Ya Think?!

, , , , , | | Working | July 15, 2019

(I am put on the rota for a day that I requested off, as some executives from head office are coming in and I was noted by our manager for being a good ambassador for the site. This conversation happens after the executives leave on the day. Staff can request days off in their normal availability by penciling the date in a diary in the manager’s office.)

Manager: “They told me you perform well but didn’t feel like you wanted to be here.”

Me: *deadpan* “I requested today off to observe the first anniversary of my uncle’s death with my loved ones, but was told I couldn’t have it because [Executives] were coming.”

Manager: “Oh…”

Immigration Check-Mate

, , , , , , , | | Friendly | May 24, 2019

(It is a hot day, and I’m in a long queue at the checkout. There is a very well-dressed woman in front of me with a baby carriage. She is in no way shabby — she has an expensive haircut, designer clothes, and unique jewelry — and she seems to be in her early twenties. In the carriage is a very well-behaved baby munching on a piece of cucumber. An elderly lady in front of the young woman turns to her.)

Old Lady: “Do you want to go before me? I see you only have a few items.”

Young Woman: *smiling, with a strange accent* “Thank you kindly, but I cannot accept that. You are very nice, though.”

Old Lady: “It is no problem, I assure you. You should head home with the baby as soon as possible in this heat!”

(The young woman accepts the offer after a few more arguments, and then helps the lady load her own groceries on the belt. They are chatting meanwhile, and the young woman, while she has a strong accent, speaks English pretty well, and politely and eagerly makes small talk about the little boy with the lady. Another man from behind me butts in, shouting at the old lady.)

Man: “Don’t pamper that bloody immigrant! They are doing nothing more than taking our jobs and living out of benefits!”

(It is very obvious that the young lady is not on benefits. She jerks from the yelling, and the baby also starts crying, which makes the man yell more.)

Me: “Hey, that’s rude!”

Man: “Shut up! She is doing nothing more than leeching on us citizens!”

(The young woman picks up the baby and turns around, beet red with anger.)

Young Woman: “Let me stop you right there. Unless you are a professor of [extremely obscure scientific field] or at least a fellow teacher at [University], I am not taking your job, and I was never on benefits, not here nor at home. Besides, this baby is a citizen; he is the son of my friend, and I am just babysitting him until the semester starts. But I have to say, if you are so afraid of me taking your job, you must be crap at it.”

(The man started spluttering and tried to curse at her, but the young woman turned away as it was her turn for the cashier. The old lady started to comfort her and the baby, and they left together, the young woman helping to carry the old woman’s groceries. The man tried to harvest some sympathy, but everyone turned away. Served him well!)

Unfiltered Story #151044

, , , , | | Unfiltered | May 18, 2019

One lady: “… and he had both legs decapitiated at the knee …”

Other lady (a little later on): ” … Oh, yes. I’m a great believer in faith.”

Unfiltered Story #146876

, , , | Unfiltered | April 12, 2019

(My family and boyfriend are the customers in this story, we were renovating the house my family has just moved into and buying paint for our rooms, since my brother and I are in our twenties and our sister is in her late teens)
Me: I think I’ll get one of these mixed up in silk emulsion.
Brother: That’s more expensive than matt!
Me: It’s tougher than matt, that’s why.
Brother: No! I mean, you’d have to buy the matt as well as the silk and use the matt as a colour undercoat!
Boyfriend: No, that’s not how it goes.
Brother: Yes it is.
(I notice that an older man in the store’s uniform is behind my brother, listening with an incredulous look on his face)
Me: Sir, I’m sorry, would you mind lending your expertise?
Clerk: You need a white matt undercoat, but the colour coat can be whatever kind of emulsion you want.
Me: Also, who is in charge of the mixing service?
(He raises his hand, and I have the silk emulsion for one wall mixed with the other being an on the shelf blue)

We’re Not Really “Feeling” You, Either

, , , , , | Working | April 10, 2019

I am serving my notice period for a job. On a Monday, the guy hired to replace me starts. He’s apparently been out of work for a few months, due to some chronic medical issues. He does complain of feeling feverish and run down, and is wearing a wrist brace for an apparently long-standing strain injury. Overall, though, he seems keen to be back in a job.

On Tuesday, he isn’t in when I arrive. Our manager advises me that he’s called in sick, citing the fever he mentioned the previous day. We agree it’s not a great start to a new job, but one can’t plan for sickness, so we shrug it off.

I work from home on Wednesday, as the trains aren’t working. The new guy doesn’t answer any emails in the morning, and at lunch, my manager tells me that he hasn’t been in again due to something medical, but is due to be in for the afternoon.

On Thursday, I get in late — train issues again — and New Guy is, once again, not there. My manager fills me in on the details:

Wednesday morning, he had to make an urgent doctor’s appointment to get his inhaler refilled, as it had run out, and it’s something he really shouldn’t spend a whole day without. Once more, it’s something that doesn’t reflect hugely well, but it does seem reasonable enough.

While he was at the GP, however, he decided it was also worth the doctor taking a look at his wrist — yes, the one that had been injured for a least a month prior to starting this job. The result of this investigation necessitated a trip to the hospital for x-rays and other stuff, which my manager was promised would only delay his arrival until just before lunch.

Two hours after lunch, New Guy calls to say he’s gone home and won’t be in — all the excitement of the day has left him “not really feeling it” — but he swears up and down he’ll be in on Thursday.

When he does arrive Thursday morning, after consulting with the department head and HR, my manager politely tells him that it’s not working out.

It’s hard to feel too sorry for him, though; our contracts enforce a one-month paid notice period during the first six months of employment, which applies no matter who makes the decision to terminate your employment.

So, for a day’s training, a sick day, and a couple of medical appointments, the guy got about five weeks of pay.

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