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A Crafty Grandmother, Part 2

, , , , | Right | April 13, 2022

I work in a library. We set up an arts and crafts table during school breaks, and people have been inconsiderate.

Wise of past mistakes, we have a sign up asking that people who use the arts and crafts table clean up after themselves when they leave. People do not know how to read signs, so at closing time, we go around to remind them

A small child and their grandmother are sitting at the arts and crafts table at closing time, so I go up to them to warn them that the library will be closing soon.

Me: “Hello, we close in five minutes, so it’s time to start to clean up the table so it’ll be nice and tidy for the children who come by tomorrow. You can put the supplies back in the marked boxes over there.”

Child: “Noooo! I’m not finished yet. Can we stay a little longer?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we who work here want to go home to our families, too. You can come back and finish tomorrow.”

Grandmother: “No, we won’t have time to come back tomorrow. We have other activities planned for the rest of the holidays and then he has to go back home.”

Me: “Okay, why don’t you grab the things you need to finish your project and take them home with you? You can grab a few stickers and some glitter and coloured paper if you want. Just clean up after yourselves after you leave, please.”

They agreed to do so, and I left to get the rest of the place in order for closing. When I got back to the information desk, I asked my coworker if everyone had left and she confirmed that they had. I did another round just to make sure and arrived at the arts and crafts table.

It had been picked completely clean. All the coloured pencils, the glitter glue, the crepe paper, the scissors, the sticker sheets, and the pipe cleaners meant for our visitors to use were gone.

Congratulations, Granny, for your creative interpretation of “grab the things you need to finish your project”. Thanks to you, the next day, the kids had to make do with mostly just plain copy paper and pencils until we could get more supplies in.

A Crafty Grandmother

Not Even Remotely A Good Job

, , , , , , | Working | April 13, 2022

Many years ago, I worked first-line tech support for a satellite TV company. I usually like working in customer service because I like to help people and make their lives a little easier, but this place had terrible working conditions. It was an inbound call center, and the only sort of quality control they were concerned with was how long our call times were and how much stuff we could sell to the poor customers who were calling in asking for help with their equipment. 

The fixation on call times was ridiculous. If my average call time exceeded two minutes and didn’t result in a sale, I would be called in to have a serious conversation with my managers. 

One day, I received this call.

Customer: “My remote control stopped working again. This is so stupid. You need to get better quality equipment. Can you send me a new one?”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Did you try to change the batteries?”

Customer: “No, I’ve never needed to change them before. They just send me a new remote. How soon can I have it? I want to watch the game on Sunday.”

Me: “Sorry, no one asked you to change the batteries before? They will run out after a while, you know. If you open the little hatch on the back, you will find a compartment there. Most remotes run on double-A batteries; you can get them at the grocery store.”

Customer: “You mean I could get this working today?”

Me: “Most likely, yes. Listen, why don’t you try that first, and if it doesn’t work, you can give us a call back? Make sure to check what kind of batteries are in your remote and get the same kind.”

Customer: “I’ll do that, thank you!”

We ended the call and I took a look at this customer’s call history. He’d called about having trouble with his remote control twice before. Both those times, the associate who had taken the call had just ordered him a new remote without even trying to resolve his issue, most likely to keep their call times down. Since it was within the warranty, it ended up costing the company money.

Yes, my call time was over two minutes for this one. Yes, I got chewed out for it. Within three months of working for this company, I was completely burned out and ended up having to quit.

When I say, “quit,” I mean, “fell into a big, black depression hole”. My doctor strongly encouraged me to have a talk with my managers and find a way to accommodate my medical issues. My managers strongly encouraged me to quit without offering any other alternatives. I did quit since I couldn’t bear working another day there, only to find out after I had already signed the paperwork that since I technically quit on my own demand, I would have to wait three months to be eligible for unemployment benefits. Those were three very hungry months. Yes, I should have known better, but I was young and the union was practically non-existent in that workplace.

Quick! It’s An Emergency! Spread The Blame Around!

, , , | Working | April 7, 2022

The company where I work has opening hours from 9:30 am to 10:00 pm. The emergency exit is to be unlocked until we close. Then, it is to be locked.

One morning, [Boss] arrives to open up and discovers that the emergency exit is unlocked.

As [Coworker] was working last night’s late shift and is working today’s early shift, [Boss] approaches [Coworker].

Boss: “Who forgot to lock the emergency exit yesterday?”

Coworker: “All of us, I suppose.”

When You First Discover Copy In The Morning

, , , | Right | March 28, 2022

I work in a library. I’ve just helped a lady make some copies, and I take her over to the cash register to pay for them.

Me: “All right, that will be twelve crowns, please.”

Patron: *Waving the copies in my face* “Look at these!”

Me: “Oh, is there anything wrong with them? You wanted double-sided colour copies, didn’t you?”

Patron: “But they look exactly the same!”

Me: “Well, that’s usually what happens when you make a copy of something.”

She puts the copies and the originals down on the counter next to each other.

Patron: “I can’t tell the difference! How am I supposed to know which ones my originals are?”

Me: “The original set is the one with the folding mark in the middle.”

Patron: “But I can’t tell the difference! This is amazing!”

Me: “Here, I’ll put a paperclip on the originals for you so you can tell them apart. And that will be twelve crowns, please.”

Patron: *Pays happily* “I can’t believe it! But you need to be careful; people will come here and use that thing to make fake passports.”

Yep. I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for all the villains trying to use our ten-year-old photocopier to forge IDs.

When A Rookie Short-Circuits

, , , , | Working | March 24, 2022

It’s a slow day at work, and I’m standing around chatting with the other three rookies. The phone rings and one of them picks it up.

Coworker: “Hi, this is [Coworker]. Welcome to [Store]…”

There’s a beat, followed by him putting the phone straight down and turning to us.

Coworker: “I just hung up on them.”

The baffled look on his face was priceless, and we all burst out laughing.

No, the customer didn’t say anything weird; my coworker just blanked and hung up. We usually answer the phone with, “Welcome to [Store]; this is [My Name],” so I suspect the poor guy got off script and couldn’t save it.

Hopefully, the customer assumed they just got disconnected.