Locked Into A Crazy Request

, , , | Right | June 20, 2019

(I work the front desk in a hotel located just outside of Stockholm. Our neighbouring hotel is of the same company and located just across the bay from us — you can easily see it from front desk — next to the ferries. During Christmas and New Year, they close down because of the low season and we answer their phone. This, of course, leads to many confusing conversations.)

Me: *answering the phone* “Hello, and welcome to [Hotel Brand and Location]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, hello! I am about to board the ferry and I think I’ve forgotten to lock my car in the parking lot!”

Me: “Okay? I’m not sure what you would like me to do about that.”

Caller: “Well, the check-in for the ferry closes in five minutes so I don’t have time to go check my car, and I’ll be gone for five days!”

Me: “Yes, okay, well, I assume you meant to call [Neighbour Hotel], as they are located next to the ferries? Is that right?”

Caller: “Yes. Why? Who are you?”

Me: “Well, the hotel is closed during Christmas and New Year and won’t open until the 5th of January, so I am afraid there is no one at the hotel. I am at [Hotel on the other side of the bay].”

Caller: “BUT MY CAR!”

Me: “I really can’t help you, sir. I am nowhere near your car, and I am also alone at my hotel so I couldn’t leave if I was.”

Caller: “Someone has to check my car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there is nothing I can do to help you with your car, and I highly doubt that, had the hotel been open, they would have been able to do much, either, as they can’t get into the ferries’ parking lot without authorization.”

Caller: “BUT MY CAR! I’ll be gone for five days!”

Me: “Well, maybe you should talk to the check-in clerks at the ferry instead of arguing with me if time is of the essence.”

Caller: “This is horrible service!”

Me: “Well, you haven’t actually paid for any service with our company, so…”

Caller: “MY CAR!”

Me: “I’m going to hang up now. Good luck!”

(He kept screeching as I hung up the phone. Maybe next time remember to lock your car?)

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Unfiltered Story #150988

, , | Unfiltered | May 16, 2019

(I work customer service at an online fashion store, and the customers can contact us by chat or email. A chat pops up with a customer wanting help. The only information we can see about the customer in the chat window is the email adress they’re writing from at the moment)

Me: Hi and welcome to [Company]. How can I help you today?
Customer: Yeah hi, I need your help to check what payment method I used on my latest order.
Me: Sure, one moment please while I check.

(Search system with customer’s email adress)

Me: I’m sorry ma’am but I can’t find your order searching only your email adress. Can you give me your social security number, or your customer number?
Customer: Sure, my social security number is xxxxxxxxxxxx
Me: Thank you, please wait while I check.

(Search system with social security number, but can’t find a customer account. I try to search her name instead, without results).

Me: I’m so sorry about this but I can’t find an active account with your social security number either. Can I have your phone number instead?
Customer: Jesus christ, I made my order just yesterday, have you cancelled it?! I just want to know my payment method! Here’s my phone number, make sure to find it this time.
Me: I can assure you your order has not been cancelled. I’ll try to find it with your phone number, thank you for waiting!

(Search again with phone number, again without results)

Me: I’m sorry, but I can’t find anything with your phone number either. Did you make your order from this email that you are using right now; [email protected]?
Customer: YES I don’t use any other email!
Me: I see. So you should have gotten an order confirmation to your email adress. Can you check your inbox for this order confirmation? It should contain all of this information, including payment method. If you still want me to check your payment method, then just send me your order number. You will find you order number in your order confirmation.
Customer: Hold on while I check.

(Waits about 5 minutes for customer to find her order confirmation)

Customer: I still can’t find it!
Me: That’s very unfortunate. Are you sure you made this order with your own email adress? Maybe you typed in your SO email? Is that possible?
Customer: Not likely
Me: Okay, but can you please give me his/hers email adress so I can check, just in case?
Customer: FINE, [email protected]
Me: Thank you, please hold on one moment!

(Search system with SO email, and find one order made the day before)

Me: Ma’am, I found one order made last night. The payment method is invoice by 14 days.
Customer: Right, I made it with his email! But that doesn’t explain why I didn’t get an order confirmation!?
Me: Okay great. Please be clear with this in future contact with us, about which account you placed your order from. Just to save you all the hassle!

When you place an order with a different email, naturally the order confirmation will go to that email.
Customer: I will. But I do NOT approve about not getting an order confirmation, I payed for my order and I want some kind of proof of this!
Me: I’m sure you can ask your boyfriend to just forward the order confirmation to you.
Customer. NO, he cannot do that. I don’t want him to see my order, so you need to send me an order confirmation right this moment.

(Customer then leaves the chat and closes the chat window).

Smaller Cabin Fever

, , , | Right | April 15, 2019

(I work the closing shift as a receptionist at a five-star campsite in Sweden. Most people who rent cabins book their stay weeks in advance as they are very popular. One evening I answer a call from a man speaking English with a heavy accent.)

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]. You’ve reached [Campsite]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need a room for tonight. One bed.”

Me: “You’re lucky! We have two cabins left that can be rented tonight: one with four beds and running water, and one smaller with two beds and no running water. You will have full access to our nearby service facilities where there are restrooms and showers no matter the choice.”

