Unable To Vouch For His Common Sense

| Bristol, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m working the tills on a relatively calm day. I serve an elderly customer and he hangs about for a moment.)

Customer: “Those £1 things; do you have one?”

(He’s referring to vouchers that occasionally print with a receipt. One didn’t print with his.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir, you didn’t get one this time. It varies depending on what’s in your basket and how much you spend.”

Customer: “No, I just want to look at one! You guys ripped me off the other day.”

(I pull a voucher out of the bin, as plenty of people don’t take them, and show it to the gentleman, going through restrictions and expiration.)

Me: “What was the issue last time?”

Customer: “Well, I had one so I decided to get a big bottle of brandy instead of the large one, but I didn’t get the £1 off!”

(I suddenly remember a coworker telling me a story similar to this.)

Me: “Sir, did you hand them the voucher?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “You have to hand them the voucher to get the money off. We don’t know who has them so we don’t ask for them.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s how vouchers work.”

(He left, muttering about how he would try again some other time. I saw the coworker who told me the story later, and told her about the guy. Apparently he’d been doing this every time he’d come in for about a month.)

Fighting Sleep And The Law

| Australia | Bad Behavior

(I work in service at a supermarket. This is one of my first customers on a busy Saturday morning:)

Me: “Hey. How you going?”

Customer: “Why do you look like that?”

Me: “I’m tired…”

Customer: “WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IF YOU GO OUT CLUBBING AND DRINKING ALL NIGHT! IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT.”

Me: “Uhmm, I was home studying last night…”

Customer: “Sure you were; what are you even studying?”

Me: “Law.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, just to let you know, when you graduate, don’t get your hopes up that you’re going to get a job as soon as you finish, because believe me, someone will always do the exact same job you can for cheaper and better!”

Me: “…”

(He continued ranting about how I needed to drop my expectations about my future workforce until he finally paid and I gave him his receipt.)

A Regular Defence

| UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Popular

(I have worked in a supermarket chain for about eight years. I am recognised by many regular customers and I often have a chat with them. I get a call for till help as I am stacking shelves. I go over and jump on and call people over to my till.)

Me: “Would you like to come over? I have opened this till.”

(A couple of people walk over and one regular offers a woman a place at my till. The woman politely says no. The regular customer looks a little annoyed but comes to me for service. Once I finish ringing her up she stands glaring at the woman who is being served now. I help get rid of the queues and lock my till away. When I get back to the front to pick up some items that need to be put away, the regular grabs my arm and drags me to the woman.)

Regular: “You know what? You were very rude to not want to be served by this young lady. She is sweet and always smiling. If she has ever been rude, then you must have deserved it.” *starts ranting at the woman who is looking very confused*

Me: “[Regular], what’s going on?

Regular: “I offered this lady a place at your till before me but she refused and I think it’s not nice, as you are a lovely person and she shouldn’t dislike you for no apparent reason!”

Me: *smiling at the compliment* “Well, thank you for the compliment but she didn’t refuse because she dislikes me. She refused because store policy states people can’t serve family members and she was respecting that. You see, that’s my mother.”

Regular: *looks between me and my mum* “Oh, dear.” *turns to my mum* “I am so sorry; I hope I didn’t upset you.” *turns and hurries off*

(To this day that customer apologizes to my mum, even though I haven’t worked in that store for almost a year.)

No ID, No Idea, Part 26

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Popular, Underaged

(I’m a cashier at a large chain supermarket, and our policy is to card everyone who orders alcohol and cigarettes who looks under the age of 40. There are two people in line buying alcohol, and I card the lady in front and explain the policy. After I’m done it’s the man behind her’s turn, and I’m not about to card him.)

Customer: *scoffs* “What, not gonna card me?”

Me: “All right. May I see your ID, then?”

(He proceeds to hold out his wallet, with the ID in the viewslot. We’re not allowed to accept it that way, so I ask him to remove it. When he hands it to me, I notice it has a hole punched in the upper-right corner.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this ID has a hole punched in it. That means it’s invalid and we can’t accept it.”

Customer: “No, it’s valid. They did that…”

(I proceed to call my manager over who was passing by.)

Manager: “Nope. Sorry, sir, but we can’t accept an ID that has a hole punched in it. We can’t sell it to you.”

(The customer leaves in a huff.)

Me: *to Manager* “I wasn’t even gonna card him. He insisted.”

Manager: *laughs*

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 25
No ID, No Idea, Part 24
No ID, No Idea, Part 23

Swipeout

| Bristol, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(We’ve just had some new staff start, and I’m working in one of the aisles when one of them calls me over. In the UK, chip and pin has been used for many years now. Most people under a certain age have never had to use the swipe method.)

Coworker: “[My Name], what do I do when it says ‘swipe card’?”

Me: *coming over* “You use the magnetic strip on the card and swipe it on the side.”

(At this point I’m behind the till with her, and I take the customer’s card out of the machine to show her. The customer, an older woman, chimes in.)

Customer: “I don’t understand what’s wrong; I’ve always used this card this way.”

(It’s now I notice the card I’m holding is the wrong way round in the machine, which would made the machine think it didn’t have a chip and ask for a reinsert before giving up and asking for a swipe.)

Me: “This way?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “This is the wrong way round. This bit—” *points at the chip* “—needs to go in the machine.”

Customer: “No it isn’t! That bit—“ *points at the silver hologram logo on the card* “—goes in!”

(I don’t say anything. I cancel the card transaction and start it again so it lets the card be inserted. I put it in the correct way, the customer insisting it’s the wrong way. Surprise… it works. Once the customer has left, I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “Some people put their cards in the wrong way. Most of them realise. Some don’t.”

(I then explain to her how to tell from our side if the card is in the wrong way, and then what to do when there is a “swipe card”. We both agree that the customer was either too proud to admit she was wrong, or didn’t trust us because we are both quite young.)

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