What A Coincidence; We’re Stupid Intolerant!

, , | Right | March 22, 2020

(This summer we’re selling this ridiculously big milkshake called the “luxury shake” which we mix ourselves.)

Customer: “I’d like one luxury shake, please.”

(I make it for her and hand it over. She just stares at it suspiciously for a long time.)

Me: “Something wrong?”

Customer: “What’s in that?”

Me: “In the milkshake? Well, there’s milk, ice cream, and whipped cream.”

Customer: *horrified* “But I’m lactose intolerant!”

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Sometimes Nature Knows Best

, , , , | Related | March 19, 2020

I don’t remember this myself, but Mom used to tell me about it. It happened when my younger brother was a toddler, about thirty years ago.

For some reason, he was crying and Mom tried to comfort him by offering a biscuit but he refused to take it. Meanwhile, my older brother and I tried to sing lullabies to help. It didn’t work.

I can only imagine all the noise that must have caused, and it alarmed — and possibly annoyed — our fifth family member, our cat. She was like an extra mom to my younger brother and me. For example, she would carefully lie down above my head when Mom went out with me in a baby stroller, as if to keep me warm and safe.

Without Mom noticing it, the cat came into the room, jumped up in the crib, and carefully took a small bite of the biscuit. For some reason, that made my brother stop crying, as he then snatched it away, almost like “That’s mine!” In that moment, the cat calmly left the room, her mission completed.

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Unfiltered Story #189029

, | Unfiltered | March 10, 2020

I am communicating with my company’s IT-support via text chat. I’m in Sweden, while the support guy is located in India, so none of us use English as our first language.

Support: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Me: “Hi, I have a problem with internet connection and domain access. I usually put my laptop in sleep mode when I go home for the day, and then every morning when I arrive and wake it up, I no longer have internet connection or domain access for half an hour or so.”
Support: “OK. Wait a sec, I’ll check”
After about 5-10 minutes of waiting to be able to start working:
Support: “Sleep mode is a power-saving mode in which your computer is switched off temporarily, but can easily be resumed. It’s good for the environment to put the computer in sleep mode when it is not used to save power.”
Me: “… I know. That’s why I do it.”
Support: “OK. Have a nice day!”
He then closes the chat session.

It’s Curtains For Your Price!

, , , | Right | March 8, 2020

(I am in a decent-sized secondhand store run by three separate church organizations. The people working there work for no pay, so it is mainly senior citizens. My brother and I are there to pick up a shelf after work. I overhear a nasty old lady walk up to one of the workers who is hunched over when he walks — some kind of back problem I assume — is soft-spoken, and was very polite when we talked to him earlier.)

Lady: “How much for this curtain hanger? It has no price tag.”

Worker: “15 kroner.”

Lady: “How can it be that much? I bought one before from here just like this one for just 10 kroner; why is it so expensive?”

(Off she goes with the hanger and I assume she’s changed her mind, so I keep on focusing on taking apart the shelf so I can bring it back home. Lo and behold, back she comes, this time with a manager.)

Lady: “Him. He promised me it was 15 kroner.”

Manager: “I don’t know why he would say it’s 15 kroner when it’s actually priced 30. But if he promised you 15 kroner, then you can have it for 15 and he will be retrained in regards to pricing.”

(I wish I had spoken out about her alleged claim of the low price she’d made at the start but I was so focused on getting the shelf and going home so I just kept quiet. It was pretty clear to me that she was trying to scam a lower price when she didn’t lead with the lowest price of ten kroner.)

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She’s Having A Long Week

, , | Right | March 6, 2020

(I’m calling up a client I had a conversation with a week ago about a discount offer. The customer is an old lady.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] calling from [Company]—”

Customer: “Yes, I know. You called me here today and I told you I wanted to think about it, but now I don’t want anything!”

(I’m somewhat surprised, but I take a look at my call history.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure? Because according to the call history I’ve only called you once before, and that was last week.”

Customer: “Yes, last week. That’s exactly what I said!”

Me: “…”

(Short story, she wasn’t interested.)

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