Caller: “I need a toilet in the cabin.”

Me: “Certainly! The larger cabin is [price] per night—“

Caller: “What? That’s not good enough. How much is the smaller cabin?”

Me: “That would be [about half the previous price].”

Caller: “Can’t you give me the bigger cabin for the price of the smaller one?”

Me: “Um, unfortunately, I cannot do that. You would still have restrooms nearby the smaller cabin if you don’t wish to pay for the larger one. I can assure you the service facilities are well maintained.”

(The caller grumbles something angrily in a language I don’t understand.)

Caller: “I’ll call you back.”

Me: “Of course! Keep in mind we can’t check you in after 10:00 pm when we close the reception.”

(He hangs up. An hour later, around 9:00 pm, a biker rides up and parks his motorcycle right outside the reception — not in the assigned parking space — and comes in. It has just started to rain.)

Man: “I called earlier. I need a cabin.”

Me: “Welcome. It was me you spoke to. Both cabins are still available for one night.”

Man: “I want the one with water, but the price is too high.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot lower the price. The cabin is in top shape, newly renovated. With the cheaper cabin, you’ll still have access to toilets and showers less than a fifty-meter walk away.”

Man: “I don’t want to walk in the rain! You won’t rent out that cabin tonight, anyway, unless I take it. I should be able to choose the price myself. Any money I don’t give you is money you lose! I want to speak to your manager. He will teach you how to make business.”

Me: “I could give you her number, but she doesn’t work right now and won’t answer until tomorrow. Until then, I have to follow our rules.”

Man: “Come on! This is stupid! I won’t pay that much! You’ll just lose business!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I’m not authorised to change our pricing for anyone.”

(The biker stomps out of the building swearing and gesturing obscenely. He takes off and I assume he’ll try to find a cheaper campsite. There is one about half an hour away, but I know already that all their cabins are fully booked. At 9:50 pm, the biker returns, fully drenched. It’s still raining.)

Man: “Look at me; I’m all wet! I want a shower in the cabin.”

Me: “That still is [price]. For [cheaper price] you’ll still have access to showers. They’re really close to the cabin; I can show you on our map here.”

Man: “Forget it. You know nothing about business. I’ll take the cheaper one.”

Me: “Sure! I just need your name, address, and a valid ID.”

(He is very reluctant to show me his ID, and even more so his address.)

Man: “What do you need my address for?”

Me: “We keep a register of all our guests to make booking faster should they come back. An address is part of the obligatory information needed to make a booking.”

Man: “Well, I’m not coming back here.”

Me: “I still need your address to complete your booking, sir.”

(Finally, he gave me an address. I got him his key and explained the map and some rudimentary rules. To save trouble for my colleagues in the morning, I didn’t even mention our option of paying at checkout and got him to pay upfront. The next day, I heard that my colleagues had to kick him out as he wouldn’t honor the checkout deadline. Apparently, he liked that smaller cabin after all.)

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Unfiltered Story #146912

, | Unfiltered | April 14, 2019

(I’m in a video game store that I frequently visit. Today, I’m about to pre-order a game that I’ve been eyeing for quite a while.)

Cashier: Would you like to become a plus member of this store?

Me: Does it cost anything?

Cashier: Nope, not a thing. Using the membership card every time you shop here will eventually net you level-ups and some great offers.

Me: Oh, sweet! Then I’d like to sign up, please.

(I give him my name, birth date and address.)

Cashier: And what’s your e-mail address?

Me: …Er, actually, can I write it up instead? It’s an e-mail I created ages ago, so it’s a bit embarrassing to say out loud.

(The cashier just chuckles and prints out a receipt for me to write my e-mail on.)

Me: I’ve had it since I was 10 years old and I can’t be bothered to get a new one.

Cashier: *grins* Well, you’re certainly not the first to feel that way.

Me: Really? Others have asked to write their e-mail instead of saying it?

Cashier: No, but you can tell that some find their e-mails embarrassing. As soon as we ask for them, they go all red in the face and start mumbling.

(So, to anybody who feels embarrassed about their e-mails; Take comfort in that you’re not the only ones to feel that way.)

Revenge Of The Nerds

, , , , | Friendly | April 9, 2019

(I’m sitting on the grass in the park on a sunny day. A few meters away, two guys in their early twenties are sitting on a bench. I don’t really pay much attention to their conversation until suddenly, a woman their age walks past with a dog and settles on the grass a bit further away.)

Guy #1: “Did you see who that was?”

Guy #2: “Huh?”

Guy #1: “The girl with the dog. It’s Veronika!”

Guy #2: *leans over and looks in the girl’s direction* “Veronika? You mean, from high school?”

Guy #1: “Yeah!”

Guy #2: “No…”

Guy #1: “It is! Imagine her with shorter hair.”

(There’s a pause while both guys try to make eyes at the girl inconspicuously.)

Guy #2: “Gosh, it is her! Wow, she’s hot!

Guy #1: “Check out her legs.”

Guy #2: “She’s changed so much.”

(There’s another pause while they check out the girl in silence.)

Guy #2: “In retrospect, throwing that basketball at her face and calling her a nerd might’ve been a stupid idea.”

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