My Being Nice Has Expired

, , , | Right | May 27, 2020

I am working in the organic food section of the market, and there is this customer who is going through the specialty peanut butter while muttering to himself.

Me: “Can I help you with anything, sir?”

Customer: “Do you have any expired peanut butter in the back? There’s none on the shelf.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You never have any expired food on the shelves here! I want to buy expired peanut butter!”

Me: “Sir, it’s against the law for us to sell expired products.”

Customer: “I don’t care if it’s illegal! Get the manager for me!”

I track down the acting store manager and the customer seems to recognize him.

Customer: *To me* “He won’t help me.”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “You don’t have any expired peanut butter! You never have expired peanut butter!”

Manager: “We aren’t allowed to sell expired food.”

Customer: “I’ve already called your corporate office about this! You should let customers buy what they want!”

Manager: “If you weren’t asking for something that would cause us to break a law, then we would sell you what you want. But store policy and federal law prohibit us from selling expired products.”

The customer goes back to rummaging through the peanut butter for a minute.

Customer: “Does this stuff sell well?”

Manager: “Yes, it sells moderately well.”

Customer: “Who buys it?”

Manager: “Local college students.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! College students can’t afford to pay ten dollars for peanut butter!”

Me: “Sir, I’m a college student, and I can afford to spend almost six dollars a day on coffee.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! You probably don’t make enough here to do that!”

Manager: “Sir, unless you’re going to buy something that hasn’t expired, I suggest you leave. I will not sell you expired product, and I will not allow you to speak to my employees like that.”

Customer: “I’m gonna report you to your corporate office for denying a customer’s request!”

Manager: “You do that.”

Apparently, that wasn’t the first time he had come into the store looking for expired food.

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Unfiltered Story #194913

, , | Unfiltered | May 25, 2020

(I’m working on the tills. There’s a long queue and I see someone approaching with a toy and a receipt, obviously ready to return it. She looks like an angry sort of woman so I prepare myself for the worst)

Me: Hi there. How can I help you today?

Woman: I want a refund on this toy. I bought it for my daughter’s birthday.

Me: Okay. Was there anything wrong with it at all?

Woman: Yes! You press the button and nothing happens, watch!

(She presses the button. The toy lights up and starts making all the noises it’s meant to. The woman stares at it for a few seconds)

Woman: Okay. Never mind.

(She makes quite a hasty retreat after that. She must have been queuing up for a good few minutes and, unfortunately, it was for no reason whatsoever!)

Should Just Bench That Strategy

, , , | Right | May 23, 2020

I’ve just walked in for my shift and I stand at the customer service desk waiting for my supervisor to finish up with a customer so I can take over from her. Whilst she does this, I notice our “Community Colleague” — a colleague who deals with the charitable side of the business, e.g. allowing charities to come and do bag packs — is stood at a table with one of the benches beside it.

The bench is from behind the checkouts. It’s World Book Day, and she’s invited some local school children to the store to purchase their books and take part in activities. I don’t know any of this until later on, however.

An older woman comes up to the customer service desk.

Me: “Hi. Can I help?”

Customer: “There’s only one bench down there!”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, I can see the other bench usually down by the checkouts is behind you. Our community colleague appears to be running something for the kids.”

Customer: “Well, there’s three of us squeezed onto the bench, and it’s not nice! As the youngest person out of the three, I had to be the one to get up and complain!”

Me: “I do apologise for the inconvenience. I’ve literally just walked in so I have no idea why the bench is not in its usual place, but I’ll make sure to sort it.”

Customer: “This isn’t on! There needs to be a second bench!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am.”

She stalked off. I told my supervisor and we both laughed about the fact that the woman was complaining about a seating area that we only provide as a courtesy, anyway. Plus, the benches easily fit four people on them. Our Community Colleague ended up dragging the bench back down and then being told off by a different customer for “putting a bench in the way”!

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Somewhere, Jesus Is Face-Palming

, , , , , , , | Right | May 23, 2020

I am a customer at a local supermarket. While my items are being rung up, I realize I have forgotten to get lip balm. I notify the cashier and step away from the line to get some from another aisle. When I return with the lip balm, I hand it to the cashier, who rings it up and gives me my total.

However, in the time I was out of the line, the daughter of the female customer behind me had stepped in front of the area where the credit card scanner was. I say to the little girl, who is maybe seven or eight years old, “Excuse me,” and then step in front of the card scanner. As I step in front of the scanner, I brush against the little girl ever so slightly.

Customer: “What do you think you’re doing, pushing my little girl like that?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I need to pay my bill.”

Customer: “You could at least say, ‘Excuse me.’”

Me: “I did say, ‘Excuse me.’ You must not have heard it.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t! You know, it’s because of people like you that little girls are messed up today!”

Me: “No, little girls are messed up today because of bad parenting.”

Customer: *Scowling angrily* “I denounce you, in the name of Jesus, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done…”

Me: “Why are you using the name of Jesus like that? You’re clearly following the way of Satan.”

The customer closes her eyes and begins clapping her hands while rocking from side to side.

Customer: “In the name of Jesus, in the name of Jesus…”

By this time, close to twenty people had stopped what they were doing to observe the situation. My items were rung up and I had paid my bill, so I invited her to my church and got out of there!

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Limited Shop, Limited Mindset

, , , , | Right | May 22, 2020

The supermarket where I work has introduced measures as a result of the current health crisis. There is a limit to how many can be in the store at one time so people aren’t squished together, and we’ve reduced the amount of checkouts that are open because they’re very close together and limited the amount of certain items you can buy in one shop so we can recover from the panic and bulk buying that’s happened.

I’ve been manning the entrance queue, which takes about eight minutes to get in. I know this because I decided to time it when I saw my mum enter the queue and shop for my granny — her mum.

My shift ends and I join up with her to finish with the shop. We join the checkout queue of about nine people, with an off-the-clock colleague in front of us. A couple joins the queue behind us with a basket and only a few items.

Male Customer: *Loudly* “Another f****** queue?! Outside one took half an hour; this one will take what?”

Female Customer: *Loudly* “Probably an hour and a half!”

Mum: *To me* “They pushed in front of me in the queue outside, so it did not take that long for them to get in.”

Male Customer: *Loudly* “[Other Supermarket] doesn’t have this f****** problem; we can just go straight to the checkout!”

Female Customer: *Loudly* “AND they haven’t limited the amount of pasta you can buy!”

Me: *Loudly, to them* “There are eleven people and eleven checkouts; it’ll be a few minutes.”

They ignore me and continue to loudly complain about how awful and stupid our policies are, and how good [Other Supermarket] is. At this point, the queue includes my off-the-clock colleague, my mum, and me, and then this couple. My colleague walks up the queue as she’s called this couple forward several times to use the basket shop and they’ve been too busy complaining to hear her.

Checkout Queue Colleague: “EXCUSE ME! You can go to the basket shop! Please and thank you!”

Male Customer: “F****** rude! [Other Supermarket]—”

Mum: *Yelling* “If [Other Supermarket] is so great, why don’t you just shop there and save us the headache?!”

Female Customer: “Because they’re out of pasta!”


The couple scurried to the basket shop.

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