No Arguments Where Arguments Are Valid

, , , , , | Right | August 14, 2017

(At the store where I work we have a highly controversial return policy. We do not do refunds, and our customers are not huge fans of this.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Uh, yeah, hi, I have a little problem with my purchase. I’m not sure who to talk to about this, and I hope someone can help me.”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “I was in your store last week to make a purchase. In the middle of the transaction, I asked the cashier if she could check a price for me. She forgot to take the item off my purchases, and ended up charging me for it. I know that your store has a no refunds policy, but what can be done?”

(Judging from the tone of her voice, she seems really worried, when in reality it’s a problem that can be easily solved.)

Me: “Although you’re right about that, your situation is a little different, ma’am. In this case, it was a genuine mistake made by one of our cashiers. You didn’t actually buy it from us; you were mistakenly charged for it. Our final sale policy only applies to, well, sales.”

Caller: “So, I can get my money back?”

Me: “In this rare and unusual circumstance, yes, you can get your money back.”

Caller: “Oh, thank you so much! You’ve just made my day!”

Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. Thank you for being such an understanding customer.”

(Imagine that. Almost every day I’ve worked there, I’ve had unhappy customers try to argue with me over our policy, and the one person who would’ve had a valid argument chooses to abide by it!)

The Lunch Bunch

, , , , | Learning | August 10, 2017

(Every day, we’re called to lunch in groups, then left to wait in a cramped, drafty corridor until a teacher comes up to tell us they’re ready. Or often, just left there for ages for trivial reasons…)

Worker: “Well, the thing is, they’re ready now. But I’m not the one who’s been scheduled to send you down today. As soon as we work out who it is, we can send them up.”

(She disappears for a long time. We’re getting restless and hungry.)

Worker: “Okay, we’ve worked out who’s supposed to do it, but we’re not sure where she is. We’ll all just have to wait a while longer.”

Me: “If you’re ready, can’t we just—”

Worker: “No!”

(She leaves and my friend stands on a bench.)

Friend: “Right! On the count of three, we all just go down there! One, two three!”

(The whole crowd rushes through the doors as one. Since they couldn’t punish all of us, there was nothing they could do and had to get on with serving us.)

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

, , , , , , | Right | June 27, 2017

(I work in a restaurant where you can have unlimited free salad with every main course. You can also purchase just salad on its own. This occurs one afternoon after a man comes to the bar, orders one starter, and helps himself to no less than six bowls of salad. When it’s clear he’s not going to order a main, I go over to him.)

Me: “Hello there, would you like to order your main course now?”

Customer: *looks angrily at me* “No, I don’t want a main.”

Me: “I’m afraid our unlimited salad bar is only free with every main course, so you will have to order a main or pay for the salad.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this; I’m not paying for salad. It says it’s free.”

Me: “Well, it is free with every main meal, so you need to order a main course. Let me get you a menu.”

(I walk off to get him a menu and to let the manager know what’s happening. He’s pretty blunt when talking to me but always supports us. He sees the guy on the camera and loiters by my till as the guy is pretty big and rather aggressive in his tone. When I go back to him, he is still there and standing near the till.)

Me: “Have you decided on your main?”

Customer: *mumbling complaints* “I can’t believe this; this is ridiculous, having to pay for free salad.”

Me: “It’s only free with a main. You can pay just for the salad, which is obviously cheaper.”

Customer: *pays for the salad reluctantly* “I can’t believe this. It’s disgusting! What sort of a place makes you pay for salad?!”

Me: “A restaurant!”

(He stormed out and my boss, who was watching the entire exchange, snorted and disappeared into the office where I later found him crying with laughter. He tried to tell me off but failed miserably.)

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