Racists Just Need Some Love

, , , , , | Working | December 13, 2018

(I work in customer service with a girl who is unfortunately very racist. When she’s not serving customers, I often have to hear her vile, disgusting, racist rants. To her credit, however, when the topic of conversation isn’t about race or culture, she is somewhat tolerable.)

Coworker: “Guess what? I recently started dating a guy, and we really hit it off! We decided to start going out for real, now!”

Me: “Oh, wow, that’s great. Congratulations.”

Coworker: “I just have to tell you more about him! His name’s [Boyfriend], and not only is he charming and handsome, he’s also the sweetest guy I’ve ever met!”

(I take a moment to contemplate what is going on. The name she mentioned sounds distinctly ethnic, and it just so happens to be from her least favorite ethnic group.)

Me: “Wait a minute. I’m really happy for you and your new boyfriend, but you said his name was [Boyfriend], correct?”

Coworker: “Yeah. Why?”

Me: “I thought you hated brown people?”

Coworker: “I thought I did, too, but he somehow managed to convince me otherwise. If they’re capable of being as sweet as him, then they can’t all be bad!”

(Wow. I’m really happy that she’s no longer racist, or at least less so, but talk about doing a complete 180!)

Unfiltered Story #131676

, , | Unfiltered | December 9, 2018

(A group of friends and I just placed an order for collection from a pizza place round the corner. They have a special collection offer for £5 per pizza, and the site is also running an additional 20% off offer if you spend over £30. Consequently I add a few items to get it over that. I receive a phone call a few minutes after placing the order.)

Worker – We have to reject your order. The offer you’ve used isn’t valid.

Me – (forgetting about the 20% off) No, it’s okay, we’re coming to pick them up.

Worker – No, that offer isn’t valid for collection.

Me – Your collection offer isn’t valid for collection.

(This goes on for several minutes.)

Worker – No, maam. The offer isn’t valid. It clearly states it’s only valid for delivery.

Me – (finally finding the bit about the other offer) Oh. Ohhhh. Oh. Sorry! Can we just bring the extra cash when we come pick it up.

Worker – (possibly slightly exasperated) Sure.

(I’m not normally that blonde, honest!)

Their Argument For Getting A Return Is Week

, , , , | Right | November 27, 2018

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to return this, and I don’t have a receipt.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return items without a valid receipt.”

Customer: “I have a credit card statement. You can use that, instead.”

Me: “I’m afraid that credit card statements are not an acceptable proof of purchase here. It only shows me how much you spent, and not necessarily what you specifically purchased.”

Customer: “That should be more than enough information! You should be able to look up my transaction in your computer!”

Me: “I’m sorry to say this, but our computer systems are not as advanced as what you normally find in major retailers. We literally have no way of tracing past transactions without an actual receipt. This is clearly outlined in our return policy.”

Customer: “Why does this have to be so hard? It’s just a simple return! I only purchased this three weeks ago; can you really not go that far back?”

Me: “Ma’am, did you just say you purchased this three weeks ago?”

Customer: “Yes! Now, can you help me or not?”

Me: “Are you absolutely sure that it was three weeks ago?”

Customer: “How many times are you going to make me repeat myself? Yes, I bought this three weeks ago!”

Me: “In that case, ma’am, it looks like we’re already done here. There’s not much more I can do for you.”

Customer: “What do you mean that we’re ‘done’ here?”

Me: “You just told me that you purchased this three weeks ago. I confirmed this with you twice. Our return policy is only good for up to 14 days after purchase, or two weeks. Even if you had your receipt, I still wouldn’t be able to return your purchase, because it happened over 21 days ago.”

Customer: “Well… that’s not very nice!”

Dogs Actually Do That?

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 24, 2018

In the UK, mandatory schooling finishes after the completion of GCSE exams, which are taken after two years of study. When my brother was picking his options for the GCSEs, my family had adopted a puppy from a specialist rescue charity for a particular breed of dog.

This puppy was teething when he came to our family. One day, my brother left his options paperwork on the dining table, and the dog got a hold of it. We came into the dining room one day to find it had been used as a chew toy; the largest part left had distinct bite marks, and paper was everywhere.

My mother told my brother to fetch his homework diary so she could write a note to the school to say that the dog chewed it and he needed a new one. Feeling silly I told my brother, “At least it wasn’t your homework.”

He didn’t get it until our mother told him that the dog eating your homework was the oldest excuse in the book.

Makes Your Stagnant Blood Boil

, , , , , , | Working | November 8, 2018

(Every grocery store has problems with things being put or left in the wrong place, and not just because of the customers. A coworker has brought some items up to the front desk, where I am working, so they can be returned to the right spot.)

Coworker: “You’ll never guess where I found those. They were shoved behind a box of chips down .”

Me: “You think that’s bad, I’ve found—”

Coworker: “I’ve found an open box of condoms down [same wrong aisle] before.”

Me: “Wow, that beats what I was going to say. I’ve found eaten chicken wings in that aisle. Someone’s been throwing the bones behind the stuff on the shelves.”

Coworker: “Yeah, I’ve seen that, too.”

(After that we go back to our separate jobs, until this happens a couple hours later. I walk up to my coworker, who is stocking shelves.)

Me: “Okay, I can beat it now.”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “I just had to clean up blood from the bottom of the food bank bin.”

Coworker: “WHAT?!”

(Apparently, some leaking meat had mistakenly been placed in the food bank bin instead of being taken back to the meat department. When this was noticed, the meat was removed and disposed of, and the bin taken to the back for cleaning… and then eventually returned to the front without ever being cleaned. The bin was then left there for two days, until I decided to look for the source of the terrible smell. This was definitely the worst incorrectly-placed item I’ve ever had to deal with.)

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