Unfiltered Story #148184

, , , | Unfiltered | April 29, 2019

( I often enjoy odd greetings to make people smile, sometimes they don’t go to plan)

Me:  ” Hello there, could I book an appointment with anyone that knows human anatomy”

Receptionist “Sorry Sir, I think you have the wrong number, this is a Doctors surgery”

A Spectacle Of A Robbery

, , , , , | Legal | April 5, 2019

(I work at an opticians with my mum, who’s the manager. In the middle of the shop is a large rack of sunglasses. The dummy lenses in the frames are tinted like sunglasses for people to try on, but there’s a price sticker on each of them, as well as the words, “Suitable for prescription lenses,” embossed in white font. Because of the embossing, they’re not normally a target for thieves because you can’t wear them with the text there… or so we thought. It’s the middle of the day and the store is quite busy; a coworker is stood in front of the rack acting as a greeter when a heavily pregnant woman comes in.)

Coworker: “Good morning! Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes. I was wondering if you could tell me about these glasses…”

(She leads him to a different display only a few feet away. There are about five others of us on the shop floor, mostly busy with people, and two more of us are approached by customers almost immediately after my coworker. The man who speaks to me is very skinny and looks kind of nervous.)

Customer: “Hey, yeah, I’m looking for my mum’s glasses; her name’s [Woman’s Full Name].”

Me: “Um, I can’t see any ready to collect for a Ms. [Last Name].”

Customer: “It might be under [Different Last Name].”

Me: *still rummaging in drawers* “I can’t see anything for a Ms. [Different Last Name], either. Hang on, let me check the order list. Can I have her date of birth?”

Customer: “Actually, don’t worry. I’ll just leave it.”

Me: “I’m sure I can find them, just—“

(With that he turns and hurries out, and it’s right then I realise the entire rack of about fifty pairs of sunglasses has been emptied. It takes a few seconds for me to link the theft with a man who has been talking to me the entire time, and I realise he was a distraction. I run out of the shop but it’s too late. When we check the CCTV, there are four people clearly involved. They came in within a few minutes of each other, three made beelines for member of staff, and the other waited briefly before emptying the display into a backpack before they all left at almost the same time. It was amazingly well coordinated, and we still don’t know why they’d want sunglasses with white writing in the way of your vision. We report it to the police and take their photos from the CCTV, and we think that’s all we can do, until a few weeks later when my mum and I are at a car-boot sale.)

Mum: *whispering* “Do you see those?”

Me: “The sunglasses? Yeah, why?”

Mum: “They’re from the shop.”

Me: “They’re just black frame sunglasses, Mum; they all look the same.”

Mum: *to the people at the stall* “Oh! Look at these! How lovely! Let me just try them on!”

(She makes a big pantomime out of trying on these sunglasses and really looking at them.)

Mum: “I’ll think about it.”

Me: *as we move away* “So, they weren’t ours?”

Mum: “No, they are. I’m calling the police.”

(I still didn’t really believe her because there were only a few pairs out and they’re mostly black and brown, generic-looking sunglasses, but when the police turned up they found dozens more pairs in their car. When they had a closer look, they found that the white lettering had been carefully filed off of each pair. They were arrested and eventually found guilty of the theft, though they were only fined. What most surprised me was that they’d gone to all that effort to steal and file down the sunglasses only to end up selling them for £5 each at a car-boot sale!)

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Customers Are A Pain(giver)

, , , , , , | Right | April 16, 2018

(After being in the office all morning, sorting out a problem with the tills, I finally make my way onto the shop floor. This is my first customer of the day.)

Me: *moving to the side as we pass on the stairs* “Good morning.”

Customer: “No. It’s not a good morning. I’ve got a headache and it’s raining. Can I have some painkillers?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t have any, and we aren’t allowed to give medication to customers.”

Customer: “But I’m in pain. Why don’t you care? Today is my first time without taking drugs and you don’t even care. You’re a monster!

(The customer then ran up the stairs, and I went down to check on my colleagues. After I have been serving for a while, the customer comes downstairs with a large book in her hands and is served by one of the new girls who works weekends. The transaction goes smoothly, with the customer shooting me dirty looks the whole time.)

Customer: “I want a bag. The real ones, not the ones you give anyone. I have money, you know.”

Colleague: “They are real bags; we don’t have any others to give you, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Why are you afraid? You should be afraid of being young and a girl.”

Colleague: *staying very professional* “Is there anything else for you today?”

Customer: “You’re trying to cheat me! I want to see your manager. Right now!”

(I take over the transaction, much to her disgust.)

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “I want a real bag, not those plastic ones.”

Me: “As my colleague told you, these are the only ones we provide. I can double them up for you, though, if you’re worried about them breaking.”

Customer: “You know, you’re horrible. My grandfather was the most wonderful, kind, loving person in the world, and he was tortured and murdered in Germany. You are a monster, and you deserve to be tortured in Nazi Germany, you b****.”

(She storms out of the store without the book.)

Me: “I’m going back into the office for a bit.”

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Don’t Have A Cow, Ma’am

, , , , , , , , | Right | March 19, 2018

(I am volunteering at a local agricultural fair that takes place in my county every year. Participants are exhibiting livestock such as cows, horses, goats, and chickens. All the animals on the fairgrounds are being housed in large barns that are open to the fairgoers. My job is to supervise one of the barns and make sure that people are safely interacting with the animals. The particular barn I am assigned to is one that houses goats and cows. I notice a woman and her five-year-old son going up to a pen with a very large bull in it. This particular breed of bull is known for being aggressive to humans.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I would advise to you not to get too close to the bull, as he is not very friendly towards humans.”

Woman: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I understand animals and their behavior. I have three dogs at home!”

Me: “Right. It’s just that bulls can act very unpredictably towards humans, and we have had some instances in the past where guests were harmed by the animals.

Woman: “I am not an idiot. Don’t tell me how to properly interact with the animals.”

(I shrug it off and walk away, thinking nothing of it. A couple moments later, I turn back around to see the mother trying to boost her son up over the fence into the bull’s pen.)

Me: “Ma’am, what do you think you’re doing?”

(I rush over to the pen and call security.)

Woman: “I want my son to get a better look at the cow!”

Me: “For God’s sake, please stop! You can seriously hurt your son!”

(Fortunately, security arrived. They were able to escort the woman off the fairgrounds. To this day, that remains, by far, the most shocking and unbelievable interaction I have had with a fairgoer!)

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Working For A Schmuck

, , , , , , , | Working | February 9, 2018

(I’ve just started a new job and have had a several-hour-long meeting with my new coworkers. The coffee is percolating through me so I head straight for the bathroom. The CEO, who has a reputation for being eccentric, looks across to my urinal.)

Boss: “Ah… Are you Jewish, or did you go to public school?”

Me: *turning red* “Um… er… Just ‘done’ is all.”

Boss: “Well, at least you know you’ll never be a banker. They’re all complete pricks.”

(I wish I could say this was the limit of his behaviour, but it wasn’t.)

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