018

(I am working in a bingo parlour.)

Customer: “I would like a marker pen, please.”

Me: “What colour? Red, or blue?”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter.”

(I give them a blue marker pen.)

Customer: “I would rather have a red one.”

Cost You Down To The Bone

, , | Right | October 3, 2018

(My colleague and I work in the gift shop of our local museum, where we tend to have rather high-priced, locally-made products. The customer in question is a man with his ten-year-old daughter. She is interested in a scoop-shaped drinking vessel made of bone from a bear, and it’s 50% off.)

Me: “That’ll be [amount].”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “It’s actually 50% off…”

(He starts to scream and walk off, dragging his daughter by the hand.)

Me: “It’s a unique handmade product made of natural materials, which is why the price is a bit—”

Customer: “NO, IT’S NOT! BULLS***! I CAN MAKE THAT MYSELF!”

Me: “Oh. Okay, then.”

(He stormed out, leaving me and my colleague staring after him in bewilderment.)

Unfiltered Story #122243

, | Unfiltered | October 1, 2018

(A company has been trying to get in contact witch my mom for the past week, but since they called so early in the day when my mom wasn’t at home, they try again the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that… By the fifth time I’m starting to get a bit annoyed at them.)
Caller: “Hello, I’m calling from [company], and-”
Me: “She’s not at home right now.”
Caller: “…Wha…?” *confused silence*  “Uhm… Ok, sorry to bother you.” *hangs up*
Me: *silently chuckling to myself*

This Isn’t Bunny

, , , , | Right | September 2, 2018

(I am an intern at a local pet store. I am about 16 or 17, and it is my first week. A man walks up to me and asks if we have any rabbits.)

Me: “Certainly! Right this way!”

(The man takes a look at the rabbits.)

Customer: “No, these won’t do; they have claws. Do you have any without claws?”

Me: “No, sir, all rabbits have claws. They need them.”

Customer: “Why? Why do they need claws?”

Me: *a bit stunned* “Well, sir, they are meant to dig, so they need the claws for that.”

Customer: “Can you remove them?”

Me: “No, sir, we cannot remove the rabbits’ claws.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you have any other animals without claws?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

(The man stares blankly at me for a couple of moments:)

Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I’m a bunny-rabbit!”

(Then, he walked out, leaving me with probably the most confused face ever.)

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