Only A Token Kindness

, , , , , | Right | September 2, 2017

(Our supermarket gives a blue token to all customers, so they can choose a local charity to benefit from the bag charges. On this day, a woman has just spent £250 when the following takes place.)

Me: “Thank you for shopping with us today. Here is your receipt, and a token to put in on your way out.”

Customer: “I only get one?!”

Me: “I’m sorry; what do you mean?”

Customer: “I have spent £250 today at this shop, and I only get one token! This is appalling. I deserve more!”

Me: “Well, the token policy is one per customer, per transaction, so you can’t have more than one, despite spending a large amount here.”

Customer: *sighs loudly, leans over the checkout, and grabs a handful of tokens from my tub and marches off*

Me: “Did that just happen?”

To Beard, Or Not Beard

, , | Right | August 30, 2017

(I am walking the aisles, not even closely looking like an employee, when a young lady comes across me.)

Lady: “Hey there, where is [item]?”

Me: *sincerely confused* “Excuse me… I don’t know, I don’t work here.”

Lady: “But… you have a beard; you MUST be working here.”

What’s Your Deal?

, , | Right | August 29, 2017

(A coworker is helping me out with repricing products, and we’re discussing some of the sillier customers we’ve had.)

Coworker: “You know, I had a customer come up to me ask if we had any English.”

Me: “…any English what?”

Coworker: “That was exactly what I said!”

Me: “That reminds me of a guy who asked, ‘where’s chili?’ I was tempted to ask if he meant the country!”

(We laugh, and a customer approaches us. We both turn to her.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I have a question about the vegetables over here?”

(I’m with that section, so I follow her to the shelf. The shelf advertises a meal deal where you can get a pack of noodles, a tray of vegetables, and some stir fry sauce for a certain amount. The customer picks up a larger bag of vegetables that is near the deal items, but is not part of the offer.)

Customer: “I want to know why this bag isn’t included in the deal? It’s the same price as the others, why isn’t it?”

Me: “…because it isn’t?”

Customer: “But it’s the same price.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. It’s just not part of the deal.”

(The customer huffs and walks away. I return to my coworker.)

Me: “I think we have a winner.”

Giving Customers A Reason To Be Anxious

, , , , , | Working | August 29, 2017

(I am walking through the centre aisle of the supermarket when a colleague screams out:)

Colleague: “NO! I ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU!”

(I run to the aisle and make it just as security arrives as well. The colleague is shaking and the man is staring at her completely confused. The man is escorted to a secure area while the police are called, and the colleague is taken to the staff room. I go into the administration office with the other managers on duty. We check the footage to see if anything was caught. We see him walk up to the colleague and ask a question, she then slaps him and shouts. Moments later I appear. We go into the staff room to see how the colleague is doing. She has calmed down a bit.)

Colleague: “Is the man alright?”

Me: “Is HE alright?”

Colleague: “I don’t want him to get in trouble.”

Me: “But he solicited you!”

Colleague: *starting to cry* “NO! He… he asked me where the bolognese sauce was, and I panicked…”

Manager: “So, you accused him of coming on to you?”

Colleague: “I PANICKED!”

(I got a call on my phone from security that we needed to come out. There was a woman screaming in the background. We all went out as the police arrived. The man appeared to have been beaten, admittedly by his wife, who was being held on the other side of the room. We explained the situation and the wife fainted at the revelation. Everyone was allowed to leave, but we requested that our colleague apologise for the confusion. She refused, and I apologised for her. Our colleague had worked with us for several years at that point and we had never had a problem. She had an anxiety disorder, but was adamant that she was fine. It happened another two times [one where she actually screamed “rape” after an elderly gentleman asked if she could check an expiry date], before she admitted she had stopped taking her medication; the reason being that she was nervous to submit the repeat prescription. We offered her paid leave while she got herself sorted out, but after a month she handed in her notice.)

18 Is The Age And The I.Q.

, , , | Right | August 29, 2017

(The age limit to buy alcohol in Finland is 18. If a customer buying alcohol looks under 30 years old, we are instructed to ask for an ID. The “younger than 30 years rule” is a nationwide rule and it’s in effect pretty much everywhere. You can only use a passport, a driver’s license, or an official ID card to prove your age since these are the official Finnish IDs issued by the state. I’m a student working part-time in a supermarket as a cashier. In my store there is a sign at each register stating the alcohol law and listing the valid IDs. It’s about 8:45 pm on a very quiet summer evening and we are about 15 minutes from closing. A young man, maybe in his late teens or early 20s, comes to my register with a shopping basket full of beer.)

Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

Customer: *pats his pockets* “S***, I forgot my passport at home.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but legally I can’t sell you these without an ID.”

Customer: “Come on, I don’t look that young. I’m 22! I’m obviously over 18! Can’t you just make an exception this once since there is no-one else here?”

Me: “Sorry, but you have to have an ID. That’s the law.” *I point at the sign at the register*

Customer: “H***, I need this beer for a party and it’s too late to go home to get my ID and come back before nine!”

(In Finland it is illegal for retailers [grocery stores, etc.] to sell alcohol after nine pm [and before nine am]. After nine pm you can only buy alcohol from bars, clubs, restaurants, etc.)

Customer: “But look!” *pulls up his shirt* “I have a tattoo! That means I’m over 18!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but, first of all, you don’t need to be 18 to get a tattoo, and more importantly, a tattoo is not a valid ID. You need to have either a passport, a driver’s license, or an official ID card.”

Customer: “S***! Wait! I have my car keys with me. Look!”

Me: “Yeah, I can see them. Unfortunately they are not a valid ID either. You need either a passport, a driver’s license, or an official ID card.”

(Customers hands me his beers and starts to leave.)

Customer: “This sucks. We ran out of beer and it was already 30 minutes to nine. I was in such a hurry to get here I just grabbed my keys, credit card, and license from my bag and forgot the passport.”

Me: “…your license? Your DRIVER’S license?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “You do realise you can use your driver’s license as an ID, right?”

(The customer left very happy with his beers. I was left playing my favourite guessing game: on drugs or just very slow?)

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