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Coming Around To Not Coming Back

| Cheshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I am on the opening shift, which means I’m on my own on the tills for at least an hour. A woman approaches me.)

Woman: “Excuse me, can you tell me where [Product] is?”

Me: “If you go down the aisle on the far left and then take the first on your left, it should be on a shelf down there.”

Woman: “Can’t you take me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t. I have to stay on the tills.”

Woman: “Well, that’s no good!”

Me: “I could call a member of floor staff to take you there?”

Woman: “Don’t bother. I’m not coming back here again. The customer service is terrible.”

(She leaves in a huff, and another customer who was waiting just raises her eyebrows.)

Customer: “I bet you’re heartbroken that she’s not coming back, aren’t you?”

(I laughed.)

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The Funniest Things Can Just Turnip

| ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am a cashier at a grocery store in the middle of my shift when a lady in line unloads and then…)

Customer: *hands me a turnip* “Is this a cabbage?”

Me: “No, this is a turnip.”

Customer: “Well, this was over there with the cabbages and it was the only one there.”

Me: “A cabbage is green and leafy, like lettuce.”

Customer: “I thought it looked funny.”

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The Cake Shop Is A Lie

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(It’s a week before our store closes. A few days ago, my manager told me not to take any more cake orders because we no longer have the supplies to properly decorate a cake. While cleaning up, the phone rings and I answer it.)

Me: “Bakery department. How may I help you?

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to put in a cake order for next Wednesday, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t take anymore cake orders due to the store closing soon.”

Customer: “Oh… but can you have it done by next Wednesday?”

Me: “Ma’am, I just said we can’t take anymore cake orders.”

Customer: “But I need a cake for next Wednesday. Can’t you do that?”

Me: “No, because we don’t have the supplies necessary to fill an order.”

Customer: *getting agitated* “Listen, here! I need a cake by next Wednesday and you should have it ready or I’ll—”

Me: “It won’t be ready by then because the store is going to be closed by that time.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Me: *face-palm*